My optimist outlook on my autism isolates me.

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I have been experiencing this issue whenever I attempt to enter any kind of aspie circle. I am generally far more optimistic about my ASD than other people with an ASD. I do not view it as a disability, I turn the "disadvantages" into something advantageous and I do not care because it's who I am. I am radically self confident, and I cannot relate whatsoever to people who are insecure. I've had people with self-esteem issues come to me for advise and I just get lost in communication because there is a total disconnect to our realities. I simply don't get the experience of the neurotic and their behavior seems illogical and baffling on my end.

Back to my autism- ok so here are some common views I see people have towards their ASD, and here are mine:

Them- "I hate that I cannot succeed socially and I wish I was different.
Me- "I am not a social creature, but that's ok because I have other pursuits more worthwhile."

Them- "I wish I was not autistic because I get overwhelmed so easily."
Me- "I have super hearing which can be advantageous."

Them- "I hate that I can't talk to anybody about anything because my interest is so different."
Me- "I am glad I have an interest that is for me and not shared by everyone else, because it shows I can think for myself."

Them- "I hate that the smallest change to my routine bothers me."
Me- "My routine is a machine that gets things done, and others ought not to interrupt it."

Them- "I wish I could feel emotion like others."
Me- "Emotions in others makes them prone to bad decision making, so me not feeling it as much is good for me.

There are some others, but this is the gist of it. I feel in many ways blessed with something that allows me to be capable of individualism. I know that if I was NT I'd feel much more pressure to follow the group, but something about my ASD makes me not even feel anything for the group, it's like I'm indifferent and I play by my own rules and live in my own world and I love my life for this reason.

I'm just confused on to why some others don't share this viewpoint. Whenever I express it people act like I am patronizing or arrogant and dismiss me, and it's very isolating.

While I'm no optimist, more like.. 'More forgiving'. I feel the same to some extent. Like you, I couldn't seem to relate those who are too insecure. Yet I still have some tid bit of understanding towards those with low self-esteem and in need for reassurance.

But here's what I can see so far; the most basic tenant is "If you see one autistic, you see one autistic".

Not every autistic can afford uncertainty.
Not every autistic can afford overwhelm and chaos that sensory issues give. There are already at least over 800k+ possible combinations of these.
Not every autistic can ground themselves alone.
Not every autistic has the access of work arounds in order to turn disadvantages into advantages.
Not every autistic is apathetic about socializing, relationships and impressions.
Not every autistic that's an alexithymic (those who couldn't distinguish between emotions and sensations) and don't want to 'feel' their own emotions and other's.
Not every autistic has the dislike or the lack of worry about 'missing out'.
Not every autistic wants 'order', 'structure', 'routines'...
Not every autistic has the same priority when it comes to personal growth and life.
Not every autistic have the same circumstances and experiences.
Not every autistic has the willpower to suppress their part of being.
Definitely not every autistic wants what they 'need'.
Definitely not every autistic doesn't want to follow the notion of so-called 'normal life'.
Etc. Etc.. You get the point.


My advice? Accept autism for what it is for every individuals.
You can say your opinions and suggestions, just don't shove it into them and not take account of their own cases.
You can say things you see between your own lenses, but listen what others have to say about theirs. You'll never know, that person you couldn't supposed to relate underneath the 'neurotics' is no different from you.

If not, just accept anything that is human. Their 'needs' and worries, and your feelings of 'isolation'.

If that doesn't work, then start by finding someone who's more compatible with your view, with a more common ground and somewhat as firm as you if they bothered to. Good luck with that... Then you can start seeing differences, in circumstances and priorities. Just don't expect too much.

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I feel that autistic is who I am and resistance in the long run is futile.

While I celebrate who I am I recognize that being a small minority puts me at a large disadvantage and like any human condition autism comes with abilities and disabilities.

I do not think the first two paragraphs are incongruous. Quite the opposite, I feel if one looks at Autism as only a gift or only looks at the good parts it is only partial acceptance, for true acceptance one should not be totally optimistic or pessimistic but realistic.

Especially in today's society, people don't listen to contrary viewpoints.

What you may want to do is to socialize with people who enjoy your special interests. Perhaps post what you are doing on a special interest forum or Facebook page.

A big issue with any autism forum is that every autistic is different, so anything that works for one person won't work for someone else, if the group is sufficiently large!

I think it's great you're positive about it good outlook!

I have an optimistic outlook on autism, too. I wouldn’t stop being autistic if there was a pill for it.

It’s a large part of who I am, and I don’t want to be somebody else. I spent enough time wanting that as a teenager. I’ve learned to like and accept who I am.

I still work on things about myself that are unpleasant - like my anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping skills. But the core of who I am has largely been shaped by my neurodiversity, and I wouldn’t want to change that even though it’s added to some of the challenges in my life.

Some depression is caused by genes. Mood disorders are partially heritable, as is autism.

Some depression is caused by negative experience with little to no ability to influence the outcome - often referred to as "learned helplessness."

A child born with autism might be fortunate enough to grow up with a strong self-esteem, but I would say that is the minority. Probably good family support and good education situations have a lot to do with building self-esteem.

BUT, everybody has a choice whether to see mostly the risks or mostly the benefits, and the more successful people are the ones who see the benefits and make efforts to reach them. You can learn to be more optimistic, and believe me, it's worth the effort.

I like my interests when I can talk to like minded people. Pets and animals are a common interest shared by people with AS and NTs alike. Some of my interests are more unusual, like Denis Istomin. Few people know who he is, but he is very inspirational to me.

I like being in the company of intelligent people, autistic or NT. I want to be around people I can learn from.

I don't think alexthymia is necessarily a disorder, and may even render somebody MORE logical and ready to face the world.

I would agree with you if i didn't have to work. But executive dysfunction and different way of processing information hinders me very much at work. I can easily act social apart from that so it's no problem.

It's great you have a positive outlook, but keep in mind two things:

1) Not all autistics have the same issues, functioning etc.

2) You're only 19 and (probably) have not felt the whole weight of the world yet.

I think of my autism as both;
A disability that makes my life harder, something to be worked with and needs a lot of support
AND
It is me. I would not be me without autism, which in some manners makes it a gift.

It need not be overly optimistic and certainly not pessimistic or cynical. It just is what it is, and it's part of you the good of it and the bad of it.

I think autism is really beautiful. But certainly not easy.