I seem to think people don't like me
I seem to sometimes take it personally if I find someone has unfriended or blocked me from social media, I feel like they hate me just because of what I say on social media, nothing more, when I haven't said it in front of them in person and I haven't done anything bad to them like committed a crime. I know I shouldn't because its not the same as in the real world but I sometimes do. It makes me feel like a bad person to them. I seem to think nearly everyone who was 'friends' has unfriended, blocked or just simply stopped talking me on it. I assume the cause was really when I used post statuses and messages on it, that were nearly always negative, statuses like 'Sigh....', 'Having a bad day' etc and sometimes if I was frustrated or angry I wrote something like 'I feel like I'm better than other people'. It does sound like it was attention seeking and I'm not really the kind of person to seek attention but I felt sometimes it was the only way to get people to talk to me and understand me. How can I stop thinking that people hate me because of being unfriended or blocked on social media?
In my experience, if you are a needy person. It takes a particular type of kind person to befriend such people.
These people are often rare and far between especially when you are young.
Some people may simply have their own problems and so are not well equipped to support someone emotionally with council.
There is an old saying in Buddhist circles, when a person is drowning, they are not in the best condition to save others who are also drowning.
There is also an old saying that most people are fair weather friends. To be honest, i do not like social media and think that it is generally a massive waste of time. For some it can also become like a false popularity contest and perhaps an activity that can lead to a type of sickness that can effect a persons mental health.
I.e. oh no i have no friends because i have no likes or friends on facebook. or is that post aimed at me?
etc. sometimes putting yourself forward to be abused, as remember that there are all sorts of types of people on the internet. some who are nice some who are not so nice.
Personally i prefer to live my life in the real world when it comes to friends.
If anything specialist forums like this are perhaps a better place to make friends.
I wouldn't worry about the whole social media thing. I don't use it at all. Dont miss it.
dyadiccounterpoint
Velociraptor
Joined: 31 Jan 2019
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 464
Location: Nashville
There are a few things that have made me upset at others on something like Facebook.
I felt extremely disconnected from my "friends" after I got very little interaction after posting some of my compositions. I understood later that no one listened because it required too much effort to load the sheet music and press play. I put a lot of effort and hours into them and they were emotionally significant to me. I felt like someone who couldn't be bothered to even check it out wasn't really my friend because music is incredibly important to my sense of purpose and identity. You'd know that if you were my "friend." They weren't amazing or brilliant pieces, but I felt severely disregarded.
I also use social media from a desktop almost exclusively. This makes me long winded relative to others, which causes disengagement because reading and responding to me requires too much effort.
I also strongly enjoy political banter. I feel more connected to you if we can talk about politics. I like to aggressively debate others, and I am disheartened that so many people take it like you don't like them because you're arguing with them. I had one cousin delete me recently simply because I asked her a reasonable question regarding her position on abortion. She took it bitterly.
I also tend to not post emotional updates which I notice is typically how one gets engagement from their friends. I don't tell you about my day or how I'm feeling.
I think more about repurposing my Facebook for utility and just playing the game others do to build my social capital.
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We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society - Alan Watts
Hahaha! I TOTALLY feel you on that! Although to be fair, I haven't been on here too long and in the decade I've been on FB I've gotten into lots of arguments on there, many of which were my fault.
People on FB generally don't want to see negative statuses. It can come across as whining. It's better to put some substance in a post, EX: "Today was such a bad day. My car broke down and my dog ran away. I sure hope things get better."
This is better than saying, "Nobody likes me and my car broke down leaving me stranded. On top of that my dog ran away. Boy life sure stinks."
In social media land, people don't care if you are feeling bad nor do they care that you had such great fun with your smiley friends.
I also try to avoid political discussion, though sometimes I can't help putting in my two cents which usually pulls me into a heated discussion. People seem to think it's ok to insult people who disagree. I have lost friends as a result of political fights. It's sad because it's not necessary. They shouldn't get so serious. Even if people have repulsive views I try to discuss with reason and civility. But people don't want logic and the anonymity of the web makes them feel empowered to attack. I have had some friends who I lost on FB or thought the relationship had become strained only to meet them in person and they are nice to me.
I get more responses on FB by posting pics of my family, my garden, my cats, something of real significance I'm celebrating. Don't take FB too seriously. People unfriend for various reasons.
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I am a trained monkey. Watch! I do tricks.
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