Obsessed with ASD, curious about my similarities

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New here. I recently began reading (obsessing) about ASD and noticed that many of the traits fit my own life. I've had a fairly easy life, so I really doubt I would qualify for a diagnosis. Since I'm utterly fascinated by the topic I'm still be very curious to hear your opinion. Here are some examples related specifically to social interactions.


Pro NT:
-Grew up an only child, but had no issues playing with random children at local playgrounds.
-Made my first friends in kindergarten without much problems.
-In elementary school I had many friends and several girlfriends.
-In junior high school I was friends with just about everyone popular in school, invited to all the parties, never bullied or had trouble getting along with anyone.
-Have a big group of friends that was gradually built through elementary/junior high school. We all still hang out and party regularly.
-I don't have any issues with speech, facial expressions, posture or gesture.

Pro ASD:
-I've always preferred to be alone most of the time, and need to be alone often. There is no question I'm introverted, and maybe it's that simple. But I feel like there is more to it.
-Curtains are always closed at home. I don't like seeing people, or them seeing me.
-Girls stopped being interested in me romantically around puberty. I had to read about theories and models many years later on interactions between the sexes before things improved.
-At 15 years of age I began to withdraw from society more and more. But came back somewhere in my 20's when I realized that just being myself wasn't working.
-I've had women in my bed with me, drunk and naked, yet I still wasn't sure what they really wanted...
-I despise family gatherings and always have. It's all boring small talk with people I have no common interests with.
-I don't place any value in traditions, rituals, gift giving or certain weird "manners" like not wearing hats inside etc.
-Besides my friends group that kind of evolved by itself, I've only made 2 proper friends separatly. We share movies as our main interest (or special interest if you will).
-Eye contact is difficult. Though no one has ever complained, so apparently I fool most people.
-I'm very blunt and regularly cross the line of what is appropriate to say. Though I always mean well.
-I used to overshare a lot and people have to explicitly tell me when something is a secret.
-Feel like people don't understand me, and that I don't understand them.
-Have some social anxiety, used to have much more. Doing anything new with people around me is still very stressful.
-I feel like the whole spectrum of what to do in social situations is a abstract clutter in my head, that I'm trying to mold into categories, with sub-categories and rules that constantly needs calibration.
-If I'm not with my girlfriend or friends in a social situation, then alcohol is basically necessary to have fun.

Any thoughts? These are just some of the social issues. But on that alone, am I approaching ASD territory, or just an NT introvert?

Last edited by GreatApe on 20 Jun 2019, 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You are old enough to seek the opinions of appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professionals on your own. I suggest you do exactly that. No one on this website is capable of rendering an accurate and valid diagnosis.

I appreciate that, but I don't want to take time from the professionals, and let some poor person who is struggling be that much longer on a waiting list. Not sure I really need a proper diagnosis. Except to calm my intellectual curiosity.

If anyone would diagnose me with ASD, I suspect it be so close to the limit that it would probably be guesswork and random depending on which professional I happen to get. But I could be delusional. Which is why I'm asking here.

It was more than just behaviors for me. There was the neurocognitive component that sort of put the seal on all the other stuff.

This is all new to me, so I don't yet possess the vast experience of others here. I spent an exhausting 45 years not knowing what was really going on, only that something was going on. Trying to blend in, failing. When I finally went (was forced) to get neurocognitive/neuropsych testing because I was sorely lacking in social graces, kept telling people to 'quit, go away, etc.' And they thought I was Bipolar... I had listed some things about myself. Based on that the psychologist whipped out a bunch of tests and Bob's your uncle.

Nobody can say for sure most isn't as typical or atypical. You problems may be caused just by your problems with eye contact that also some NTs with low self-confidence have. Once you don't get the feelings of other people by feeling the same way that they do it may be Asperger's and you may be unaware that empathy exists and other people sense your feelings this way. But to get over your problems learn eye contact first (see viewtopic.php?f=3&t=368901&start=30#p8054848 ) and do something to improve your self-confidence which always expresses in your body language. You are judged by other people because of that.

Last edited by quite an extreme on 20 Jun 2019, 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think it's ASD, but that's just my opinion. You could be PDD-NOS, or maybe you have some other disorder like ADHD or something.

Tony Attwood is a good source of information

https://www.tonyattwood.com.au/about-aspergers

Hi GreatApe. I like your username.
To have ASD you have to have been born with it.
It would be helpful to ask your parents or siblings or other relatives about your early childhood.

Also you should read the DSM entry for autism spectrum disorder.

Much of what used to be called PDD-NOS is now part of what is now called ASD.

A lot of autistic people have problems with eye contact that are NOT due merely to low self-confidence. As noted in the thread you linked to, for me it's an attention-splitting issue. Others find it to be outright physically painful. Don't assume that all people with ASD can "learn eye contact."

There are some online quizzes you can take that may help give you an idea. Just like anyone's opinion on here, they won't be a diagnosis, but they may help ease your mind.

My thought is that a lot of what you mentioned could be introversion and/or some social anxiety. Maybe look up autism, social anxiety, and introversion and see what you think.

My final suggestion would be to use this website as a way to glean tips/find people with shared experiences for the parts of you that seem more on the ASD side, but not worry about a label unless you are having significant life difficulties and think a diagnosis might help (i.e. you need special help/concessions to keep your job or something). Just make sure you let people know when you post replies that you aren't diagnosed. People like to know where you're coming from.

I've been obsessed with ASD for a good 6 months and read tons. Watched just about every youtube video there is, parts of several books and documentaris etc.

The tests Autism Spectrum Quotient, Empathy Quotient, RAAD-S and Systemizing Quotient all place me in the ASD category.

So things are definitely pointing in that direction.

But I've never heard of ASD children being able to play with random children in playgrounds, have friends and girlfriends in elementary school and be one of the popular ones in middle school? It dropped off in high school though. But still. This is the biggest counter I have to ASD. So I guess my question is, have any of you seen a similar example? Is this possible for someone with ASD? Every example I read about talks about being bullied and having almost no friends in childhood.

First of all it's a trust issue. You get others emotions anxieties and partly their thoughts as well as others get you. You are emotionally naked. You don't wan't to be disliked hated or otherwise rejected. And you can't fool others about yourself and your feelings towards them. Because of this you don't do it towards people that you don't trust or dislike except that you want a direct confrontation. There is even more because it establishs kind of an empathical connection and others that you like may even hurt your emotions by showing that they dislike you.
Because of this you have to feel good about others and should skip any negative thoughts before doing it. Otherwise the other gets your negative thoughts or feelings about him and feels bad towards you as you do towards him. I wouldn't do eye contact towards people I dislike except for letting them know and may be starting a fight.

Once you aren't as far on the spectrum it's possible. Do you realize the feelings of other people especially women immediately by feeling the way that they feel beside of just seeing their facial expressions?

You give several examples of social behaviours that would not place you on the spectrum, and a few that could point in that direction. What about restricted and repetitive behaviours? Do you have sensory issues with sound, light, touch, etc.? Do you have stimming behaviours, routines or rituals that you have to follow to ease anxiety? Are you bothered by changes in your routine or environment, or perform tasks repetitively as a source of amusement or comfort?

From your OP, I would be inclined to think you're just an introvert. Many people have difficulty telling what others want from them from time to time, and I suspect there are plenty who don't enjoy family gatherings and inane conversation.

I have ASD but I didn't have trouble playing with other children in playgrounds.
A lot of NTs don't have girlfriends or boyfriends in elementary school. When I was that age most of the boys thought girls were 'repulsive'. Even at high school it's not unusual to not have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Having friends and being popular is probably the thing that most Aspies typically struggle with. But my brother used to hang out with the popular kids all through school, and had a big crowd he often spent time with and he was accepted, and he was diagnosed with AS earlier this year (he's in his 30s).