Does anyone find conversations tiring?

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MrMacPhisto
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10 May 2019, 12:43 am

I find it very tiring to have conversations with people and also can find it too much to take in what people are saying.

I find it more easier to sit quietly and not speak than to have a conversation.

I have always been like it. I was told that when I was 3 years old people were concerned because I wasn’t talking a lot and that I was too quiet. I was talking at that point just I was very selective. Even at infants I didn’t have any desire to talk to the others in my class.

I had to go to Speech Therapy when I was 4 years old because of my lack of conversation.

It is like I said very tiring even at that age and that was one of the reasons why I was and still am quiet.



Muia
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10 May 2019, 5:52 am

Definitely find conversations tiring, especially with people I don’t know very well. I still find it hard at times even with people who know me more as I either don’t hear what someone is saying (if it’s a noisy busy room - had my hearing tested and it’s fine) or I miss what they say because it sounds gibberish. Takes some concentration.

As a child I was quiet but tended to talk to adults more (for example a magician was doing a trick where they pull a ball from your ear but I said ‘no I can see it up your sleeve!’. Very matter of fact. :lol:

My mum says I keep my cards close to my chest, makes sense as I masked so much most of my life and didn’t let on the difficulties I was having.

I’m more of a listener in conversations now, with years of training :lol: but still takes lots of concentration. Think I developed that so I don’t stand out as I was bullied throughout my childhood.


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MrsPeel
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10 May 2019, 6:05 am

Yes, of course.
Sometimes for work I need to travel with a colleague, and it can get difficult of they keep talking to me. I can handle conversation for 15 minutes or so, maybe half an hour if all I need to do is make agreeing noises, but after that I just 'switch off'.
I like being with people, though, as long as they're OK with me not saying anything.



dyadiccounterpoint
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12 May 2019, 10:00 pm

Yes.

Do you ever get literally "tired" from group interaction? When I find myself in such a situation for too long I can become drowsy, needing to leave the group. When I get into my private space, my fatigue vanishes and I'm up and alert for a few more hours.

I also used to struggle immensely with shifting topics and would get intensely frustrated because of unresolved points.

Sometimes it's as simple as a lack of ability to be interested or enjoy it. It depends greatly on the individual, subject(s), and my current disposition. What I dislike about this is that I can want to like it and be unable to.


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Rocket123
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12 May 2019, 10:56 pm

For me, I find "non-structured" conversations very tiring. I always have a difficult time thinking of something to talk about. I don’t mind speaking to someone who has knowledge/information that interests me. Typically, this "conversation" becomes more like an "interview" – where I just ask questions and listen to the other person answer. Then, I ask another question. I could ask someone questions about a single topic for hours on end (until they get bored answering my questions and figure out a polite way to "move on"). This "interview" mode seems to only work when I converse with one other individual. It doesn’t work when multiple people are involved.

In addition, I do not find most conversations at work tiring. As those typically have a purpose, where I need to exchange information with others. Those discussions are typically stimulating (at least for me). As I oftentimes gain new information/insights.



shortfatbalduglyman
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13 May 2019, 8:49 pm

Yes

Lil dipshits act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention. Enthusiasm

Then when I say the slightest thing, they grunt "huh" and "what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of " excuse me"

When I say something, they mishear or misunderstand

Compliments are as judgmental as insults, but they act like they did me a personal favor. They acted like, I had a moral obligation, to treat them like they, dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building

They are manipulative

They ask questions that are :skull: none of their business :mrgreen:

Sensitive hearing

Sometimes it's s**t I don't want to talk about

Or I don't want to talk

Or I don't want to talk to them

"Holier than thou" attitude


Idiots act like laughing is the perfect activity



All sorts of "miscommunication"


Dramatic lil dipshits



Magna
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13 May 2019, 8:54 pm

Yes they're usually tiring for me and I have strong urges to just turn and walk away without saying anything when I've had enough. I know it's not accepted behavior to do so.



shortfatbalduglyman
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13 May 2019, 9:10 pm

Then they act so entitled

Like they have a moral right to be happy at all times. Otherwise someone violated their stupidass "rights"

"Can you" as in , if you "can", you must

They act like they did you a personal favor, but they are just doing their job

They accuse you of doing things

You can't "prove" otherwise

But you shouldn't have to

Because you didn't steal Amy lee scheel b***h's stupidass noodles

They don't believe you when you tell her that bill said you could eat the noodles


Then they act like they have never done anything wrong before in their lives and "the meaning of life is helping people"


Then it ended up he :heart: discriminated :roll: against me when he "refused to call you by your boys name"



When he thought I was "lying", it was like, inciting a riot

When it turned out they were wrong


Not even an email apology





:cry:



Pepe
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14 May 2019, 5:41 am

MrMacPhisto wrote:
I find it very tiring to have conversations with people and also can find it too much to take in what people are saying.


That may be due in part to our executive functioning disorder which causes difficulty in organising information.
There are also memory issues involved.
Many autistic people have this affliction.

And then there is information overload in regards to having to socialise while conversing.

Also, many autistics have ADD or ADHD as a co-morbid condition, making focus/concentration difficult.

I myself have great difficulty in processing new information.
Information already incorporated isn't an issue and I can bore the pants off people discussing my topics of interest.



IstominFan
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14 May 2019, 9:09 am

If it is an actual conversation, no. If it is one of the frustrating kind that goes nowhere, it can be tiring and demoralizing. I don't like endless streams of questions, especially when I don't have the right answers.



PurpleReject
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14 May 2019, 1:42 pm

Depends on the conversation. If it's something I'm interested in, I can go for literal hours, but if it's a basic conversation, I get tired out rather quickly.



Skilpadde
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14 May 2019, 3:07 pm

Yes, all forms of interaction beyond hi/bye tires me. The longer and/or more boring, the sooner I tire. But even if I'm not bored, it does drain me. Only question is how much.

Immediate family is usually an exception.

Like OP, I am usually very quiet with very little to add to any conversation, and even when I do have little inner need to.


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IstominFan
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15 May 2019, 9:20 am

Those who know me best say that I have a lot to add to conversations even though I'm not a big talker. I'm not one of those people who can talk effortlessly and forever.



losingit1973
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15 May 2019, 10:54 am

Generally yes. If it of interest to me not so much, but it usually turns into a monologue. I am currently sitting here waiting for a convention to open. Although I know alot of the people there, I am still filled with dread. I should be ok if the conversations stay technical.


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15 May 2019, 9:01 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
For me, I find "non-structured" conversations very tiring. I always have a difficult time thinking of something to talk about. I don’t mind speaking to someone who has knowledge/information that interests me. Typically, this "conversation" becomes more like an "interview" – where I just ask questions and listen to the other person answer. Then, I ask another question. I could ask someone questions about a single topic for hours on end (until they get bored answering my questions and figure out a polite way to "move on"). This "interview" mode seems to only work when I converse with one other individual. It doesn’t work when multiple people are involved.

In addition, I do not find most conversations at work tiring. As those typically have a purpose, where I need to exchange information with others. Those discussions are typically stimulating (at least for me). As I oftentimes gain new information/insights.


I feel the same about all of this.



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 May 2019, 9:31 pm

Manipulative

They call themselves "people", . Like they overpower you. Because they outnumber you. But there is just one of them. Singular. Not plural

Leash Law

"Are you ok", like they are a hero

But they don't have the authority or skill to "help" you

They act like you have a moral obligation to say "thank you"

Expectations that I didn't even know I had, violated

Homophobia