How can I strike better conversations?

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I have Asperger's and even as an adult I still have communication and speech issues. I am considered mild but I have a hard time with starting a conversation with most people or those I'd like to know because I over-focus or trip over certain words. I don't really have a severe speech condition, but it's noticeable to me when I think about trying to talk to somebody. The problem is that I would love to strike conversation with other people, but I have a "stuck" feeling with it. It's like my style is rough and scripted even though I understand the theory of how it's supposed to work. It's more about my delivery than everything else.

What do you like to talk about?

I feel like one of the best "ice breakers" is talking about family. Or, if a guy, talking about the local sports teams. Or, if a woman, talking about American Idol or something like that. Or vice versa.

It's a tough question to answer, because personally I struggle with it as well, and probably a lot of people on here do as well. Talking tends to be easier if you're familiar with people but getting familiar can be an uphill battle. I have a tendency to be good at cracking jokes which helps, but it can be tough if your sense of humor isn't in line with those around you, and knowing what to follow up with can be difficult. And I don't know if being yourself is an option either, though you may get lucky with that kind of tactic. And maybe simply listening and letting others talk could help as well? I think that advice was given to me once as well.

Yep....you have to seem like you're listening, even if you're not LOL

There are times when I'm a rather poor listeniner.

Here is one suggestion:

Try practicing conversations with strangers.

Many store clerks are somewhat invisible people. They provide a service and are taken for granted. Many wear name tags. For the past few years whenever I visit a grocery store or department store. I make a special note to look for the name tags. After they have waited on me I begin a simple conversation. I ask them by name "How is your day going". Many times because they are invisible, it is a bit of a shock to them. Their eyes open and a simple smile appears. They have for an instant become human. And they generally reply.

Sometimes, I come across names that I cannot pronounce. So I ask them to recite their name. That opens up more conversations. Like what is their nationality if they have an accent. From this, a whole cascade of other questions can become evident.

This is a simple way to build up your conversational skills and at the same time bring a little sunshine into another person's life.

Like Jimmy m says, its mostly a matter of practice. Pay attention to what works, and what doesn't. What is called reflective listening is important, basically paraphrasing what someone has told you occasionally during the conversation to let the other person know that you have heard and understand them.

If you are nervous about conversing, you might start by listening to other conversations on television. Noticing the natural back and forth flow of the dialog, how the characters make eye contact with each other. etc.

talk about what you're interested in. if that person seems bored or has nothing to add to the conversation then ask them what interests them, and just listen. if what interests them bores you then maybe you should find someone else to converse with. i can usually find some kind of middle ground with most people, but often times we just don't vibe well with others, and oh well. that's life.

Ask how people's day is going, and remember any ongoing dramas. Then, ask how things are turning out, next time. This is a very impressive signal. If you can't find someone you share an interest with, you can at least research someone else's interest and outlook on life.
When in doubt, get them to talk. Amazingly, someone who has nattered away at you for half an hour will then think that they know YOU better - presumably because you have not cut them off with some disagreement.
If possible, respond to questions rather than trying to lead the conversation. Keep it short. You might be able to use some stock sentences you have worked out at your leisure, working around sticky words.

https://www.wimp.com/how-to-never-run-o ... versation/