Accepting Who I Am

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I feel frustrated when a part of me wants to spend as much quality time as possible with family and friends. I get so lonely, but the sensory input of people talking, especially multiple people talking, overloads me. Although I really want to stay with my family who is visiting, I have to escape for hours at a time until the internal rage eases. Am I doing anything wrong? I want to do well hosting my elderly parents and young nieces and nephews. I want to be even around them, and the only way to do that is to take long breaks. It totally sucks that I can't just be happy spending a day with them like a regular person. I hate feeling so absent from their visit. I am trying to appreciate the times I am happy being with them. I know there is good in all this, and I keep working on acceptance. Acceptance of yourself I think is important. Besides, we are all with ourselves 24/7.

I just scream and keep going. If I have to listen to a bunch of noise, so do they.

I'd rather be with people, especially those I know well, than sit at home alone. I was by myself too long when I lacked the ability to do anything or go anywhere. I don't handle large crowds of strangers easily, but it's always worth it to me to be able to go out and do things.

Maybe more 1-1 time in quiet environment?
I can't spend time with others since I have children, I get so socially drained that any time I can afford it I want to be alone. I have some friends who accept it, even if they wish they could see me more. But they are real friends and they do notice my exhaustion.

Count your social spoons (if you don't know what it means, check here: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles ... on-theory/ ) and decide how much social time you can afford. Try to make other aspects of socialization as comfortable for you as possible. If it's an effort for you, then you need to manage your energy.