Odd One Out

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I read posts by many newly diagnosed on here and they talk about having to make arrangements, phone calls, set up therapy, etc. I can't set up my own appointments or therapies so I just don't understand. If this describes you, please explain.

What exactly are you wanting an explanation for??? If you can't set up your appointments or something??? I guess once you have a diagnosis then people around you start to think you can't do stuff for yourself or something.

If I focus on something, I can do it. So I focus on making these appts, and most everything else gets dropped. When I then turn my focus back to other things, I don't make appts. Also, I can only focus on making so many types of appts, so I have yet to narrow down additional resources (for testing) until the other items are routine or unnecessary.

My mom is driving me nuts b/c she's like: make this OTHER appt, it's so important, it's just a phone call, and I am like b/c I am making THESE appts which are important. I finally gave her a three-week commitment to get her off my back. Makes my stomach tighten just thinking about it. So, I return my focus to what's at hand and celebrate the little wins.

I'm not recently diagnosed. I have never been able to do these things.

I never made appointments before, I couldn't handle the anxiety. Having a kid forced me to make appointments even though I absolutely didn't want to and had anxiety over it, because at that point I wasn't responsible for only myself anymore. My mom used to make appointments for me until I was like 20. She eventually told me I needed to start doing it myself, and I just kept putting it off. I still do sometimes if the appointment is for me but I eventually get around to it, especially if I can do it online.

If you do not have the ability to make an appointment for yourself, then you should work with an adult and allow them to make the appointment for you.

There are many facets to making an appointment.

The first is to make sure that the appointment will not interfere with any already scheduled activities. For example if you need a dentist appointment, you want to make sure the date and time slot is open. For example you do not have something else scheduled at the same time like a doctors appointment.

Another requirement for making an appointment is to make sure that you will see the right person. For example if you need to see a foot doctor, making an appointment with a heart specialist would do you no good.

Some specialist require a referral. Some medical appointments require that you have the right insurance to pay for the visit. Some doctors do not accept new patients. Sometimes the doctor will require a general physical before they will accept you as a new patient.

Some appointments will have things that must be done immediately before the appointment. For example, I will be taking my dog in to be neutered. They require that the dog consumes no solid foods nor any liquids after 10 PM the evening before I take him to the Veterinarian.

After you make the appointment it is important to track the appointment so that you do not miss it. Also if there is any actions that must be done prior to the appointment, I write that in the logbook. For example, I have a yearly calendar book and I put all my appointments in the book, even those that are many months in the future. Once a week, I look at the calendar book and see if there is anything coming up for that week so I will not miss the appointment.

My husband is NT and he doesn't like making appts, but he probably experiences it as a hassle, while for me it's dread. My mom has aspie traits and in my childhood, she'd make me arrange the babysitter --- that was AWFUL for me. One less appt for her to make. These days I do the Aspie trick: make a list (and then when my hormone levels are good) I give it focus and get 'er done. Google calendar is good to me (sometimes I have appts to make appts ).

It’s not a dread for me. It’s not something I am currently capable of doing.

Got it. The adverb "currently" implies to me that you see the possibility that you might be able to (at least once) in the future. Are you working with someone on it?

If I were to make one appt, I would choose a provider or service that I like and whose receptionist is kind. (And I might ask that someone call in advance to give them a heads up, so I can take my time.)

I love when people are kind and take the time to help me. So glad for those people. What a relief it is for me.

Wishing you find relief, and/or happy acceptance.

I'm not sure what the difficulty would be, unless it's shyness/social anxiety? I, too, believed that I couldn't do certain things for myself as a teenager, but I've grown out of that mentality over the past few years.

I'm not a teenager, I'm 29. The difficulty would be the sequencing and the communicating due to moderate classic autism.

A lot of people on here also receive help with setting up and keeping appointments.
I do.

I can make appointments although I don't like to, because I really dislike telephones and I have selective mutism. I find it's easiest to book an appointment while I'm at the location (e.g., book my next dental visit while there for the current visit).

The worst for me is if I book an appointment, but don't have the energy or stamina to go. Then I have to cancel it. I hate that. It means I've had to contact the place twice. Last week I cancelled an appointment for this week because I know I won't want to go. I'm low on social stamina and there's just no way I wanted anything on my calendar.

It's great that you're considering the challenge, and imagine it may be doable. Wishing you success!!

(I have a challenge in my life also and imagine it may be doable... now to find/take some steps... I can feel my anxiety creep up thinking about... deep breath... in time, can do... Also I heard that one can reshape the fleeing of anxiety into that of excitement. I must be so excited for this challenge. LOL)