So, I was wondering about this while in a bath. It's related to the spectrum, of course, since 'auto-' means 'self', and so, alone... now while most autistic people seem fine in a world of their own as I've observed once... being stuck in between is, to say the least, annoying, isn't it?
I keep thinking it's impossible... joy alone perhaps, sure... what is happiness, though? Mutual joy? If so, someone else is a necessity? Or can joy by itself, alone (like, say, while watching certain anime), transform into happiness? Even then it's temporary, I think... which is what joy is and so I wonder if it can ever 'transform' at all...
Honestly, I often repeated certain words to myself, and I generally hate repetition, at least when done by others, but "I hate my life" seems to pop up in certain situations... perhaps not now, while 'chemical' 'defences' are 'up' and appropriate music is on... but happiness? I feel a tinge of hunger e.g. which obviously means my temporary situation isn't perfect and so can not transition into 'happiness' (if that is defined by such perfection?) - but, no, actually... my relationship wasn't perfect, the person wasn't perfect... yet I felt happy. So, perfection not required? Which makes happiness slightly more achievable, but...
After experiencing it... what so many songs are written about, and poetry... not to mention scientific studies of how love works, where it does seem to actively alter hormones... could one of those be happiness? Or perhaps a combination, kind of like the brain and all its neurochemistry gives rise to consciousness, but only in collaboration?
Of course, if collaboration is explicitly required... if happiness is an 'emergent' quality... is it impossible alone?