Do you loose friendships when special interests change?

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I rarely had friends in my life. It didn't bother me. I had pets and stuffed animals to fill that void. But sometimes some well-meaning school teacher or school counselor would notice my lack of friendship and try to pair me off with the new girl in the class. For a while we shared interests, but after a while, they didn't like it anymore and we would drift apart. I'm so worried this will happen with my boyfriend someday. We've been together for almost two years, but that's about how long my friendships would last. We became friends based on the fact we want to be veterinarians, but now he's deciding he wants to study computer science. I told him he can do both. But he's all "but computers are my talent. I can still "dream" about being a vet though."

Why would anyone dream about something that is actually possible? Being a vet's no walk in the park. I suppose if one of the computers broke down, I wouldn't have to pay someone to have it fixed and he says he's willing to be a "veterinary assistant" (essentially a veterinary technician/nurse that did not go to school for it) So I guess that would work if I needed someone to help me hold onto a big snake. Or if one of the computers busted, I'd have a computer tech on hand. I don't know, I'm just so scared this relationship isn't going to last. I want to too really bad. I really like this guy. REALLY REALLY like.

But every friendship I had as a child went down the toilet....mostly when they decided they weren't interested in the same thing anymore. That's what happened with *every* facilitated friendship in grade school, and my penpal from Germany. I don't really understand the concept of having a friend who doesn't share at least one special interest. If he EVER tells me I need to stop talking about meerkats, he's toast. I've warned him about that several times. I had to put up with people telling me to stop talking about them as a kid, (and I just talked about them anyway) but I won't stand for that s**t as an adult. The most painful thing in the world for me is being told to stop talking about my special interests. He has Asperger's too and has his own special interests....which don't bore me. I could never tell him to shut up about his.

Again, I'm just worried that it will crumble like every attempt at a friendship I have ever made with another human being in my life.

Yes. I collected a very specific type of antique memorabilia for some years and belonged to a forum specific to that pursuit. I met a guy from the forum in person at his house a few times after we'd become good internet friends and he came to my house as well.

We would talk for hours only about our shared special interest with neither of us tiring of the topic. We'd bring out our collections and recount our stories of how we acquired certain pieces that were valuable finds.

He was a single man around 50 who was on disability and lived with his mother. I believe he was quite likely autistic.

I abandoned that special interest and our friendship was no longer.

Absolutely.

I was talking about that with my therapist today. We autistic find an utility in friendships. (at least I do)
When I was playing a lot of videogames I would get close to friends who had interest in playing as well, once we he was no longer playing I give up on meeting them again.

I have a related but different situation atm. I have a friend whom I've known for over 5 years who used to be very into my SI. That wasn't how we met but it was through social circles related to the SI and the SI then became the basis for our friendship. And we have alot of basic differences between us starting w/age class race gender and disability status. Nonetheless at times we were very close. I don't see her very often but it's always special when I do.

What's happened now is that she's reached a stage in her life where she's lost interest and can't and doesn't want to devote the time energy and other resources to my SI any more. At least for the foreseeable future. So I was left w/a choice basically: I could either let her go as a friend or I could try to adapt and keep in contact w/her about what her new interests goals and such were becoming as well as my SI which she's still willing to talk about. I chose the latter and I admit it's partly b/c of my age and not having alot of friends (yet). But it's also b/c I care about her as a person whatever the f her interests etc are. I value her friendship and I want her in my life so I've adapted to some extent. It's not always easy but ultimately I think it's worth the effort.

No, but my special interests have made me lose friends, because of the impulsive urge I had to talk about them to my friends, which drove them away.

Is there such a thing as an electronic medical records system for veterinarians? If not, or if the ones that already exist are crap, then perhaps he could create a better one with your guidance, and then you could help him sell it in the world of veterinarians. Sounds to me like the two of you may have the beginnings of a possibly great business partnership.

A veterinary electronic medical records system is just one possibility. Keep an eye out for other possible computer applications that don't yet exist, or at least aren't yet very good, that could make the lives of veterinarians easier.

Hopefully there will always continue to be other interests the two of you can share too, of course. In my experience too, a relationship cannot be sustained on the basis of just one special interest. There needs to be at least a few shared interests, plus overarching values and goals.

Special interests won't change because, none

Friends won't dump me, because no friends

I have been able to form friendships as a result of my interests: cats (and animals in general), tennis and music.

That's actually a great idea!