Worst or Weirdest Piece(s) of Advice You’ve Been Given

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TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 7:52 am

This is kind of a random topic, but I figured that since most of us don’t blend seamlessly into society we might be more prone to strange advice than most people.

My favorite piece of advice that I’ve ever been given came from my piano teacher when I was 15. Completely out of the blue, she told me that I should marry a rich husband. Based on my interests, I reminded her of young girls from the Victorian era, so she thought that I should marry a rich man to enable me to fully devote my time, energy, and some money to honing my skill on the piano, reading, crocheting, weaving, training my birds, and sketching a little.



Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 8:39 am

My mum and I drove up to the town which is about 16 miles from here... Maybe 17. She wanted to buy a jar of Marmite. There was one of those adverts that scroll round on a billboard thing... The type that has rollers and turns to display one advert or the other one behind it. The advert came up which was a picture of Marmite in a jar and across the advert were the words "Don't get the Marmite". So we didn't and drove home.
No idea why it said that...



Fnord
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04 Jun 2019, 8:44 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
... My favorite piece of advice that I’ve ever been given came from my piano teacher when I was 15. Completely out of the blue, she told me that I should marry a rich husband. Based on my interests, I reminded her of young girls from the Victorian era, so she thought that I should marry a rich man to enable me to fully devote my time, energy, and some money to honing my skill on the piano, reading, crocheting, weaving, training my birds, and sketching a little.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, in Pride and Prejudice, 1813

Methinks thy pianoforte teacher wast overly inclined to romantic thought.


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Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 9:08 am

Once as I had low blood pressure as I used to cycle between 100 and 250 miles a week on a regular basis, a doctor told me to eat as much junk food as I could.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 9:18 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Once as I had low blood pressure as I used to cycle between 100 and 250 miles a week on a regular basis, a doctor told me to eat as much junk food as I could.


That’s some advice I could live by!



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 9:23 am

Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
... My favorite piece of advice that I’ve ever been given came from my piano teacher when I was 15. Completely out of the blue, she told me that I should marry a rich husband. Based on my interests, I reminded her of young girls from the Victorian era, so she thought that I should marry a rich man to enable me to fully devote my time, energy, and some money to honing my skill on the piano, reading, crocheting, weaving, training my birds, and sketching a little.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, in Pride and Prejudice, 1813

Methinks thy pianoforte teacher wast overly inclined to romantic thought.


She was a lovely person.

She lived for sublime experiences and believed that they connected her with the divine. Definitely a Romantic!

When she gave me the advice, she was in her 80’s and could get away with saying such things. I’m glad she said it because it’s a good memory.



Mountain Goat
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04 Jun 2019, 9:39 am

If I find a rich single man who is well mannered, kind and loving I will let you know... :D



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 9:54 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
If I find a rich single man who is well mannered, kind and loving I will let you know... :D


Thanks! :P



lostonearth35
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04 Jun 2019, 10:04 am

I don't know if any advice I've received was weird, but it definitely was bad:

"Toys and stuffed animals are junk and you should be spending your allowance on things a girl your age is supposed to want."

"You need to be interested in other things besides drawing cartoons. You're being like a baby who learns to crawl but doesn't think it needs to walk because it's so good at crawling" - Told to me by a therapist.

"You shouldn't be having any problems being in a classroom full of other kids."

"You need to be more social."

"If you're feeling like this, you should check into the hospital". - Told to me by a psychiatrist. It was his answer to anything that was bothering me so I just stopped telling him anything, and all they want you to tell them is that you're still taking their drugs, anyway. :x

"There is no excuse for your behavior. You're not special. You're just like all the other kids in class."

"Just ignore them and they'll stop teasing you."



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04 Jun 2019, 10:34 am

Best advice:

From my tennis instructor: Have an indoor life (reading, learning) and an outdoor (active) life. Have a well-rounded life and follow your passions.

Worst:

From numerous school psychologists: I don't think you would be comfortable doing that, referring to whatever I wanted to do with my life. They thought I was too shy and lacking confidence to ever succeed, even though they had to grudgingly admit I wasn't stupid based on my grades. Yes, there were things I wasn't comfortable doing until I got into the groove. I was never really allowed before to establish a groove that would have led to greater independence.



Fnord
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04 Jun 2019, 10:36 am

"You need to be more social" strikes a nerve. I used to hear this from my parents and teachers a lot.

Yeah, eventually I learned how to put on the act: Smile, nod, make eye contact, speak only one sentence at a time, say nothing controversial, laugh when others laugh, and stay away from contentious people. I think it was in my 30s.

But why should I? Why do I need to suck up to the people who ignore me? Why do I need to greet people who would never greet me first? Why can't I just be left alone with my books and drawings?


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IstominFan
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04 Jun 2019, 10:41 am

A better way of saying, "You need to be social," which is too broad, would be to say, "What are you interested in or passionate about? You can make social connections by finding other people of like mind." I have made friends through an internet cat site, tennis, Toastmasters and church activities. It also helps that I have found many fellow cat/animal lovers in all of these places.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 10:57 am

Referring to social stuff, I frequently heard: “You need to try harder.”

It was awful because I was trying my best but those words were just a reminder that my best wasn’t good enough; I wasn’t good enough.

Pushing myself so hard with so little in return was very detrimental to my mental health.



mapetitemelancholie
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04 Jun 2019, 10:58 am



IstominFan
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05 Jun 2019, 9:34 am

Twilightprincess,

You are right. It's very frustrating to work hard for little gain.



TwilightPrincess
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05 Jun 2019, 9:40 am

IstominFan wrote:
Twilightprincess,

You are right. It's very frustrating to work hard for little gain.


Yeah, and to get burn-out in the process.

It’s hard for many on the spectrum to grow up in environments with such high social expectations.