How would you tell someone not to touch you with no offense?

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Lumir
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22 Dec 2018, 11:54 pm

Say if someone wanted to hug you or tap on your back to get your attention, how would you react and tell them not to do that? It really upsets me personally.



Trueno
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23 Dec 2018, 3:26 am

I try to be as polite as possible, but basically I risk giving offence.


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23 Dec 2018, 7:41 am

Say, "Don't do that", prefaced by "Please". Be clear-as-daylight unequivocal, but formally polite.
You have a right to have your physical integrity and personal space respected.



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23 Dec 2018, 8:16 am

do what I do and say "hey man, I don't know you like that"



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23 Dec 2018, 10:01 am

If someone approaches me from behind and touches me, I nearly jump out of my skin. I tell people that scares me, and to please not do it.



AnnieAnn
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23 Dec 2018, 10:09 am

For me it has not been possible, it always ends with me getting angry and letting the person know.



TUF
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23 Dec 2018, 10:27 am

'I'm not a huggy person'.
Even at the library where I used to work where the rest of the volunteers were mostly bigots who didn't like to listen to people, they took this seriously.
Although I never said it. Someone kindly noticed it in me. I winced without meaning to. Then she said 'Tuf's not a huggy person, not everyone is, that's all right' when we were doing huggy type things.
Even outside of romantic/sexual encounters, people should respect boundaries if they're not entirely socially incompetent themselves. Aspies because you provided a rule 'don't touch me'. NTs because the norm, if you say it in a serious tone of voice, is not to touch people who don't want to be touched.



Raleigh
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23 Dec 2018, 1:49 pm

I'm like, "no touchie!"

I've often thought of prostituting myself out: "That'll be fifty bucks for that feel"

Just kidding. :P


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questor
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24 Dec 2018, 7:30 pm

I have a problem with relatives wanting to hug me--not naughty hugs, just warm hugs. I don't like being hugged. Tried to stop it for decades, but they just got mad. It was worse dealing with them being mad, so I have to put up with the hugging. Fortunately, I now live alone, and don't have to put up with it as much anymore.


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questor
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24 Dec 2018, 7:40 pm

Thought of one more thing to add after I posted, but couldn't find the edit button. I wish I had, like Raleigh, thought of charging for a hug a long time ago, but that would also have made my relatives mad. Since they were mad at me most of the time, for most of my life, I just prefer to avoid them most of the time, which is a lot easier to do now that I live alone.

Still...I can't help wondering...How much should a hug cost? And in what currency? :lol:


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AnonymousAnonymous
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24 Dec 2018, 8:35 pm

I try to be polite.


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28 Dec 2018, 3:30 pm

Saying "please" is absolutely sufficient.



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28 Dec 2018, 3:55 pm

I don't like people brushing past me when I'm chopping things in the kitchen or hugging me if I'm doing the dishes. I just state my aversion to it and make it clear that it is my ideosycracy and not their fault.
There are other things that people do that really make me shudder but if I've asked them to refrain and they keep on doing it then I just put up with it. Touch is quite personal though so you can set your preferences where you like as long as you ask politely.



nick007
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28 Dec 2018, 6:53 pm

domineekee wrote:
I don't like people brushing past me when I'm chopping things in the kitchen or hugging me if I'm doing the dishes.
My girlfriend sometimes hugs me from behind while I'm doing the dishes. I LOVE being affectionate with her but I don't like being distracted/stopped while I'm washing dishes. I do it to her sometimes but she likes that more than me & isn't bothered as much. It's something I tolerate cuz I know she's just trying to be affectionate & sweet & cute which are the same reasons I do it to her.


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Sahn
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28 Dec 2018, 8:08 pm

nick007 wrote:
My girlfriend sometimes hugs me from behind while I'm doing the dishes. I LOVE being affectionate with her but I don't like being distracted/stopped while I'm washing dishes. I do it to her sometimes but she likes that more than me & isn't bothered as much. It's something I tolerate cuz I know she's just trying to be affectionate & sweet & cute which are the same reasons I do it to her.

You sound good for each other