13 reasons why I dislike having Asperger's

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I did write something similar in another thread but I want more attention on this post because I'd like to see if others can relate to at least one of these factors and I'd like to see people's opinions too.

Reasons why I dislike having Asperger's:-


1. I have always been a problem for my parents because of my symptoms and behaviours, and compared to me, my NT cousins were a walk in the park to bring up/live with (NOT saying NT children don't bring problems but compared to me it seems that way in my experience, and my mum felt 'alone')

2. I don't like being different or an odd person.

3. I give off vibes when out in public that causes people to stare like I'm deformed, even though I have learnt how to conform to NT standards and not do anything to look different or dress different or anything like that. It's not even body language, it's just vibes that you cannot do anything about.

4. Social isolation. No matter how hard I try to fit in and make friends with people, I often feel excluded in groups and feel like I'm not liked enough to be fussed over like on a birthday (I know my family make sure I'm loved). But it's still so hurtful to remember all the times I have been rejected because of my Asperger's (I blame the Asperger's because I know that if I were NT I would have just been automatically accepted). It still happens to me even now. Even if I follow all the social rules correctly, again it's just something I give off that makes people back away. It's just very hurtful.

5. I don't like having a disorder that has "lack of empathy" listed as a symptom, because I have very high empathy abilities but no matter how empathetic and understanding I can be, some people (who know about Asperger's) just automatically assume that I will naturally lack empathy just because I'm on the spectrum.

6. Autism disorders seem to be thought of as the "most disabling neurological disorder", especially by people on the spectrum themselves, because some see every person not on the spectrum as "normal", so make it sound like even a person with downs syndrome and mental retardation has more chance of succeeding in life than a high-functioning Aspie with average intelligence and the ability to pass off as NT has. That belief makes me feel more like we're aliens to the rest of the world than the Asperger's itself.

7. Murderers have been known to claim they have autism in court, which gets leaked out into the public media, which just puts a bad reputation on the autistic community, making "lack of empathy" even more believable by the general public.

8. I hear scary things about autism statistics on the internet, like "autistics are more likely to become homeless" and "autistics are going to be thrown into torture asylums in the future". So I've got that to worry about.

9. I don't like the symptoms. Special interests: got me into trouble before, which was embarrassing. Needing routine: had outbursts if routine has been disrupted in the past, and outbursts aren't good, especially for other people around you. Sensory issues: makes me hate crowds and noisy kids, to the point where it stirs up anger and hatred inside me, which makes me feel like I'm a bad person for wanting to whack a toddler for screaming near me, or whacking the parents for not controlling their kid.

10. Asperger's sometimes makes me feel like I'm insane. When I've had outbursts in the past, my mum has called it "madness", which I suppose it is when you're screaming abuse at loved ones, hitting yourself in the face, kicking doors and shouting - all over a first-world problem.

11. Asperger's can make it hard to work full-time in a demanding job, and if you are high-functioning you aren't always qualified for financial help, so you've either got to stick in a job you feel is sensory overload fuel, or you've got to work short hours and live on hardly no money. And looking for work elsewhere can not only be hard but very daunting. I'm in a job that I love (because there's hardly no pressure and it's predictable), so luckily I don't have this problem, but if I got made redundant or something it would be a huge issue for me to find another job that suits me as an Aspie, and the support for high-functioning Aspies is crap. My brother has been diagnosed with Asperger's and is crying out for help with his work and finance issues, but keeps getting rejected by every support services he tries, just because he's high-functioning and can communicate.

12. I have to take meds to control my outbursts, as nothing else worked, not even meditation. So basically Asperger's is costing me £8 a month to keep sane.

13. Having odd thoughts, like having such high empathy for objects, that throwing objects away or destroying them causes me great anxiety and sometimes tearfulness. Even cutting an apple up makes me anxious, because I imagine it as a person or an animal, and I get so anxious. Makes me feel like I'm insane. I have other odd thoughts too, which I won't list right now.

I identify with almost all of your points, Joe90. The only one I differ on is #12; I only take a basic antidepressant costing me $10 every 3 months. But the family problems, the vibes, suspicion of being a mass murderer, social isolation, I have or have had all of them. The last one I am actually enjoying now however, preferring peace and quiet to being bullied and harassed.

I wish I had recommendations I could propose but all I can do is let you know you are not alone.

14. A disproportionate number of precious lil "people" make actions and statements that, look and sound, to me, like they think that I am intellectually challenged


Some penis at the bus stop told a woman "he's kind of slow". He and she had just met, and it was already , us versus you


When I was a teaching assistant at k-2 special education, a paraprofessional had the nerve to ask me if I knew all the letters of the alphabet



f**k you b***h I know all 34 letters




Warren, aikido instructor, asked me if I knew what a ninety degree angle was and if I had a high school diploma






Theory of Multiple Intelligences

I was at a support group meeting for Aspies this week and besides saying that I feel there's nowhere in US society where I can fit in (including among Aspies, perhaps b/c they're American and I wish I wasn't), I also said there are no "assets" to have ASD, only liabilities. Especially here, at least in the UK you have the National Health Service, for all its problems. Most Americans want that, but the f****d up politics here make it unlikely for the foreseeable future. Imagine having to deal w/this curse of a disability w/o your NHS (only a for profit health care system), that's what we have in Gringostan.

Again only speaking for stats in the US, but add to your #8 the average life expectancy for someone w/ASD is something like 18 years shorter than it is for an NT. I've read that the among main causes of this early death average are suicide, heart disease, diabetes, epilespy, cancer and a few other things I'm forgetting.

You can see my age from my profile and I was only diagnosed 2 years ago, which doesn't help of course. My parents had me tested when I was 6 and reading the results now, it's clear that they knew about the symptoms back then, just not what I had. My parents did their best in raising me, but b/c they both worked in the field of education, as my mom put it, there was no way their kid would have a disability (i.e. they didn't accept it).

#7 is a very real problem nowadays, especially here when you get psychos like Elliot Rodger or Adam Lanza (you can look them up if you want) being on the spectrum and b/c of their sociopathic acts, we as a whole community get targeted, especially w/the president we have now.

I also agree and can relate to most of the rest of your list, namely 2-6 and 11. Re: 11, I've never held a job for longer than 4-5 months and the last one was over a decade ago. The process of getting disability benefits from the federal government is long, drawn out and a general pain in the ass. I'm lucky to have a friend I can stay with and who for now covers the gaps in the welfare payments I get every month from the city government b/c there are gaps in welfare that take up 7-10 days roughly each month when the money I get runs out. But I can't stay w/him forever and want/need to move in a year or two if only for my own sanity/privacy.

Somewhat re: #1 and 4, I don't have family since my parents are long gone and I don't speak to my sister. I haven't dated in nearly 20 years and that was a sh***y, abusive relationship, though I desperately want to. I do have some other friends aside from my roommate, but I don't have many of them and I see them rarely.

I could say more and maybe I will post again later, but overall no it simply isn't worth the costs of having this disability. I don't see any major positives to it.

I can relate to almost all of them except for #2. I LOVE being different and odd and crazy. I love making people think, "what the f**k?" However, I feel like people think I'm more cute than obnoxious because...well...I have genetics on my side, I suppose. (I don't wanna be full of myself, I'm simply going by what I've been told.) I notice that I seem to attract lots of children, and I get along really well with little kids and older adults because I generally have good manners. (I make little children call me "Mother Manners." Anyway, I'll give my 13 reasons why...after I go smoke a doobie with my best friend/boyfriend.

1. Everyone assumes I am extremely stupid...unless they are open minded and get to know me. Then they usually tell me that I'm extremely smart. Hmm. If only everyone was more open minded. I'm sure it's due to the fact that I take things very literally.
2. I cannot help but wear my feelings on my face. I mask all the time, but I cannot hide my true feelings for too long. I eventually explode. I have had a mental breakdown at work. Most people avoid me because I look depressed and concerned about something most of the time because I am depressed and concerned most of the time. People seem to want to avoid someone like that. They don't want to get involved. Whatever. I understand.
3. I make jokes all the time that no one in the room gets. I weird everyone out. And then everyone makes fun of me and makes me feel stupid and rude. They'll be like, "Oh my gosh, Lauren, nobody says stuff like that." Crowds always gang up on me. I'm always the blacksheep, so I f*****g avoid being friends with anyone. Everyone is an as*hole and can suck my dick, though, so whatever.
4. People are constantly telling me what to do with my life. No one understands my situation. If I ever do tell people that I'm on the spectrum, they'll tell me that I shouldn't label myself like that, and that all I need to do is get over myself.
5. I am incredibly rude. I hate everyone. Everyone is stupid and wrong and an idiot. And by everyone, I mean NTs, obviously. That's what I always mean when I say "everyone" just to clear that up. I hate that I'm rude because I'm accidentally rude. I'm really a nice person, deep down inside, and I give a huge giant crap about people that I care about. And I usually care about random people that were just nice back to me. I really appreciate people that are true and genuine, but I cut people out of my life and it seems like, to them that I don't care. I just don't want to be anyone else's problem. I just don't want them to care about me.
6. No one believes that I'm on the spectrum, and even if they did, they still would tell me that I shouldn't use that as an excuse to not be like them, successful like them, talk like them, etc.
7. Relationships SUCK. I can't go into enough detail about every little thing that I cannot stand in being in a relationship. All I know is that it doesn't have to do with who the partner is, at all. I don't mind making compromises. I don't mind taking responsibility for my own actions. I don't mind putting in effort to change bad habits. What I hate is that you can't make someone else understand why you go absolutely crazy and frantic and frighteningly aggressive all because your partner left all of the overhead lights on and it's driving you to madness. He'll try to blame it on something else like it being my period or me having had a beer or two. He'll ALWAYS find some excuse, and I can't ever convince him that he's wrong. So yeah. That sucks big time. It's like trying to convince someone that you see ghosts and they don't believe you and tell you that it's all in your head.
8. Forgetting things easily. My memory is absolute crap, and this also leads to people thinking that I'm stupid and slow. I have severe ADD and my head just jumps to one topic to the next until it finally fixates. Which leads me to....
9. Having an eating disorder. I know it's not really the autism, but I blame my intense fixating abilities to keep me having really awful thoughts about myself. I obsessed about eating disorders. That's all you'll find in my search history from when I was 14 until about a year ago...and I'm 26 now. That's a long obsession. I hate this so much. I finally stopped obsessing about it when I came to the conclusion that it's REALLY boring. I have worn it through. There is nothing more to know about eating disorders. I want to get it out of my life permanently! AUGH!
10. My whole family thinks I'm rude for not keeping in touch regularly. I need my space. I literally moved across the whole country just to get away from my smothering family. Certain family members would literally just drop their kids off and disappear for days without being able to be reached, and then the kid would scream and be like, "wear's mommy?!?!?" and I'd have to lie to them. Yeah. Alcoholism runs in my family. Great, right?
11. I'm kinda bored of writing this list so I'm going to keep it at ten...but I suppose this also counts as a reason, right?

Hmm...I don't like hearing the words 'cancer' and 'autism' in the same sentence, that just makes me hate autism even more. Does autism basically mean a death sentence?

And the NHS - pfft! That's really going down the pan.

But anyway I don't want this thread to turn into a political debate so I won't mention any more about health care.

More replies please.

Joe: I don't want a political debate either, I'm simply saying the NHS is better than the US for-profit system b/c your country has universal health care and the US alone among rich countries doesn't. But yes I've read that in recent years the NHS is getting worse due to health spending cuts, privatization, etc.

And I agree, I don't like saying those causes of death in the same sentence w/ASD either. I wish it wasn't the case and that our average life expectancy and quality of life were as long and as good as the averages are for an NT. But no that doesn't make ASD a death sentence at all, these are just health risks that people w/ASD have to be especially careful about. All you can do is try to live your own life as healthily and positively as you can/want to.

Autism, in and of itself, doesn’t increase your risk of cancer, heart disease, etc.

Plenty of diagnoses require drugs

Plenty of diagnoses make it hard to work full time

Autism is not unique in that way



You can't just decide to stop being autistic

But I don't like being autistic either

You have to cope

I can relate to most of your reasons, 4 and 9 in particular. I'm constantly trying to figure out what kind of people I can connect with, but it's something that rarely happens.

The desire to have social contact is a nightmare when those same social contacts can make you feel bad for being different. I tend to hang out with the same people all the time because of this, but I have like less than 5 people I enjoy hanging out with and if I would lose 1 or 2 it would be very bad for my free time.

Meeting new people is a huge challenge though. Next to the aforementioned rejection there are also sensory issues. People notice when I get irritated and they think I don't enjoy their company. At the same time, I'm not enjoyable company when irritated, so making friends is very hard this way.

1. I got fired from my last job for picking my nose in public
2. I used to throw a lot of tantrums one of them led to being institutionalized for a while. I haven't had a tantrum in months but I still can't get over what happened this summer
3. I can't drive because I have motor Skills Difficulties
4. People are condescending towards me about my disability and treat me like I'm way more disabled then I really am
5. I don't have very many friends
6. I Have a low pain tolerance
7. My Dad Always lectures me because it's the only way he can get through to a person with Aspergers
8. I can't handle criticism
9. I have a very obsessive/adictive personality
10. I'm brutally honest
11. People don't always take me seriously
12. I get anxious easily
13. I can't handle change

13 more reasons why I dislike humans being humans, and having curable yet cannot be treated comorbids getting in the way of my functioning and quality of life.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

My own problems lie mainly with #3 and #4, but I acknowledge that the other 11 reasons are also problematic. In this particular era, you have situations like #7 where violent criminals such as school shooters claim they're autistic, which they try to use as a sort of "Get Out of Jail Free" card. (Jail and prison are very different, by the way.) However, this "Get Out of Jail Free" card (which, at most, reduces the punishment of the gunman) also has another consequence: it creates a stereotype/misconception that autistic people are inherently violent by nature and helps it grow and thrive.