"Nice Lady Therapists"

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https://www.realsocialskills.org/blog/nice-lady-therapists

Anyone ever dealt with these kind of therapists before?

I suspect that a teacher of mine was like this, despite not being a therapist. She was very condescending, and would pretend to be all sweet while being mean at the same time, if that makes sense.

People like this make me very uncomfortable, because they use their supposed "niceness" as a front to demean and abuse you. They want you to feel bad about yourself so that you'll hang onto them. And the worse thing about all this is that because they tend to be female, society won't stand up against it.

I am sorry you had to go through that. Did you report her? Is it too late to do so?

Last edited by Marknis on 09 Feb 2019, 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Almost every woman therapist I've come across has been of this ilk; I think the malicious, sadistic aspect of it is subconscious, however. These women do seriously believe - consciously - that they're performing virtuous acts. I think mostly it comes down to poor self esteem on their part and desire to have control over another human being by way of compensation for that deficit.

No, I didn't. I don't think anyone would really believe me. She would put on an act when others were watching. This was way back in 2015/2016, so I would say it's too late.

I see. I actually had something similar happen to me before I left high school. I was set up with the school counselor and she talked pretty harshly with me. She said things like "You need to love yourself or no one can love you!" but in a growling tone.

This thread seems rather sexist to me. It's not like there are no male therapists with similar issues.

I understand there are male therapists like this also. The reason why the article linked is mainly focusing on female therapists is because society still holds the harmful beliefs that women can't be abusive or hurt anyone, or that all women are inherently nurturing therefore they cannot possibly abuse anyone, which the article makes a point of.

Here's quotes from the article itself:







This harmful belief held by society allows abusive female therapists to stay in the practice longer and hide their abuse by using gender stereotypes and norms to their advantage.

I'm sorry she spoke like that to you. She's in the wrong profession.

I had a male therapist and he asked me "When did you decide you were a douchebag?" which was extremely unprofessional.




Thank you. I hope she's not there anymore.

I have not, but this is the exact kind of person I fear most of all; a woman, who is really mean but pretends to be nice. Its the reason why I have very few close friendships with females, as I am uncertain whether I'd be able to spot these characteristics as quickly as I'd like to. I'd rather run up against some sketchy guy in a dark alley pointing a knife at me.

Maybe the title of the blog should've been changed to "Nice Ladies", as this really doesn't apply only to therapists, but to women in all other kinds of professions; teacher, swimming instructor, babysitter, etc.

If you ask me this kind of behaviour is just as bad as sexually inappropriate comments made by a man.

And that's what scares me most about females behaving in this manner...

This was a very interesting read and thank you for raising this.

It is very possible for a therapist to become abusive whether knowingly or not.

Some very good examples there of how this can happen regardless of the therapist having ethical training and standards.

I think testimonies like this should be included in the training of therapist if they are not already making a point of this very important part of ethical practice - in doing no harm.

It helps to highlight what is unethical and damaging for those who might not have a clue.

I will pass this article on to other therapists I know as I they would find it useful and thought provoking.

I think sociopathic or otherwise malevelontly intended women are just as common or maybe more as such men. However they can ‘fly under the radar’ because their abuse and level of manipulation is extremely sophisticated and surreptitious

I nave had the worst experiences with female abusers and at least male abusers slip up n make it blatant to others in some way even if they are geniuses
Female ones are beyond frightening they also can be in positions of trust n maintain the facade of being good ppl so effectively
I hope you nwver experience that. I have (not a therapist but law clerk) n my little brothers (2 who both have ASD) have in childhood with teachers (really evil things i dont want to post here) so i think these women juat like abusive or malevolently intended men
Have a sense fr the ‘weakest’ person to pick on socially n aim fr them

There are preceptions and "Defaults" in wider society which make things complicated.
One of these is that while it appears an accepted view that men are more than capable of abusive actions, there seems a level of disbelief that women also may commit such actions.

I have observed one manager, female, talk to subordinates one to one in a way which to me appeared very patronising. i also saw the same person show poor respect of personal space, and did suspect that had it been a male manager, in the first case there would not have been allowed to get away with such language without some form of ripost, and in the second, how soon a complain of Sexual Harrassment" and uncomfortable meetings with HR taking notes would have resulted.

I would like to take Bea's observations a little further; it would be wrong to assume all female therapists might be more likely to behave in unprofessional ways, But, there is a sexist bias in society's general attitudes and perceptions trhta results in those which Do behave in such unprofessional ways are not brought to account, for them, or it is not realised that such behaviours and treating clients in such ways is unprofesional.