Meltdowns again...

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I can't take it anymore... Autism or no autism I'm tired of my angry meltdowns... My husband was just trying to joke with me and I got angry and started throwing things and cursing and yelling. Then he touched me and I almost hit him. My husband threatened to leave me saying he can't take it anymore. I don't know what can be done...

Have you discussed meltdowns with your therapist - the one who thinks you have autism?

You might want to look for triggers and also the earliest feelings you have as a meltdown erupts. Then you might have a way of avoiding them or warding them off with a "safe" outlet.

I'm not an expert in this. It's just something I have seen people discuss at WP.

I agree. If you can identify how your body feels before you go into a full meltdown, maybe you can have a code word you can say that means you immediately need him to stop and give you a time out. Like if your neck and shoulders get tense, or your head hurts, or your eyes tear up, signs like that.

I have also heard that "sensory boxes" can be helpful - a box or area in the house where you keep things that help calm you, like headphones, a soft/weighted blanket, etc. Having a place to retreat to when you start to feel those "meltdown warning" symptoms may help distract you. Or having a place where you can engage in a special interest to distract yourself.

If you can also think about past meltdowns and what happened that day beforehand, maybe you can find patterns. For example, maybe meltdowns happen on days when you went to the grocery store or other busy place with fluorescent lights that left you more stressed and tired than normal. Or maybe they happen when your husband makes jokes where it sounds like a "mean" comment, but his tone is supposed to tell you it's a joke. In either case, you two could work together to avoid those things to prevent meltdowns.

And worst case, having a "meltdown protocol" of what he should do would probably help. For instance, maybe he just walks away and leaves you to it until you calm down.

You could try getting on meds that help regulate mood & anger outbursts like mood stabilizers &/or antipsychotics. I found they helped prevent my meltdowns. I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist is you wanna go the med route & explain the meltdowns to em. This is assuming your not seeing a psychiatrist or taking those meds already.