Do males "mask"?

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I've been reading and hearing a lot about how autistic adults grow up wearing a metaphorical "mask" to blend in when with other people. Suppressing stims, not talking about special intrests, etc. But mostly all of these accounts come from women. Usually those who were not diagnosed until they had a child diagnosed and then the themselves were diagnosed at thirty or or forty. I've heard of fathers being diagnosed not long after their kids were diagnosed, but so far, most of these "mask" stories come from women. I am curious as to if males do this mask thing. My ex-boyfriend (were still friends) and he depicts himself with a mask. At first I figured it was just a reference to this animae/manga which is his special interest. Not long after I met him, I started hearing all these ladies referring to wearing a mask growing up. I asked him if it was in regards to being autistic and he said no, it's just from such and such animae.

I'd say any time that anyone does anything that doesn't come naturally with the intent to fit in, it's masking. I'd also say that everyone does it, it's masking, regardless of whether they are diagnosed with ASD, something else, or nothing at all.

If someone tries to start a conversation and I don't feel comfortable responding but I find a way to do it anyway, that's masking. If I choose to go to a party that I'd rather not go to, I'd also say that's a form of masking.

If an NT who hates playing cards chooses to play cards without complaining because it's what the group wants to do, and pretends to enjoy it even though he or she doesn't really enjoy it, I'd also call that a form of masking.

Some people mask more than others, and some are better at it than others, but I'd say there are very few people who are older than 2 years old who don't mask at all.

I can pass as non-autistic, but I don't really bother to try most of the time. My Asperger's is quite mild in any case. People have to get to know me quite well before my autism starts to show.

Short answer: yes.

Oh gosh. Yes males mask. I am so good at masking that only in recent years several people have suggested that I have asperges, and this only comes after many stressful events the last few years where I have strughled to mask effectively that probably left me open to interpret. That is if I am on the spectrum at all. But even if I am an NT, I do mask nearly all the time when I am around groups of people. It is because I am so good at it, that I have reached the age that I am without having been assessed.
I have had quite a few past jobs where I was dealing with the public on a daily basis, and I was a totally different person when I was alone to the person I was when I was in my job. This is masking. When in my job (In past employment) I come accross as confident and a cope with anything type of guy, but once I am on a day off I will be a shy withdrawn person.

I have to wear a mask, simply because people like Elliot Rogers poisoned the well.

Most definitely.

I mask in the following ways and it's not an all inclusive list:

>Forcing eye contact
>Appearing interested
>Forcing myself to be engaged in a conversation
>Manufacturing facial expressions that I would not otherwise have to coincide with appearing interested (e.g. looking surprised, sympathetic or smiling when others do - mimicry).
>Suppressing stims (e.g. rocking, fidgeting, hand wringing)
>Modulating my voice rather than near monotone
>Suppressing or curbing conversation about things that interest me in order to keep such talk at a socially acceptable level.
>Force active listening
>Force an overall appearance of calm to avoid making others uncomfortable.
>Filter and avoid expressing most thoughts or asking the questions I'd like to ask.

The amount of energy and concentration needed to keep those functions working in unison to appear "normal" is like a juggling act and is very draining. And, I still only do marginally well at it. I don't believe that I'm like some autistics who can, or who think they can appear NT to the point that they blend in perfectly. I can't do that. Perhaps I can appear NT in simple very short interactions with strangers like a bank transaction or grocery store, but I'm not certain. I just try to do the best I can. How do I know that I'm not close to perfect with masking? My lack of friends for the last 25 years for a start.

The only places I mask at this point in my life are work when needed (e.g. meetings or 1-3 minute "water cooler" chitchat) or a few minutes after church. Otherwise, by choice, I no longer mask that I'm aware of with anyone else.

Absolutely!

I sure do!

Like Prometheus18 said up there, my autism is pretty mild. But it gets more potent under stress, for me, so I have to be extra-careful.

Magna nailed it with that list (great job Magna! It could be the basis for an article on this stuff. Do you write?)

I think old rules of etiquette are kind of nice because they're aspie-friendly. At least for me, anyway. YMMV.

I get a wierd answer from the few people who have actually have spent a lot of time with me and have seen a few moments where I have partly unmasked and I have heard them say "You're actually very intelligent", though to be honest I don't feel highly intelligent. Maybe it's just a mask under a mask! (I am actually just a little over average intelligence if the truth be told). It makes me think though. Are they saying that because they realize how much I mask? The odd thing is that one or two school teachers who had taught me for a good while and then suddenly realised that there was a lot more to me were very surprized. I used to get wierd comments in school reports like "If he stops daydreaming he is actually bright" or "If he can focus on something that is not trains...." (Not the exact words as I can't remember the exact words, but things like that).

Did anyone else get the "I didn't know you were intelligent?" treatment from work collegues? I've had things like "Why are you working here as you should be in a much better job then this" type of comments.

Yes.

I don't want to take away from this post, but IMHO "masking" is being talked up big for women to deflect from previous diagnostic gender bias. It wasn't that the medical community failed in part, it's that I masked so much better than my male peers. Hint: the latter is sarcasm.

(I deleted the two paragraphs I had drafted --- apparently I feel strongly about this.)

The topic that won't die at least on GAD. I probably do at least sometimes in public but I'm not working and live next to a university where I go to the library all the time so it'd be hard to tell when I do vs. when I don't w/o thinking really hard about it. I can pass for NT pretty easily most of the time both b/c of where I live (see my profile) especially when I don't talk or only engage in simple social interactions like going to the supermarket. It's so instinctive that it's really hard for me to determine when I'm doing it and when I'm not.

The topic that won't die at least on GAD. I probably do at least sometimes in public but I'm not working and live next to a university where I go to the library all the time so it'd be hard to tell when I do vs. when I don't w/o thinking really hard about it. I can pass for NT pretty easily most of the time both b/c of where I live (see my profile) especially when I don't talk or only engage in simple social interactions like going to the supermarket. It's so instinctive that it's really hard for me to determine when I'm doing it and when I'm not.