Playing the victim

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Often when i have had moments of clarity in my life it always points me back to the role of the victim in one way or another. The most common role of victim mentality in my life was my psychiatric diagnoses. They where reason for almost everything wrong in my life and my excuses for my bad behavior. I believed that because of these things wrong with me I would never be able to do anything. This thinking resulted in me not doing anything with my life. What a waste. Now that I going to be forty and I hope to live the next half better. I hope to find the road less traveled and fight my way down it. Focusing only on what is bring me closer to the things i really want and moving away from the things that distract from that.
I have always run from everything and everyone because I was consumed by fear. I hid on the road trying to out run the monster i thought I was. Feeling useless and unnecessary. What a waste of all that time. Time I could used for making way into the world instead of trying to run from it.
See the other truth about my life is I was always looking for true freedom. What is freedom? I think it is different for everyone but for me the freedom i always really wanted is from my inner demons and a chance to be ok with all that I am, the good and the bad. By writing this here today my journey towards my new freedom has begung.
I want to focus on only doing the things leading me towards my goals . I want to start by making a list of what those are. Each day do something for each one of them. Hopefully find the one that i am best at and then focus all my attention there.
Because i want to go forward without out fear or regret. I want to live out the most authentic version of myself I can and not worry if that is good enough for you. I want to take the chances I always was afraid of taking and being ok with the consequences. I want to move forward not backwards. I only want to focus on positive. But most of all I want to cultivate my faith in God who will has and will continue to make all this and more possible.

Wow Allbymyself. You have a wisdom and maturity that only comes from God and your experiences. This is BIG.

Well done, and take your time. Enjoy the journey. No rush!

The "victim" mentality gets on my nerves

Don't tell me "you got mad". Tell me what you did wrong, Amy lee scheel b***h

Not "sucks"

Manipulative statements that are factually accurate and grossly misleading

A former counselor said her ex boyfriend "hurt" her

She saw him a week later in the building she worked at and felt no emotional charge


She made it sound like she was so wise

Forgiveness

Wrong


What questions would the public defender ask her?

How did he allegedly "hurt" her?

Physically or emotionally?


Does he claim she "hurt" him?

We're they in a wrestling tournament?

And et cetera



What gets on my nerves, is that some counselors, actually encourage the victim mentality

Good for you. What a great attitude!