We may have MORE empathy not less.. research

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Hi all, I`m back

Read a recent article (below) about autistic folk being less able to `feel` their heartbeat and learning this is one way to reduce anxiety... very interesting, well worth learning to control your breathong ( I can lower my heart beat to about 38)

However the most interesting bit was something I have been trying to square for decades and especially since I discovered I had a modicum of ASD.
Empathy... Aspies are not meant to have any!... but I read a theroy a few years ago which said ... in actuality we have too much at times we feel the pain of others more intensly than NTs [which can incidentally trigger further anxiety]... this researcher is seeming to point in that direction

Sarah Garfinkel’s interest was sparked after reading a scientific paper on autism and empathy.

“I found within this paper an almost buried graph showing that if you measure the bodily response of someone with autism to seeing someone in pain, it’s actually greater,” said Garfinkel. “They have a heightened bodily response to the pain of others.”

This finding runs counter to the idea that autistic people “lack empathy”, she said. “Early accounts of autism sometimes said they didn’t have empathy and for me that’s really not true at all,” she said.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/201 ... ical-trial

I could have told you that.

I wish I had less empathy

I think the problem is that we don't show that we have it. When I was a kid, if somebody else was crying or hurt, I couldn't deal with it, I'd have to shut down whilst everybody else would be asking them if they were OK.

*I* kinda wish *I* don't. This is coming from someone who have a some of inner findings.

The 'more empathic' I'm, the more 'corrupt' or even more 'vulnerable to influence' I may end up. Being more 'sympathetic' would rather twist said emotions felt into cruelty because of 'empathy'.
Conflicting emotions -- mainly autistic emotions, and rational thought or logic that supports ethics and morality both fights this temptation of cruelty...


Yes, even if those people around me are nice, understanding enough and very pro-social, but that doesn't mean they are any more forgiving or even benevolent toward those they cannot tolerate well. Could be any less, really.

Honestly my 'understanding of others feelings', mainly NTs' empathy, doesn't end up with compassion or sympathy, but something really 'wrong'...

Something darker, not like some cynicism that most aspies may develop overtime, not the vulnerability or involving sensitivity, and not the kind of downsides for being emotionally swayed or naive.
Something that stirs the beast, and very unlike the stances learnt from negative social experiences.


Low overall NT inclined social quotient and emotional quotient with 'more NT inclined empathy' does not end well for me. Yes, I do think it can be separable.
And I think it has more consequences than having a spiky mental intelligence profile.

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I suppose I am trying to say, yes many of us have felt this for a long time (not all)

1. it is good to be acknowledged
and
2. don`t you think it is positive that these concepts are leaking out into the mainstream media, and may eventually change perception of the NT public ... who incidentally (ironically) may have less empathy towards some of us due to learned predjudice??

I like to focus on my breathing when my thoughts are running wild.

also, I am very empathetic.

I have empathy for things I don't need to have empathy for. Like I can't eat chocolate reindeer because they might feel pain even though I know they won't.
And I have so much empathy for mum. She had a crap childhood and a crap adult life. She's always really perky and never says things are tough but I feel bad for her based on what I know of her life.

I'm sure "hyper-empathy" goes on in a lot of us. I hate to think I've hurt anybody's feelings even a tiny bit unless they've made me really angry or if I'm convinced they're pretty cruel and uncaring.

I think I probably have the right amount of empathy. I'm not cold-hearted, but I'm not a soft touch, either. I think I have a fair amount of common sense.

Like the real Sgt. Schultz, I think I have too much empathy and I cry easily. I guess it's part of being a Sweet Pea.

My problem is that I have too much empathy, rather than too little. I feel hurt when I walk past a store that doesn't get any business, I feel hurt when someone fails an exam, I'm a chess player and I feel hurt when I beat an opponent, I feel sorry for dogs whose owners hurt them and constantly worry that this might be the case when I see one. I feel physical pain almost when I hear someone cry or a dog whine. It's such a nasty burden to have to feel others' pain when one feels so much oneself, but I don't know how to get rid of it.

My empathy levels vary over time, but yes, I do have too much at times, causing me to turn inward, and do a partial shut down. When someone near me is upset, or angry, or nasty I can feel it, and it makes me very uncomfortable. It's kind of like being too close to high voltage electricity. You just want to distance yourself from it, and if you can't leave the area, you do a partial shut down to protect yourself from the overdose of nearby emotions.