Do I have Autism?

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New situations frighten me. I do not do well with new situations at all. Whenever I drive, everything is so bright and it's a total haze. I have been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia by my psychiatrist, but I suspect I might also have Autism. I am afraid to drive behind a school bus with kids in it, because I don't know how to act if they look at me or try to engage me. Is this Autism? Here's an example. One time I was driving behind a school bus full of kids, they were maybe elementary school kids. One kid sitting in the back of the bus started making a gesture at me; he was pretending to be a monster. I felt like he was attacking me. Maybe that part was my paranoid schizophrenia. Then other kids sitting in the back of the bus started looking at me too. So I waved at them. They were then ecstatic and surprised that I did that. They started waving at me excitedly. I waved again, and that surprised them even more. Then I did not know what to do next, so I pointed and pretended to laugh at them. Then the kid who was pretending to be a monster did the same to me. It was bad. I did not know how to act. It was also extremely overwhelming for me. I also feel like I am very transparent. One time I was in a checkout lane in the grocery store, and the cashier ringing up my order commented on how readable I was. Is this a symptom of Autism? I know I have paranoid schizophrenia, but I think I might also have Autism. I have never been diagnosed with Autism, but I feel socially awkward an awful lot. And when I drive I'm pretty sure I have sensory overload; everything is so bright and intense; it's a total haze. Are these symptoms of Autism? Again, new situations scare the hell out of me.

Last edited by savavdpeas on 01 Jul 2019, 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

On second thought, maybe I don't have Autism. In the past I have told my therapists that I think I have Autism. They would then jokingly say, "Okay, so you have Autism." Then, out of nowhere, I would manifest symptoms of Autism. I would feel extremely objective. I would also then start to talk less or not talk at all. The therapist would then laugh at me, and I would then say that I don't think I have Autism, and I would resume my paranoid expatiation. I can also tell from my original post of this thread that I don't have Autism. But who knows? Maybe I am somewhere on the spectrum. And maybe it varies? I definitely get extremely stressed whenever I run errands in public. And not to mention the constant haze while driving. But maybe it is something I will have to master on my own. Maybe the reason why it's so stressful for me is because I don't run errands every day. Or maybe if I had a job that I went to every day, it would not be so stressful for me. It would probably still be stressful in the beginning; but after that I would probably develop ways of dealing with it better. That being said, maybe I need to forget the whole notion that I "may" have Autism, and just get a job and suck it up. I don't have Autism. Or do I? Sometimes loud noises or loud talking really bother me. A lot of the time they will sound extra sharp to me. I'm not sure what that is a symptom of...maybe ASD? Or maybe my Paranoid Schizophrenia.

My son and I both have Aspergers. This morning he was commenting to me about how he found new or unexpected circumstances very unsettling. I suggested that he was just extra cautious and that was not a very negative characteristics (some might even call it prudence).

The neurological configuration that produces Aspergers might be a result of greater neurological configuration, speed, or sensitivity. I am not sure how one might make the determination. Regardless of the reason or the exact mechanism, some of us face these challenges for our whole life. Here is a booklet that you might find helpful;

http://christianpioneer.com/blogarchiev ... e_2017.pdf

As regards paranoia, I worked on a Crisis Hotline for several years and talked with many paranoid people. Only once did I ever have one even consider the possibility that it might be his condition. The fact that you consider your reactions as potentially paranoid, to me suggest that you are not. I have found that Asperger sensitivity can include, when attempting to read the intentions of others, to mistakenly assign mal-intent when there was none.

That sounds like me. In the case of the kids on the school bus, I think I was misreading the boy. Or, maybe even a little more obviously, it could have been my Paranoid Schizophrenia.

I have never been diagnosed with Autism, and I don't think I have it. Maybe in certain situations I feel really awkward, but I don't think it's Autism. And the whole "sensory overload" thing could also be my Paranoid Schizophrenia; it's a constant haze while I'm driving. It could also be the fact that I don't drive that often and that I just need to do it more to get better at it. If I had a full-time job it might get better. However, a couple years ago I attempted to get a job at a grocery store. I went in for two days, and then I decided to go on a sixty-mile all-night walk to a different state and back home. Upon talking about it with my therapist several months afterward, he said that he thinks that maybe I was over-stimulated from the job; and it sent me into a manic state of mind, which caused me to go on that "walk". So whether I am ready to go back to work or not, who knows? I am most likely not ready to do that just yet. And if I do, most likely it will need to be more gradual.