An aspie misunderstanding or...

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Okay, my new talk therapist thinks I don't understand my husband because of AS and is what just happened an example of that?

So we were lying in bed and my husband says "we should take a trip to the hospital, my back and side hurts" then he proceeded to put his leg on top of mine. Anyway the hospital comment infuriated me because he's been there numerous times for that pain and they keep saying it's not an emergency, and it's already known why he has the pain and he's getting a referral to a back doctor. The leg thing also made me mad, because for some reason I am sensitive to that sort of touch and I have told him several times not to do that. So in my mind he was trying to anger me on purpose so I exploded at him. He responds with "sorry, I was joking!"I called him a liar saying he was not joking and it lead to an argument. He later admitted his "joke" was not funny but I can't tell if it really was a joke or if he was trying to upset me?

He could have been being provocative...

I don't think it was a planned joke, nor do I think he was trying to upset you. He was in pain and frustrated by the doctors, and wanted sympathy from you. He didn't know how to say this.

that conversation does not make appear any autistic trait to my opinion, but clearly, there is an important communication problem between you and him and I find that the guy you got married with has strange/crazy manners

Putting one's leg on top of someone else's leg is a very specific action (and easy to remember to not do), so I doubt that he was joking unless he didn't think you were serious when you told him to not do it.

Sensory issues are not "real" to some people, so he may have seemed to understand that you didn't like it at the time that you said so, but after that the idea didn't really stick in his mind as an important or serious issue. It's like people don't "hear" things that they can't make sense of sometimes. And his mind may not have been working well because of his pain.

He seems to "complain" a lot which I think might be trying to get sympathy or empathy or something but most of the time I tell him I don't like hearing he's in pain because it upsets me.

... and that upsets him.

It's cyclical, unfortunately.

I think your husband has psychological problems, maybe perverse but not autistic.

I don't suspect my husband has autism at all, it's me that I think reacted wrong...

My husband had past diagnosis of borderline personality, PTSD and major depression

His back would hurt so much that he needs to go to the urgencies and then he puts his leg on you, kind of thing you avoid when your back is hurting that much. Moreover he knows evidently that you don't like it (as he says it is a joke and lies with no shame). I suspect that if you think of all this seriously, he on his side is having fun and playing in his perverse way, probably also inducing that because of your autism, you don't understand.

I think that his psychological problem is more perverse than borderline.

He does lie sometimes, like not long ago we were low on money and he said "I'm going to call my neice and ask for money" and when he did and she refused to give it to him he suddenly said "I was joking, I don't need money!"

Also what's been bothering me about him lately is that he got his back MRI because he says he "falls down regularly" and often if I leave the house he tells me he fell down when I was gone... But I've never actually SEEN him fall down... My uncle told me not long ago he's lying about it for some reason (though his back MRI does show he has degenerative changes to his spine)

Also he won't quit telling me how high his blood sugar is...

Anyway idk if something is going on or not.

He wants attention and compassion, or at least communication about how he's feeling.

^ yes, this is how I read it.

He put his leg on yours to get a reaction from you.
An angry reaction is better than no reaction when someone's seeking attention.

It seems like he's playing psychological games with you, maybe trying to manipulate you or do something else. His actions and words are contradictory and don't logically fit together. The communication problem here is him playing mind games with you, not with you or your possible autism. This one is on him, not you.

Your autism might make it harder for you to understand him, but his behaviour looks pretty wacky and hard for anybody to fathom. If he's lying to you and playing mind games then I can't see how you could be expected to enjoy such a relationship. I suspect your therapist needs to be told that your autism isn't the main issue here. Yelling at him might have done some good. It might not be the best way of setting boundaries, but I think boundaries need setting.