How important are your special interests to you?

Page 1 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

18 Mar 2019, 6:45 pm

I feel like some of mine like skiing, are so important to me that they literally help keep me alive. They help balance the effects of the stresses that overwhelm me so much every day and they give my brain a break from trying to constantly cope in a world that I do not belong in. I had a conversation with someone the other day and the person told me that skiing is not a necessity and is just a luxury and if I can't afford a season pass, I should just not ski. I told him that skiing for most people is not a necessity and is just a luxury but for me it is a lifeline that helps me survive and without it i would become so overwhelmed that I would be at risk of not being able to cope and survive. I have other sports that I do in the off seasons that help as well.

But I was so overwhelmed by our actual conversation that my brain actually started to shut down and I lost the ability to move my legs and speak for awhile. I also started to lose proprioceptive awareness of my left hand. I was experiencing loss of volition which happens to me pretty often when I am overwhelmed. I asked my counselor about it since she has ADD and PTSD and she told me that that happens to her as well from PTSD. I also asked a friend of mine who is Autistic and who has Autistic children and he said that when people have conversations with them saying that their special interests are useless and that they should not be doing them, they also experience the same kind of loss of volition and brain/body disconnect that I experienced with my conversation. I am curious as to how many of us in the community have similar experiences. What happens if people threaten your special interest? How do you respond? And is your special interest just a hobby or a lifeline that helps you cope with the world around you when it becomes too overwhelming?


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,711
Location: Stendec

18 Mar 2019, 7:24 pm

I sorta believe that if I did not have science, science-fiction, and science-fiction role-playing games, I would lose my mind. If I lost all interest in my profession, what would become of me?

:( That's a rhetorical question -- do not answer.



shadowtag
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 248
Location: Florida

18 Mar 2019, 7:29 pm

Curious... I suppose it depends on how you would define "special interest". The way you describe it seems to me like a core part of your identity; to have someone treat it like an unimportant thing to you, such seems to me like it would feel like they're rejecting you as a person. (Not that, that is the case, just my guess as a layperson.)


For me, when I feel rejected, like when someone gives the impression that what I care about doesn't matter; sometimes I do get so emotionally bothered by it that it impacts my ability to function for awhile.


_________________
Christian, Aspergian, Recovering Bundle Of Neurotic Anxieties.


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

18 Mar 2019, 8:15 pm

Thank you for responding. Can you guys describe who you are specifically affected like how you specifically respond? My entire body responds and I am curious if others have that happen as well. Thank you so much for sharing.

For me, a special interest is something that I am extremely passionate about even to the point of obsession. It is something that I feel like I must do or have in order to be able to function well. I find certain sports do that for me or sometimes I am interested in a topic of research and can research it obsessively. I find that these interests sooth and relax my mind and help my spirit stay in sync when I am involved in them. I relax and take breaks from the overwhelming stress of navigating daily life by engaging in my special interests.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,219

18 Mar 2019, 8:21 pm

"important" means "of great value" in the dictionary

"Important" does not mean "not worthless".

Only so many things can be "important"

Every day only has 24 hours and 2000 calories

Finite resources

Mine are like hobbies

Not addiction, attachment, politics, religion, obsessive compulsive disorder. They are not the "meaning" or purpose of "life"



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

18 Mar 2019, 8:23 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
"important" means "of great value" in the dictionary

"Important" does not mean "not worthless".

Only so many things can be "important"

Every day only has 24 hours and 2000 calories

Finite resources

Mine are like hobbies

Not addiction, attachment, politics, religion, obsessive compulsive disorder. They are not the "meaning" or purpose of "life"
Thank you. I like understanding different perspectives and how these interests affect us differently.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,219

18 Mar 2019, 9:26 pm

Although I am clinically depressed, lazy, apathetic, socially awkward, emotionally fragile

Not many things "interest" me anymore

Zeal

Enthusiastic

Zest for "life"


Lost it a long time ago



StarTrekker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

18 Mar 2019, 10:22 pm

Regarding special interests, they do feel very much like a core part of my identity that I'm lost without. It was about the time when my dinosaur obsession started to wane that I became more acutely suicidal. It felt like a huge piece of my identity had just been severed. It made me feel like my body was too heavy to move, even my lungs felt crushed by invisible weights that made breathing hard. I slept all day because I had no interest in anything and saw no reason to get out of bed. Emotionally I'm doing better now, but I still don't feel as excited about life as I did when I had an active special interest. I'm hoping I find another one soon.


_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,219

18 Mar 2019, 10:41 pm

There is nothing that I am good at

Or few things

Does not seem worth the cost benefit analysis.

Much Ado about nothing

No $$ , or emotional resilience

Plenty of free time

Do not want to get attached or addicted



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,753
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

18 Mar 2019, 10:43 pm

The Kinks are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

The Monkees are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

Hogan's Heroes are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

My art is a part of my identity and it keeps me alive.

Germany is a part of my identity and it keeps me alive.

Technology makes me happy and it keeps me alive.

The Olympic Games make me happy and they keep me alive.

The Internet makes me happy and it keeps me alive.

The 60s are a part of my identity they keep me alive.

Pea-like characters are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

Jesus is a part of me and he keeps me alive.


_________________
The Family Enigma


shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,219

18 Mar 2019, 10:56 pm

Right now I do not have any "special interests".

Depending on the definition of special interest, I might not ever had any

Hobbies

Do not want to get attached

For example, a friend told me that she went to aikido 7x in one week. Aikido is "fun", "important", her "favorite thing")


But $$, socially awkward, dangerous, only in one building at certain times.



Marybird
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,818

19 Mar 2019, 12:03 am

I get obsessive interests that just take over my brain.
I've had three in the last eight years.

I research the internet, save links to relevant articles,
have a stack of scientific american magazines with articles relating to interests.

If I can't find any new information, I read the same things over and over.
Because It's all I like to think about.

I don't have friends so I don't talk about my interests.
I pace the floor thinking and hypothesizing like a mad women.



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

19 Mar 2019, 2:45 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Although I am clinically depressed, lazy, apathetic, socially awkward, emotionally fragile

Not many things "interest" me anymore

Zeal

Enthusiastic

Zest for "life"


Lost it a long time ago
That is a shame. Sorry to read this. Maybe something will come that will interest you again. I hope so.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

19 Mar 2019, 2:48 am

Marybird wrote:
I get obsessive interests that just take over my brain.
I've had three in the last eight years.

I research the internet, save links to relevant articles,
have a stack of scientific american magazines with articles relating to interests.

If I can't find any new information, I read the same things over and over.
Because It's all I like to think about.

I don't have friends so I don't talk about my interests.
I pace the floor thinking and hypothesizing like a mad women.
I find that very interesting Marybird. Do you also write about the things that you study and hypothesize? I find the things I obsess about very soothing. Do you also?


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

19 Mar 2019, 2:50 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
The Kinks are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

The Monkees are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

Hogan's Heroes are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

My art is a part of my identity and it keeps me alive.

Germany is a part of my identity and it keeps me alive.

Technology makes me happy and it keeps me alive.

The Olympic Games make me happy and they keep me alive.

The Internet makes me happy and it keeps me alive.

The 60s are a part of my identity they keep me alive.

Pea-like characters are a part of my identity and they keep me alive.

Jesus is a part of me and he keeps me alive.
Very cool. I always knew that HH was important to you but it is really cool to see all these different things that are important to you.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,374
Location: my own little world

19 Mar 2019, 2:51 am

StarTrekker wrote:
Regarding special interests, they do feel very much like a core part of my identity that I'm lost without. It was about the time when my dinosaur obsession started to wane that I became more acutely suicidal. It felt like a huge piece of my identity had just been severed. It made me feel like my body was too heavy to move, even my lungs felt crushed by invisible weights that made breathing hard. I slept all day because I had no interest in anything and saw no reason to get out of bed. Emotionally I'm doing better now, but I still don't feel as excited about life as I did when I had an active special interest. I'm hoping I find another one soon.
This is very similar to what happened to me. The physical response is almost the exact same. I wonder how many others have this type of response.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph