I hate ... threads that start with "I hate"

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BeaArthur
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10 Mar 2019, 9:08 am

This makes a stressful and conflictual experience when entering the forums. If it happened only rarely that would be one thing, but it's getting pretty regular. In fact, just before I started this thread, the top two threads in this forum started with "I hate" and "(I) hate."

I get that we need support for our negative feelings and experiences, but does that need to be in the General Autism Discussion forum? Or could those threads be moved to Rants?

Me, when someone opens with that negativity, I have very little desire to wade in and offer advice or even sympathy. Maybe we could all be less depressed if we tried harder to be less depressing.


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naturalplastic
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10 Mar 2019, 9:33 am

Not to mention the current thread entitled "whats wrong with wishing death on people?". :lol:

What can I say?

I have that same dislike, but a site like this does have a lot of folks with issues to vent.



Last edited by naturalplastic on 10 Mar 2019, 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BeaArthur
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10 Mar 2019, 9:50 am

Well, here are some less negative thread titles, actual ones from today's top posts, in case any haterz need examples of less negative ways to start:

Advice? Going to therapist.
Does psychiatric hospitalization actually help?
Trouble with reading and math
Choosing to go Semi Verbal


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Catana
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10 Mar 2019, 10:08 am

1. Nothing requires you to read such threads. 2. Pretty sure that most people aren't depressed by seeing such threads; if they aren't interested in the topic they just skip it. 3. An "I hate..." title doesn't necessarily indicate a rant.



BeaArthur
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10 Mar 2019, 10:27 am

I do skip most of them. It's a style of communication that I find problematic, however. It tends to deter me, and others, from engaging fruitfully. The thread about hating certain words did have an interesting autism symptom - strong reactions to certain words - but I opted not to participate in it because of its framing.

(I guess you could say I have a strong reaction to "I hate," although not to the degree that thread was describing.)

I think the style of communication that leads to opening with "I hate ...." is what some cognitive therapists labeled "awfulizing." So you have a problem, and you conclude that it's just awful - horrible beyond description - and this leads to the conclusion that things are really worse that they really are. That CAN be depressing. I once had a therapist, a dear therapist, who, when I mentioned something that had happened to me, said "That's terrible!" I told her she was "awfulizing" and probably flunked her course in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). We had a good relationship where I could joke that way with her.


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Skilpadde
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10 Mar 2019, 10:32 am

Quote:
I Hate ... Threads That Start With "I Hate"
:lol:

Catana wrote:
1. Nothing requires you to read such threads. 2. Pretty sure that most people aren't depressed by seeing such threads; if they aren't interested in the topic they just skip it. 3. An "I hate..." title doesn't necessarily indicate a rant.

Personally I agree with all your points here.

Even if it is a rant, it can be in GAD if the it's ASD related.


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quite an extreme
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10 Mar 2019, 11:29 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I hate ... threads that start with "I hate"

Bea you are right. Everybody hates thousends of things. No reason to spam the forum with that. It only causes a negative feeling if entering the forum. Makes the depressive people here even more depressive.


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IstominFan
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10 Mar 2019, 3:58 pm

I also noticed that the Rants outnumber the Raves by more than ten to one. I know the Haven is a place to let off steam, but people do have positive things to say, too.



shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Mar 2019, 6:46 pm

This thread that you wrote


Starts with "I hate"


So you must "hate " this thread



:mrgreen:



Joe90
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10 Mar 2019, 7:07 pm

Doesn't bother me.


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DeepHour
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10 Mar 2019, 7:20 pm

I hate to say it, but it doesn't bother me either.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Mar 2019, 7:22 pm

Love is not superior to hate

:mrgreen:


Some things should be hated

For example, homophobia



naturalplastic
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10 Mar 2019, 8:12 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Love is not superior to hate

:mrgreen:


Some things should be hated

For example, homophobia


"Homophobia" is a form of hatred. So basically you're saying that it's okay, indeed necessesary "to hate hatred itself"?

Is that correct?



shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Mar 2019, 8:30 pm

Natural plastic




Yes



ASS-P
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10 Mar 2019, 9:13 pm

...I hate posts that start by saying they hate posts that start by saying " I hate..." :P :evil:!


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BeaArthur
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10 Mar 2019, 11:23 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
This thread that you wrote


Starts with "I hate"


So you must "hate " this thread



:mrgreen:

That's called irony, m'friend.


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