When people ask "do you have some sort of problem"??

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Like, in a stinging, rebuking hostile way, "Do you have some sort of problem?!?!"
(Or, in some cases, a bemused or belittling way...)
How do you typically reply?
I get this much less and less as I've gotten into my 40s, masking symptoms since my diagnosis later in my 20s from mirror-practice and reading up has certainly helped...I think the last time I got this remark was in my early 20s. Because let's face it, it's more of a remark or rhetorical question, than a question they actually want an answer to - they'd much rather you don't confirm the existence of any taboo psychiatric disorders. They're just pissed off and frustrated with you at that point. Like, why would somebody be seeking clarification to "obvious" situational subtext or emotional nuance or common sense etiquette or what have you...

AT the time, before I was diagnosed with HFA/ASD (the "experts" in the 80s and 90s told me it was ADHD combined with social anxiety disorder and mild Tourettes ), I'd simply reply "Oh! I didn't intend to cause any problem, I'm sorry if you thought that was the case, but it's not." They'd still regard me with suspicion, bemusement, and a look of "woo-ooo-ooo! somebody escaped from the loony asylum" - if I were hypothetically to get that remark today, I'd reply "no, I just have high standards for things making sense" and if I was feeling extra gutsy, I'd top it off with "which is a virtue in my unbiased opinion". Yeah, it sounds passive-aggressive, but for some asshat making a remark like that...it's all they really deserve in return.

My response would be, "Do I know you?"

you aren't obligated to answer personal questions from strangers...especially hostile ones.

Many people at my old Catholic church did this to me a lot by giving me the "stink eye" and acting as if they were better than anyone else around them such as people on the spectrum.

Such behavior from fellow worshippers made me feel angry, disillusioned, and anything of the sort. It seemed as if I was in high school all over again so about 18 months ago, I left my old church in favor of a nearby Catholic church and I have not regretted my decision since.

I've confronted with this a few times now.


I either;

Don't react. Because they don't need to know.
Or..
Give them an angry look, growl maybe yell or harshly whisper and say "Humans" in translation -- that doesn't mean people though, I meant people AND myself. Then likely walk away regardless of their protest.

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You could always use the old line
"you talking to me?..... i don't see no one else here?"...

Everyone has problems, but when precious lil "people" ask that question, they are condescending and judgmental. They don't want to know if you have a problem. They don't have the authority or skill to repair your problems


Rhetorical question

“My problem is you!”

In recent years I've discovered the all-purpose use of "Why?"
Most people blush and change the subject.

Those who try to answer get,
"What do you mean by that?"
"Where did you get that idea?"
"Are you serious?"
<repeat>
Of course, this sort of thing is only if you have time for a little power-trip.
Don't forget to stand too close.
Speak to their eyebrows.
Wait 5 seconds before answering them.

Best of all: look at your watch, say "Oops, gotta go" and go.

Good luck!

Hate to be a contrarian here, but I'm so good at it...I really dislike power tripping, by others, so that means I probably do it too much. So here's how I try to fix things like this.

"What's going on with you?" Spoken or unspoken.

Usually I answer, "yes, I'm sorry about that. This is not going to be one of my good days."
"Why's that?"
"I'm on the autism spectrum. It's usually pretty easy to conceal but it will out, sometimes."
"Oh, I'm sorry--"
"Never mind. It wasn't you saying THAT about the eighties hits medley on the public address system while I was taking an order over the telephone and trying to deal with two people at the counter, one of whom is something of a fuss-budget, and remembering that the lady who just walked out the door got the wrong order of chicken by accident because I was trying to remember what the guy over there just ordered from the bakery case."

This leads to human interactions and conversations. And a little better understanding of neurodiversity. Also, I learn how to work more like a neurotypical while keeping up my Aspie skills (I can rebuild the motor of a c.1902 to 1911 Edison cylinder phonograph in under two hours, from a hunk of junk to a good-running player, if I have all the right parts, good oil, and a gallon of kerosene.) It's better than hiding--which I used to do.

People don't mean to be rude all the time, and neither do I. But I am as rude as them. It's always nicer to drop this and go for etiquette, civility, and charity whenever possible. Judith Martin's "Miss Manners" books are wonderful for this. Lots of Aspie-friendly rules and good advice on how to make civility great for everyone involved.

Hope this helps!

Charles

Everyone has problems




Everyone has something wrong with them

Precious lil "people" that act like they are perfect, are the most f****d up

Everyone is going to drop dead

Everyone has bacteria. f**k wrestling coach Greg lines . f**k azzia walker