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aNewUsername
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Feb 2019
Age: 30
Posts: 27
Location: South Australia

01 Mar 2019, 7:30 am

So, essentially, this is a bit of a call-out to anyone who has attempted to handle their shyness/social anxiety/etc. What methods did you try and are there any you'd recommend?

Has anyone had medication they've taken that helped with their shyness at all?
I've only really had alcohol, which loosens my tongue and opens me up a bit. However, that is only so if the other person engages me. Even drunk, approaching someone I'm not familiar with is extremely difficult.

I recently heard of Sertraline and the description sounds wonderful, if it actually worked.
Am I correct in that one typically sees their normal doctor and asks for such a prescription? I have never gotten a prescription for anything, so I don't really know the procedure.



BeaArthur
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01 Mar 2019, 10:45 am

What was your old username? I like to know who I'm talking to.


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Arganger
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Joined: 30 Apr 2018
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01 Mar 2019, 10:52 am

Sertraline hasn't really helped me with shyness, just slightly taken the edge off of anxiety.
The best way to handle shyness (But not the easiest) is to confront it. Actively ignore it and push forward and then give yourself something you like. Build it up over time, and over time your shyness may lessen.


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Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


ElabR8Aspie
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Joined: 9 Apr 2017
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Posts: 448
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01 Mar 2019, 4:04 pm

Why consider a mind altering synthetic drug?

Seriously,don't go down that road.

My advice for overcoming shyness/social anxiety/etc,get out of your comfort zone and it only takes small steps over time to overcome your shyness and social anxiety etc.

It can be just something as small as greeting some stranger in the street when they make eye contact with you as you walk by and smiling and saying 'how ya going' or 'g'day' or just a simple 'hello'.

Or another example when you go shopping and making some small talk with the checkout chick/guy and saying 'how's ya day been mate?' or comment on the weather or something.

Or even when you have to deal with people over the phone such as a utility company or something and just saying things off cuff.

All the above works for me and it's about just being more open.

Try it,small steps and you'll find over time that your confidence grows.

Good luck.: )


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 75 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson


aNewUsername
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Feb 2019
Age: 30
Posts: 27
Location: South Australia

01 Mar 2019, 4:13 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
What was your old username? I like to know who I'm talking to.

Telling would rather defeat the purpose, would it not? Regardless, I stopped posting before your account was created, unless you too restarted.

Arganger wrote:
Sertraline hasn't really helped me with shyness, just slightly taken the edge off of anxiety.
The best way to handle shyness (But not the easiest) is to confront it. Actively ignore it and push forward and then give yourself something you like. Build it up over time, and over time your shyness may lessen.

Darn, that's about the third person to imply Sertraline hasnt worked too well.

ElabR8Aspie wrote:
Why consider a mind altering synthetic drug?
~~~~
It can be just something as small as greeting some stranger in the street when they make eye contact with you as you walk by and smiling and saying 'how ya going' or 'g'day' or just a simple 'hello'.

I have been trying exactly this suggestion for a couple years now, but this is about where my roadblock is. Greetings or the simple smalltalk expected at a checkout is alright. Going past that most basic of socialising is where it becomes extremely difficult.

Hence the search for a drug alternative. I'm looking for something to help me overcome that barrier I hit, there. If alcohol worked a bit at breaking down barriers, I was of the thought synthetic drugs should surely be far, far better at doing so.



ElabR8Aspie
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Joined: 9 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 448
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01 Mar 2019, 4:41 pm

Why does it become extremely difficult?

Regards to taking a drug,why would you want to become reliant and hand cuffed for the rest of your life?

Drugs are a band aid,they don't work.

This is where dependency and addiction starts and i went down that road for nearly 30yrs.

Read up more on the mind and how it works.

Good luck.: )


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 75 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson


aNewUsername
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Feb 2019
Age: 30
Posts: 27
Location: South Australia

02 Mar 2019, 9:06 am

ElabR8Aspie wrote:
Why does it become extremely difficult?

Regards to taking a drug,why would you want to become reliant and hand cuffed for the rest of your life?

Drugs are a band aid,they don't work.

This is where dependency and addiction starts and i went down that road for nearly 30yrs.
Because the intent is to use them for a temporary measure. Use them for months until I'm sufficiently familiar with a social circle to be past the initial extreme difficulties I have. Then because the primary goal of taking them will have been satisfied I can stop taking them, assuming their continued benefits don't outweigh the negatives.

I am not particularly concerned about addiction. SSRIs are what I wish to try and they are low on addiction ratings, comparative to the far more addictive Benzos. To add to that, I have never had any impulses of addiction. I can drink alcohol and go without for a year without issue, in fact I essentially never choose to drink. Some weeks I'll drink litres of strong-caffeine coffee to get through 12hr work days, then easily go without on the weekends or whenever the hours go to normal.
There's more examples, but everything indicates that I'm not prone to addiction or abuse. (I also don't know of any blood-relative that has ever had addiction issues.)



Quote:
Read up more on the mind and how it works.
My mind is not wired correctly, the right drug is supposed to make it process correctly. Regardless I continue to seek out relevant info/methods that could be beneficial to me. I have waited until age 24 to try proper medication, which I hope says something about my non-medicating attempts at overcoming the issues.

It's certainly difficult to find beneficial tactics to overcoming my heavy social anxiety.
"Just keep approaching strangers and you'll overcome it!" is in my opinion as useful as "I know 2*2=4 is hard, but keep trying and you'll be a mathematician eventually!"

Edit: Note: Actually, this response made me think a bit more. I get near 0 impact from paracetamol and need to consume large amount of alcohol/caffeine to actually get affected. This might imply the prescription dosages prescribed will be too weak to work right. (Or do doctors compensate for that?)



ElabR8Aspie
Velociraptor
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Joined: 9 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 448
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02 Mar 2019, 3:59 pm

Don't fool yourself when it comes to drugs,one can also become reliant on SSRI's for life,switching from one to another.

Insidious,not only mind altering but plenty of negative side effects.

I personally would be looking more into natural alternatives and focus on building your confidence and just accepting your differences.

Don't be in a hurry to leap and just accept that your unique and different.

I'm wired differently myself,doesn't mean i'm not wired correctly.

It seems like your trying to fit in to the NT system of status quo?

Seek out people on the same page as yourself,you'll find it easy to mingle.

Eg:Aspergers meetup Adelaide.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 75 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson


aNewUsername
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 22 Feb 2019
Age: 30
Posts: 27
Location: South Australia

03 Mar 2019, 4:46 am

I'm not trying to fit into the NT status quo, I'm trying to get some friendship, companionship, just the options to do something. I need it, not for what anyone else might think of me, but for me.
As it is, I spend every day at home and at work, nothing else. That is my life for years now, my life is nothing.

In school I had one friend I was comfortable with and over years was able to become a part of a social circle because of the comfort and familiarity of the school scenario. I no longer have such an easy scenario to assist me and I lost all of those friends when I moved away for work.

Put simply; the depression of an empty life is far worse than any side-effect of a drug.
I have spent years trying to succeed without the aid of drugs, it is time to give them a chance.


I have thought about trying that specific AS adelaide group out, as there's a slim chance that some there might go out of their way to become familiar with me, so I can be comfortable enough to actually function. But really, their description sounds more like its an occasional hub where people plan their own social gatherings, rather than a social gathering itself.



ElabR8Aspie
Velociraptor
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Joined: 9 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 448
Location: Universe

03 Mar 2019, 2:55 pm

Ok and to a degree,i do understand....

Excerpt:

After a relationship ended 10yrs ago,i threw myself into work for 7yrs.

Feeling burnt out,i questioned 'is this all there is to life?'.

Not long after,i had a spiritual awakening,but that's another story.

Anywho,i took a year off to find more meaning to life,more purpose rather than just working and just existing in this enslaved corrupt system.

6mnths in,i thought at the time that i 'needed' someone in my life,someone to complete me,someone to make me happy,someone just like me.

First girl i met was on the spectrum and very much like me.

Unfortunately,she had attachment issues and ran the other way after our first meet.

Anyhow,she raised the bar in more ways than one haha,but seriously,the search was on to find someone just like her.

So i sought out alternative types,free thinking open minded types,even tried a ladyboy and a crossdresser to satisfy my curiosity.

Anyhow,over time,i found,apart from the first girl i met,the rest(NT's) i could not see myself 'hanging' with.

The seeking had run it's use by date and found the processes unfulfilling.

I was chasing a rainbow with no gold at the end.

It was pointless.

The gold though,was always within ie:love,happiness and acceptance.

I accept that i'm different and live amongst the planet of the apes.

I don't 'need' anyone to make me happy,nor do i 'need' anyone to complete me.

A connection,someone like me would be great in this messed up world,but in the mean time,i'm certainly not going get depressed and hung up on some thought and idea that i'm lonely,because i'm 101% certainly not.

A 'need' is just that,a worrying thought that leads to ones own misery.

Love is all you need and it's within,you can't love anyone until you love yourself.

You don't need drugs,your still young,don't stress,one day at a time.

Live in the now,not the past nor the future,life will become a lot brighter and easier.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 75 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." --Ralph Waldo Emerson