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jimmy m
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22 Jun 2019, 8:03 am

I had many dogs during my lifetime. Most of these I obtained when they were puppies. When I pick them up and gaze into their puppy eyes, I immediately sense a form of affection. I gaze into their eyes and a type of bonding occurs, it melts my heart.

I came across an article yesterday that referenced an interesting study. So I tracked it down today. It is called Oxytocin-gaze positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds by Miho Nagasawa et. al.. Here is a link: https://science.sciencemag.org/content/348/6232/333

The study shows that "gazing behavior from dogs, but not wolves, increased urinary oxytocin concentrations in owners, which consequently facilitated owners’ affiliation and increased oxytocin concentration in dogs. Further, nasally administered oxytocin increased gazing behavior in dogs, which in turn increased urinary oxytocin concentrations in owners. These findings support the existence of an interspecies oxytocin-mediated positive loop facilitated and modulated by gazing, which may have supported the coevolution of human-dog bonding by engaging common modes of communicating social attachment."

In other words gazing into a puppy's eyes sets off a hormonal chain both in a human and a puppy that produces a bonding experience.

One of the differences between NTs and Aspies is that Aspies do not make very good eye contact. In other words when I do not gaze into someones eyes I am defeating a common instinctive trait used by NTs to bond with other NTs. I do not trigger a release an oxytocin hormonal chain that signals to them that I am friendly.


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quite an extreme
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22 Jun 2019, 8:17 am

jimmy m wrote:
One of the differences between NTs and Aspies is that Aspies do not make very good eye contact. In other words when I do not gaze into someones eyes I am defeating a common instinctive trait used by NTs to bond with other NTs. I do not trigger a release an oxytocin hormonal chain that signals to them that I am friendly.


Kind of but it's more a trust issue. People sense your emotions towards them once they are looking in your eyes. People who feel bad about others or sometimes also for themself do prevent eyecontact. Once you prevent eyecontact totally (even a short time while reaching the hand) they will simply distrust you. For this is learning eye contact and shaking hands firmly nearly the most important thing for making new friends.

By the way women are sometimes differently. They may even crush in case of eye contact and a nice smile so as I do. May be it's what you mean.


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jimmy m
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22 Jun 2019, 9:22 am

That even might explain another mystery of life.

When I was in college, I had a girl who took pity on me and showed me how to kiss. She was from South America and the girls there are much more adept in that area. She explained to me all the different types of kissing such as the simple kiss, the French kiss, the truly romantic kiss, the kiss that leaves a mark (Hickey Kiss) and we practiced each technique. She even showed me a kiss where you lock your teeth and jaws together. I didn't like that kiss very much.

But the most important kiss of all was the truly romantic kiss. The secret is that it is all done with the eyes. First you need to be alone and remain perfectly quiet. You need to look deep within their eyes until you can see the shadow of their soul, then you slowly move your faces together without breaking eye contact. And then kiss the girl on her lips. She demonstrated the technique and I could see her point. I would have never known, not in a million years.

I had seen this type of kiss accurately portrayed in a film once. The name of the movie was "Kids".

I remember that type of kiss, the truly romantic kiss. It was very profound. Even though fifty years have passed. So when we kissed, it released an oxytocin hormonal chain which triggered a mutural strong bonding experience. Now I understand why it was truly romantic.


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IstominFan
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22 Jun 2019, 9:26 am

That locked teeth kiss doesn't sound like fun. I'm reminded of the joke where an orthodontist had to come to the house to unlock two teenagers' braces.



jimmy m
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22 Jun 2019, 10:31 am

IstominFan wrote:
That locked teeth kiss doesn't sound like fun. I'm reminded of the joke where an orthodontist had to come to the house to unlock two teenagers' braces.


Yeah! I would never do that again.


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Exuvian
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22 Jun 2019, 12:09 pm

I wonder if anyone has ever attempted to explain why it's so much easier to look at non-human eyes. At least for me it is. :cat:



quite an extreme
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22 Jun 2019, 12:25 pm

Exuvian wrote:
I wonder if anyone has ever attempted to explain why it's so much easier to look at non-human eyes. At least for me it is. :cat:

It's just because you don't get their emotions. Did you ever look straight into the eyes of a cat? (Cats rarely do this of course. :mrgreen: )


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TwilightPrincess
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22 Jun 2019, 12:31 pm

Exuvian wrote:
I wonder if anyone has ever attempted to explain why it's so much easier to look at non-human eyes. At least for me it is. :cat:


I think it’s because there are no social expectations or judgement attached to it. My dog and I just made eye contact a moment ago. It was a friendly acknowledgement of each other’s presence. I didn’t have to consider what I should be saying or what facial expression I should be exhibiting.

There’s no pressure attached to it (unless she’s trying to let me know that she has to go potty and I have to take her out :P ).



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22 Jun 2019, 12:33 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
Exuvian wrote:
I wonder if anyone has ever attempted to explain why it's so much easier to look at non-human eyes. At least for me it is. :cat:

It's just because you don't get their emotions. Did you ever look straight into the eyes of a cat? (Cats rarely do this of course. :mrgreen: )


I think it’s easier to read an animal’s emotions because they aren’t as complex.



jimmy m
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22 Jun 2019, 1:36 pm

I had a female Boxer and my cat died. So I took in a little kitten. It was really small, maybe too small and hadn't been weaned. My dog was very big. It could kill the kitten in one quick bite. And I think the kitten knew this. So I do what I normally do, I introduced them. I let the dog sniff the cat and the cat come in close contact with the dog in a controlled manner. I pet the cat and then the dog, mixing their scents. Eventually, their inherited animosity fades away.

But this cat was very young and very afraid. It would find a corner and cry. Somehow the dog sensed this need and would let the kitten approach it and cuddle. Eventually the dog let the kitten nurse the dog, almost as if the dog adopted the kitten as her own puppy. It was strange to watch. But the dog was very embarrassed about this. And whenever I tried to approach the dog while she was doing this (in order to film it), she immediately stood up and walked away, like she felt shame.


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Prometheus18
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22 Jun 2019, 2:49 pm

I was expecting cute puppy pictures :(



Wolfram87
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22 Jun 2019, 3:59 pm

Prometheus18 wrote:
I was expecting cute puppy pictures :(


No! Kneel before cat!

Image


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Prometheus18
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22 Jun 2019, 4:01 pm

I do like cats, but prefer dogs. A darker cat would have been better.



Wolfram87
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22 Jun 2019, 4:12 pm

Image


...fine



Image


Image


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248RPA
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22 Jun 2019, 4:15 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
Did you ever look straight into the eyes of a cat?

Or the eyes of a goat?
Image

Or a cuttlefish?
Image


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Prometheus18
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22 Jun 2019, 4:19 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
Image


...fine



Image


Image

:heart: :heart: :heart: