How to stop masking?

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Hey there everybody,
I'm a 22yo university student on the spectrum. I came to a realization that masking is terrible for me but I don't really know how to stop. I'm a stimmer, I stim a lot but people used to make me forcefully stop when I stim. Now I try to repress stimming. My anxiety is getting worse, it is affecting me physically. I get so exhausted everyday. I have very bad headaches all the time. I think over every step I take so that I would appear normal. People still think I'm weird so there is no use in masking. I wanna let go for my own benefit but I don't know where to start. Every passing day is a huge labour and sacrifice

I know how you feel, I tend to mask too. The best way to stop is to talk with family or friends, never try to be "normal" what you should do is be yourself because if you try to be "normal" you'll forget to take care of yourself in both your mental and physical way.

If you don't have someone to talk to, you know people are always around you, on social media, websites, physically there, and with you but in another area. Unmasking isn't easy, it's like an addiction...but the thing you can do is be as busy as possible by doing new things and exploring your surroundings. I'm still working on unmasking, but my progress is doing me good, the first step is to solve problems after having fun and being yourself until you need to take things seriously.

I hope this helps.

I'm in therapy to learn how to better self-regulate my behavior/stress levels. For me that means re-learning that stimming is ok. I was forcibly stopped from stimming and have Mental health issues as a direct result.

Of course there are many options on how to get help, I would try and search for places and their websites to get reviews if you want therapy or counseling. Just take a few breaks here and there and just be there for you, and only you. Try not to think what others think, everyone is special in their own ways.

I would start "unmasking" in steps maybe...like first, start when you are in private. Every time you catch yourself stopping yourself from stimming, remind yourself you let it all out. Once you have normalized your stimming and other natural behavior in private, figure out the next step for you...for some, that may be your family/close friends, but for others it could be at the library among strangers. Keep going until you feel healthier.

There may still be times you find masking or redirecting stims beneficial (like maybe avoiding auditory/spoken stims during class, a presentation at work, church service, etc. and replace them with something quieter like rocking or twirling your hair), but if you reintroduce them to most of your life, that may take the pressure off.

Yeah! I agree with PoseyBuster88! She makes a great point, I wouldn't have made it sound better myself!

Nicely done.

An extrovert is an expert in the social graces. Many times the term "masking" is actually better describes as "social masking". It is trying to blend in socially into society.

But in the real world not everyone is an extrovert. Approximately 50% of the population are introverts and the other 50% are extroverts. No one accuses introverts of being somehow defective or suggest they need therapy to become extroverts. Generally introverts are happy being introverts and extroverts are happy being extroverts.

Those Aspies that practice social masking generally feel significant stress and this stress builds up over the years. My personality type is an introvert and I wear an introvert mask and there is minimal stress. I have been doing it for 70 years. In a sense rather than conforming to societies norms I let society conform to mine. And in general, society actually does, strangely enough.

If stimming is a problem, transition these to other forms of stimming that are almost invisible, if you are able. Or save the stimming when you are back at home.