Having little to nothing in common with neurotypicals

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I often feel that I have little, if anything, in common with neurotypicals, and even if I do, it does not manifest in me the same way it does in them. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

all the time. I want friends to make cool s**t with, like music and art and talk about philosophy.

Kind of, but it's complicated. I don't feel aloof from NTs as such, but in practice a lot of them seem to follow each other's behavioural tendencies and I tend to find those tendencies are pretty much alien to mine. So I often feel a lot more sympathy with outliers and naysayers. For example, practically everybody watches live television, but I find it hard to even be in a room where a live TV set is on. I prefer to call the ones I have little in common with "mainstreamers" rather than NTs, because I don't think having a neurotypical brain is necessarily a bar to being an individual with independent ideas and interests. Indeed, I've admired some people who I reckon must have been NTs, and without such a brain I can't see how they could have been so switched on to how others were feeling. One example was a guy who was talking to a couple of people, and when I joined the group he immediately began to include me in the "rota" of eye contact he was doing, which made me feel accepted. For me, it's not a person's brain wiring that's so important, so much as what they choose to do with it.

I think I have 'layers' for this.


At the very surface where preferences of likes and dislikes, things to do with upbringing goes -- a some NTs had in common with me. Things we agreed to each other, things we could just share at times or so.

A level or so deeper, yeah, some NTs have in common with me, personality wise. But it could be just me being more or less 'formless' so to speak. This level varies on my mood though.

Go a bit deeper, where one's humanity and experiences are taken account, then some DO relate to me in a sense that some NTs understand. This changes with time however.
My teenage self in my worst years would very likely relate to NTs who suffers or intolerates things.
The me now would less likely cry with or agree with any NT who likely been through I've been through.

Going a bit deeper than that, then I have next to nothing in common with any NTs at all, no matter how anything else is in common or even agreed with me.

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i feel that way concerning most everyone, including aspies.

I only feel that way about drinking and partying. I just cannot see the thrill of getting really drunk. So whenever people start talking about when they last got really drunk, I just sit there like an alien.

But I can relate to neurotypicals on most other things.

Joe90,

I am just like you. I never saw drinking and partying as entertainment. My social connections are related to my interests. I like being around intelligent people I can learn from and around kind hearted people. I don't like superficial people who talk about the latest pop culture icon.

I feel I have nothing in common with most NTs (or NDs, for that matter), and a large part of me is glad.

I have a lot in common with some people and very little in common with others. Whether people are NT or not doesn't determine which group people fall into. The people I spend most time with all happen to be NTs. They are all highly intelligent and are very kind and generous people. None of them fit the drinking, partying, superficial, celebrity-culture-loving, stereotypes.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree about that. Whilst I agree that the way NTs experience the world seems to be different to my own experience, that does not mean that I cannot comprehend it. I am fully capable of comprehending things that I don't personally experience. It just requires an open mind, spending time with people who are different to oneself, and listening to what they have to say. The NT people that I spend time with are as interested in trying to understanding my way of experiencing the world as I am in theirs.