Autism parents made me angry

Post Reply New Topic

At the pool where I go, there is a family that has an adult Autistic son. The pool has a spa and sauna and a steam room next to the main pool and there is a shower right next to the spa on the pool deck for people to rinse off when they come out of the spa or hot rooms before they go into the main pool. Now this adult Autistic guy loves to stand under the shower for about 20 minutes. People know him and are ok with it. One time this other guy was waiting very patiently the whole time as the Autistic guy stood still in the shower for about 15 minutes. The other guy didn't say anything and just stood and waited. The parents of the Autistic guy were in the main pool watching and they did nothing. Then I saw the mom go to the lifeguard and complain about the man waiting. She said that their son pays all this money to belong to the gym, everyone does, and he could stay in the shower as long as he wanted and she was angry at the guy for standing there waiting patiently. And then the dad gave the guy waiting the finger. I don't understand what is wrong with these people.

I hate to say this, but....to make some people with autism happy and secure, the world kind of has to revolve around them. If the parents made the autistic guy come out of the shower to let other people use it, he most likely would have had a meltdown, or even got aggressive. Don't get me wrong, the autistic guy can't help it, it is not his fault, but that's the thing with looking after some lower-functioning autistic people, things can be very difficult to keep the peace.

He would not have had a meltdown. I know him. I see him every week. He could have stepped out, let the other guy in for 30 seconds and gotten back in. He could also stand in the locker room showers for as long as he wants. He is very well behaved. If his parents had asked him to just let the other guy rinse off for a moment and then let him go back in, it would have been fine and he would have done it without a problem. And the other guy just stood and waited. The other guy has no problem waiting because he also has a special needs child and he understands. He did not say anything or make any indication that he was upset. He just stood and waited very patiently. The problem I have with all this that makes me very angry is that the parents got angry at the guy for patiently waiting.

I do agree he should be polite and maybe he didn't pick up on the social cue that man was waiting to shower so he should get out to let him shower. From the sound of it, the parents seem to be the problem too and giving him the finger for waiting, WTF?

But TBH, I would have just gotten in the pool and forget rinsing off before entering any pools or hot tubs. I've done it before when showers were full in the locker rooms.

What was wrong with the guy that was patiently waiting? He should have just said something to the autistic kid, like "mind getting out of the shower for a minute so I can use it?"

I am pretty sure the autistic kid failed to pick up on the hint that someone was wanting to use the shower.

The parents of course were being ridiculous, telling the lifeguard to stop another user from waiting his turn. But hey, they were probably on the spectrum themselves.

Parents like this may be on the spectrum. Or they may be those types who develop a kind of martyred entitlement. Neither is an excuse for poor manners/behavior...especially since the son wasn't the least inconvenienced.

The parents are jerks. They stayed on the opposite side of the pool entirely. And I see them interact with their kid all the time and he's really responsive, very gentle and happy.

The guy didn't say anything to him. Actually he did say once, "May I use the shower?" and the kid just ignored him so he just waited. He also has a special needs kid so he is not bothered one bit by having to wait because he understands completely. The problem I have is not with the kid at all, it's with the parents. They never apologized to the guy, they never went over to ask their kid to please allow others to use the shower or even to explain to the guy that their kid is Autistic. The guy was as nice and wonderful as he could possibly be and they just complained that he patiently waited for their kid because they pay to come here. And to give him a finger is just unacceptable.

He could have been a very "low-functioning" autistic person, and may not have gotten the cue. He might not even know that the guy was even there. In that case, it's his parents' job to gently ease the autistic guy out of the shower, and let the other person use the shower.

That was "out of left field," the guy giving the other guy "the finger." That doesn't make sense.

Why do people think parents who act coldly or like jerks must be autistic?

One thing nobody is commenting on though is, 15-20 minutes of shower flowing unnecessarily? Big waste of water!

I think we all agree these parents are crap.

People on the “low functioning” rung of the Spectrum tend to have a “thing” for water.