Alone

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My girlfriend recently broke up with me and my "friends" ditched me and betrayed me. But hey that's water under the bridge now. I'm here because, well I'm a nobody. No life as such. Nobody gets me and they think Autism is just something I use as an excuse for my actions.
I'm really lonely, looking for someone who understands and gets me.

((Yours faithfully, Quival.))

Welcome to Wrong Planet

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I knew nobody understood me and then I found this forum and it was like...WOW! people the same as me!

Everything takes time. This becomes more obvious the more time one spends on the planet. I did not discover my autism until about a year ago. So I have little experience with others thinking I use autism as an excuse. Never got the chance, so to speak. Did you find out when you were in school?

Yeah when I was at secondary school. My little brother has Autism too, but he's worse. He can't speak or move very well.

Some people wonder (including me) if it was easier for us elders because even if we were weird, we didn't get labeled. Then, for those those of us living through the 60s and early 70s there was so much acceptance of "do your own thing" that our weirdness just slipped through again.

But in the end, we all share many of the same experiences of being alone and left out.
Thanks for responding to fifasy with your experience.

It might have been easier for you because of growing up during those years. I've found that going through school with Autism was tough, it seemed to bother everybody. I wish people could be more open minded and accepting. It's not fair for any of us having to put up with bullying from others just because we're "different".

Autism is a real thing not an excuse. I have 61 years experience to back that claim up.

I got bullied in the era we are talking about not because I was autistic neither I nor anybody else knew about that but due to what I now know are my autistic traits. I recieved plenty of labels alright, just not “autistic”, they were colloquial pejoratives.

Nobody had “issues”, they were considered your problems, your fault and you were expected to deal with them and not burden others with them. There was no special education to speak of, you made it or were sent away to some horrific institution. Bullying was considered a right of passage or boys bieng boys.

There were advantages of growing up then. The technology did not exist for it so there was no 24/7 cyber bullying. Hovering parents were not a thing. All that was expected on most days was do your homework and be home by dinner. It was up to us to figure out what and whom to play with. As blazingstarr said it was more accepted that people are different. Group work was a lot less required.

What era is better to grow up in? It depends on the person. The “sink or swim” attitudes and acceptence of bullying destroyed people back then. For me the time I was given to be by myself and not being pandared to and suffering consequences of mistakes helped me figure out to a certain degree figure out my strengths and weaknesses. That said it sure would have saved me a lot of grief to know exactly who I am and why I am this way.

Conclusion: For me growing up then is the lesser of two evils.

Welcome! I've definitely found understanding here, as others have said. Sorry to hear about your recent losses.