I use ironic and dark humor, and I twist reality.
These are from a paper I wrote for one of my psych classes:
Quote:
It’s a good thing the horse was beautiful, because the hunter in me saw its big, muscular body and wondered if we could fit all of it in the freezer.
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However, after I healed, he kicked at me again; I thought that maybe he was still upset, so I let him cool off. After another week, on my birthday, I ran outside in excitement and jumped on his back - big mistake! He and I went on the ride of our lives! At least I will never forget that birthday, but it’s also what keeps me up at night – I can’t forget that birthday! In the end, many times I’d been: thrown off by my horse, bitten by my horse, kicked by my horse, and once terrorized by my horse. I’m not a fast learner, but I finally realized: I’m not sadistic enough to own a horse, so I got a cat.
Quote:
They focused on retraining the horses to not chew on the trainers or on the horses’ crossties – clearly a sign of masochism on the horses’ parts, and perhaps bondage on the trainers’ parts. Inadvertently, one horse increased its frequency of pawing. This shows that horses can be trained for landscaping, or if left in one area long enough, to dig a well.
This is also mine:
https://i.imgur.com/1gVwSmw.jpg... And no, I'm not schizo*.