Why are people so obsessed with me talking?

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It's so frustrating... whenever I'm in a group they'll single me out and say "she never talks." "why doesn't she talk to anyone?" yet they never try to talk me first or include me in the group! Sometimes I'll find one person to talk to, but then they'll say "Well she only talks to ONE person." Additionally, they'll harass that one person when I'm not there and ask them questions about me. There were people at my college campus who I didn't even know, who knew my name even though I never talk!

It's driving me nuts because I just want to blend in and I hate all this attention.

Additionally, there will be other quiet people and I notice that that they'll be left alone/invisible and ignored. Why do people keep singling me out/ How the hell do I get people to leave me alone?

I had people either say, "I wasn't talking to you" (even though I wasn't interrupting or jumping into a private conversation) or "stop moaning" (even though I was just talking in a matter-of-fact sort of way), and so when I decided to remain silent in a social situation with these people I was asked why I'm so quiet.

Unless you're adept at "small talk", you will likely be criticized for complaining, changing the subject, or taking over the conversation.

These people are the ones who should learn to mind their own beeswax, and are also hypocrites, since they are the ones who barged into your conversation, saying things like "Hush!", " I wasn't talking to you!", and "Mind your own business!", in the first place!

People can be such insensitive idiots. That's all I have to say.

I’ve had this happen to me many times before. It’s like they somehow know I’m on the spectrum, even if it’s “just traits”, and they quietly use this as an excuse to nitpick everything I do and critize every part of me that doesn’t fit in with their own agenda.

Other people don’t talk, fine, I don’t talk, I’m the “quiet one”, I can’t win. Every move someone else makes, everything they wear, the way they walk, talk, look etc... it’s all fine, but to an NT all of these things are “weird”. I try not to let it wind me up but it gets me down severely some of the time. The people around me micromanage my every move.

Nope you’re not the only one.

This has happened to me many times. People would mock me for being quiet, but it didn’t matter if other people were quiet. I’m guessing it’s because they saw me as different or odd in some way while those other people were “just quiet”. I’ve also had people, usually extreme NTs, develop a bit of an odd obsession with me and obsesss over everything I did. It’s like everything I said, wore and did was a topic of discussion and needed to be mocked or picked apart in someway. I don’t even dress that weird. I don’t get it. I do feel like these people may have suspected I was on the spectrum, even if subconscious.

Hollow moon

Based on your description, there is not enough data to answer your question

Plenty of precious lil "people" have had the nerve to tell me:.

"you talk too much"
"Why are you so quiet?"


" huh?", " What??"
"sssh! Shut up"


"what the f**k you looking at?"
"look at me when I am talking to you"



They do whatever they want, correct or wrong.


Some precious lil "people" are entitled lil dipshits that truly believe that they have a moral right to get whatever they want at all times. Otherwise their stupidass "rights" have been violated

For example, their "right" to be happy and do whatever they want, legal or illegal





Please do not dwell on it too much

I don't know if this is true, it's just a pattern I've observed and have yet to confirm, but I think neurotypicals typically act how they look, especially when that kind behavior is reinforced. I've always looked really "macho" and emotionless according to others, but my internal world doesn't align with my appearance at all, or at least the appearance someone in a movie has that looks like mine.

Other people I've noticed behave in correlation to their appearance. When I'm in any social environment that requires extensive interpersonal contact, I notice people clustering into groups, and often their facial expressions and behavior are similar. Because this is part of social cues, we tend to miss this, assuming that we can be "ourselves", when everyone around us already has a preconceived idea regarding how we should behave.

To us, its just a group of people who cluster together and talk. To anyone else, someone can "look" quiet, or shy, or athletic, loud, weird, funny, etc.

Ultimately I think the easiest way to see this is to see everyone like a movie character with set roles based on appearance. You can choose whether you'd want to create a new role to blend in or behave how you want.

^People assume everything based on the way I look. They refuse to believe what I say. When people talk about

racism and sexism I always think it is oversimplification and that there are hundreds of things about how someone

looks that are then judged against preconceived ideas that people are not aware they have. It would be good for

there to be a study done on this but studies are always done by people trying to prove a point (due to their own

preconceived ideas I suppose).

During my HS years, I was one of many misfits who was desperate to fit in and make friends. However, many of my peers did not like those who were desperate, so like many, I was an anonymity, an outsider.

@ OP: I agree with Uncanny Danny. There will always be hypocritical people who think they are better than everybody else because they think of themselves as smarter when in fact, they are not.

when I was somewhere between 3 and 4, my folks took me to a pediatric shrink because I wouldn't talk. the shrink did some reverse psych with me and got in my face and shouted, "TALK!!" and I shouted back at his face, "NO!!"

Aunt blabby

My precious lil "parents" could not be bothered to send me to a psychologist


Anonymous Anonymous

Some people are smarter than others, per Bell curve

That does not justify their morally superior innocent