Do female aspies have an easier life in society?
K, it is hard to dictate one type of society i suppose.
how about giving a personal perspective in the society you are living in... and aspie friends you know.
and an easier life means ... less stress, less prone to getting depression etc. less affected by environmental factors on aspie traits.
Last edited by limau on 02 Jan 2012, 1:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Mindslave
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A factual question, eh? It depends on society, gender expectations, and Asperger's itself. So name a society, take ALL the expectations of that society into account (not just gender), and also factor in the awkwardness of Asperger's for both sexes. So maybe some societies will be easier for females, and some will be tougher. Heck, some small areas of a large society can contradict the broader society.
So give us a place and then we can answer your vague question.
Verdandi
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NO. the NT female world is **ALL** about socializing. a female who can't be part of that stands out more than a male does in the male world, which is more about activities. and standing out as a female is not like standing out as a male. as a female, you are more likely to be perceived as a wacko than socially troubled genius given the same behavior. if you're a socially challenged male, women will often feel sorry for you and mother you. if you're a socially challenged female, you are out of luck. Not to mention that a female is in danger of being taken advantage of as it is, without aspergers. Add social naivety and inability to properly perceive others intentions and you have a recipe for rape. Really, a female diagnosis of aspergers should come with a pistol. No professor would stare at my thigh if there was a pistol strapped to it, and therewith I would have absolute intellectual attention.
John_Browning
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Does anyone keep count of how many of these threads have been made anymore? None of them ever reach a conclusion.
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I'm not sure. I think female Aspies have it harder, because (not sure if this is true in female Aspies or not) females have more of a social trait in them, even I do, but I can't use it to my advantage as easily, even though I want to, because of my social anxieties holding me back. Holidays, parties, weddings, and other social events fill me with excitement, but at the same time I clam up, and it then makes me feel like I'm alienating myself and making myself ''my own worst enemy''. It seems to me that when I read posts here about doom and gloom, more often than not it's females who write them. Not saying it's everybody, but a lot of posts like that are wrote by females. I'm one of them. I think females here are more able to realise what we're missing and can feel more left out and bothered by it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it just seems that way.
Also, people expect more out of women. We're ''supposed to'' style our hair, wear make-up, wear stylish clothes, keep up with trends in fashion, carry handbags over our shoulder, like clothes shopping, pluck our eyebrows, shave our legs, give off feminine body language, etc. And if we don't do at least one of these things, other women can criticise, call you ''weird'' or ''a woman who doesn't bother to make an effort with herself'' and you even get mistaken for a lesbian if you're not careful. Unless you're confident and not sensitive to this, it's mighty hard to go through life with other people putting you down just because of a few ''typical'' female things you don't do. Not saying all women do every single one of these things, but most women do at least one of these things.
Men don't seem to get ridiculed as much as women do. Where I come from, there seems to be double standards for men and women. Men can act drunk in the day and nobody takes any notice, but if a women does it, they get ridiculed. And when I was 15 I was obsessed with pubs and I kept saying to my mum, ''when I'm 18 I want to go in a pub and sit and buy myself some drinks'', and she was like, ''you can't just go in there and sit on your own - people will take the piss'', and I said, ''but I've seen men sitting in pubs on their own and nobody takes the piss out of them'', and my mum said, ''well, men seem to do it, but you would look funny.''
And it's not only that - there's lots of other things aswell. Like if a man gets told off by someone in authority, nobody really thinks anything, but if a woman gets told off by someone in authority, people tend to stare at the woman for ages and comment.
It's as though women have to be perfect all the time.
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Female
Agreed
Agreed
Yeah, I agree with that too. That's basically why AS is so hard for me, as a female.
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Female
It depends on how well the female aspie seems to conform to feminine socialization and if they are receptive to the efforts of other females to understand them.
I find that other female aspies with masculine characteristics are more likely to be ostracized. Specifically, if they are emotionally expressive and are able to talk about their feelings, I find that they are more accessible to other females and are more likely to gain sympathy from them. If they are logic oriented and not in touch with their emotions, other females are more likely to see them as cold, distant, and robotic: someone that other females would not be receptive to.
As a child, (and still today), I was a very emotional person, and because of this, my female peers seemed to cling to me whenever I was feeling upset. They became very protective of me as they saw me as someone they wanted to help, because they could clearly see what I was going through.
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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.
My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
I am very good with expressing my emotions. People say I open up a lot, and everybody immediately knows how I'm feeling (I go mad if I can't tell anybody how I'm feeling). I've always been able to express my feelings, even from a very early age.
I have an NT brother and my aunt has an NT daughter, but both my mum and my aunt say that I express my feelings more than my NT brother and NT cousin do. My aunt even says to my mum that she's lucky to have a daughter like me who expresses my feelings to her and opens up about how I'm feeling.
I can even say how I'm feeling right now.
Right now I am feeling a bit worried because I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow, my friend is supposed to ring me back and tell me if she's free or not, and she hasn't yet. Also I'm a bit sad because Christmas is all over, and after having a week or so out of routine, I feel quite panicky of getting back into routine again and facing the real world again.
There, that was so easy. But there's a downside to being able to express my feelings, because I do it too much. Then all people say is, ''stop moaning!'' You can't win!
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Female
I agree with the posters who are saying it's harder for females, all other factors being equal. Coming across as a bit geeky or nerdy (and no I'm not reducing ASDs to that, it's merely a very general example) is seen as ok for a bloke but not for a woman. Fairness unfortunately does not come into it. It's not identical to the double standards that are being applied to all women in society, but it's certainly closely related to it.
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I have traveled extensively in Concord (Thoreau)
I am at the age now, that people expect me to be a mother, because other women my age are mothers by now.
But I can't, because I cannot really take care of myself and I am often too "disconnected" from life, like many of you will also experience. It is not only about social performance, but being alienated.
Though I keep forgetting that I should be a mother by now and have a job and be able to take care about myself, I sometimes get reminded of it, when I see other people who develop normally and reach their "adult milestones".
Makes me sometimes feel very bad about myself, that I don't.
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English is not my native language, so I will very likely do mistakes in writing or understanding. My edits are due to corrections of mistakes, which I sometimes recognize just after submitting a text.
But I can't, because I cannot really take care of myself and I am often too "disconnected" from life, like many of you will also experience. It is not only about social performance, but being alienated.
Though I keep forgetting that I should be a mother by now and have a job and be able to take care about myself, I sometimes get reminded of it, when I see other people who develop normally and reach their "adult milestones".
Makes me sometimes feel very bad about myself, that I don't.
Same here I totally understand what you're saying. I wonder if I will ever be ready for that kind of responsibility
Of course.
People are extra-nice to me and come up to me and hand me hundred-dollar bills, just because I am female.
I am the CEO of a major corporation. Another was more qualified, but when the selection panel saw that he was male and I was female, they decided that he should do all the work and I should get all the pay.
In school, teachers saw that I was a girl and gave me straight A+s.
No matter how rude I was to people, they just saw it as adorable girl behaviour. Now everyone puts up with all sorts of nonsense from me because they're simply dying to sleep with me. Little do they know that I am simply toying with their affections until a more alpha male comes along. I will friendzone most of them, because, as a female, all I care about is money and social status.
Should I ever be in danger of homelessness, all I need to do is bat my eyelashes at the nearest male and he will let me move into his 30-storey mansion.
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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
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