Anybody here embarrassed to tell people you have ASD?

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I was just wondering if anyone else here with a diagnosis of ASD have a problem accepting their condition and avoid telling other people that you have it.
I've always been embarrassed about it, and I think it's a mixture of guilt, shame and resentfulness. It's always made me feel 'broken', and singled out from the other people. I suppose society doesn't help either, when you are misunderstood and under pressure to be 'normal'.

I'm OK talking about it on WP because it's anonymous (which is why I don't post pictures of myself here), but I just cannot bring myself to face a friend and say "I have ASD". Maybe the stigma attached to autism that gets thrown about in the media puts me off telling people too, like when murderers claim they have autism in court, or sites like the "heartlessaspergers" s**t written by angry NTs in such a convincing way.

But my feelings about having ASD are mostly about guilt and shame. I won't go all into my life story, but I was diagnosed at 8 and I've never been able to properly accept it, even now, 20+ years later. It still eats me up inside, and I prefer to keep it a secret to anybody who wasn't told I have it. I just don't want to feel defined by it, and luckily my ASD is too complex and masked to notice by other people.

Does anyone else feel this way? Do you feel like your ASD makes you feel guilty for who you are, even though you know that ASD isn't a bad thing?

I used to care when I was younger but these days I mostly hang out with other Aspies or people on the Autistic spectrum, so they don't really judge me or care. Most NTs are too much hard work and I don't have the patience for it as I get older.

Not knowing if I am on the spectrum or not I don't know what to say.

Something I think is cool. If I am assessed and found to be on thw spectrum, I can tell people in a way that makes it space age... "Spectrum"... Like the James Bond bad guys... Haha!

Ok. You guys can carry on chatting. Ignore my humour! But the truth is, should I say or not if I am? It is hard foe me not to say as I am a very open person.

Only cos of how people view it as stereotypes. Not always negative. I don't want people thinking I'm good at maths or enjoy train spotting or whatever.

I say it as 'it's just how my mind works' instead, to explain my quirks. And they know I have a disability with my eyes that makes my eyes sensitive.

And they know the positive sides of my AS too like my memory etc. They see it all as me.

It helps that I'm in a liberal place which likes quirky people. Maybe some of the ones who work with autistic people know I'm autistic.

In the past I told a boss I was autistic after someone said I was 'different' (a close minded village. I'm bi and didn't come out there but there's no getting around being aspie) He kept talking about this stranger I didn't know but he did and talking about 'well that's what they're like' whenever I did something.

I wouldn't say embarrassed, but I don't tend to tell people. Mostly because they tend to get the wrong idea about me, or will expect me to behave a certain way, or be some kind of savant or something. I've told a few people I am close to, but I don't treat it as public information.

Being told that you are different from other kids at the age of 8 must have been hard, especially if there aren't any other autistic people in the family.

As someone diagnosed later on in life, I'd rather others knew, that way if I don't get their jokes or meaning straight away they can put it down to the autism.

I don't feel guilty or embarrassed but my anxiety tells me to keep quiet as it believes my diagnosis could be used against me as if I'm revealing my 'Achilles' heel'

Not at all.

I'm not embarrassed by it, but I wouldn't want to jeopardize my future employment opportunities by disclosing such a diagnosis.

Wasn't diagnosed until middle age a few years ago.

The effect of the diagnosis was the exact opposite of everything you said...it was the Elimination of shame and embarrassment.

Not that I go around blabbing about having aspergers to folks who don't need to know. But "shame" and all of that?

Already had a lifetime of that without the diagnosis.

And that's exactly what you need to realize. If you have a club foot its gonna impede you in your life whether a doctor labels you as having a club foot or not.

I don’t tell a stranger that I have it because most people don’t know that much about it, and I don’t really talk to strangers about myself much, anyway. I’m pretty private when it comes to talking about my personal life.

All of my relatives and acquaintances know, though. My parents have told people so they could use it as an excuse for my lack of religiousness. It’s annoying because it’s furthering a bad attitude towards autism. Oh well.

I'm not embarrassed, I am afraid. I live in a small town, if others tell potential employers I have autism, they may be unwilling to hire me. They would never admit to it, of course. But, they would just always find a reason why another candidate was better suited.

Like most folks above I am puzzled as to why you would habitually "tell' folks that you have autism.

But like most folks above its not because of "embarrassment", but because its only rarely any of their business, and there are practical reason to not blab about it.

I must be the only one who feels ashamed about it then.

But when I meant telling people, I meant people like co-workers, friends and even your partner.
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I've been living with him for about 18 months, but I haven't told him I have ASD. For some weird reason my ASD doesn't seem to interfere with relationships. I'm very open about my feelings, good at listening, very affectionate and understanding, loyal, and don't have trouble communicating. He's figured out my anxiety, and I told him about my ADHD, but I just cannot say about my ASD. I don't think he knows much about ASD anyway, and if one day he did suspect anything, I could say I was never diagnosed or didn't realise I had it. But telling him I have a diagnosis from childhood just makes it sound more serious, because most people with high-functioning Asperger's, particularly girls, don't get diagnosed until adulthood.

When I was younger I used to think that every person on the spectrum got a diagnosis before adulthood, because I did, and I didn't know any other Aspies until I left school.