Self-Care Difficulties

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As I write this I am only wearing my underwear and I need to get dressed because I need to leave in 25 minutes. I have been trying to get dressed for 20 minutes now. I switch between typing and pacing back and forth stimming. I also have a dentist appointment later today and have yet to brush my teeth. I feel trapped in my own body because no matter what the number on the clock says, I can't speed up getting ready.

It's been 45 minutes since you posted - I hope you got out the door with some degree of clothing that you were satisfied with. I went in to the library the other day with my bathing suit on --- it was a skirt bathing suit, so I figured it would pass. I do okay dressing (last minute), but skip the tooth brushing too often. Although before a dentist appt, like you, I would want to make the effort...

Wishing you well for your appts today.

What self-care issues do other people have?

As I sit here: my legs are stubbly, my armpits are stinky, my hair is in need of a trim, my chin is hairy, the fridge has carrots, yogurt and a 1/2 cup milk, I am short 30 min sleep (but finished book), my exercise is hit and miss (I made it my special interest 2 yrs ago, so am maintaining a minimal routine). I'm a fairly joyful person so it's weird to be that I feel dread taking care of those things I've listed. "Hairless" women I think is just stupid social rule. I don't want to be stinky, so to me it's about efficiency - maximizing stinkiness relative to minimizing bathing. Food - if I am focused I can do quite well, but lately my focus is elsewhere, so I'll have to "limp" along with meals until the husband returns. I did manage to put gas in the car, so that's a big win! (when it says less than 10 miles remaining I am motivated; in my 20s I ran out of gas quite a few times and that's inconvenient) Sleep is important to me, so last night was unusual. I just went and looked at a self-care worksheet and it was quite overwhelming (social, spiritual, professional). So I think I'll stop with those basic items. You?

My favorite pair of capris are in my closet, but not readily visible, so that's daunting. My bed is unmade, probably b/c yesterday I made my daughter's bed and received a nasty gash on my foot as a "thank you". Making beds is dangerous!! ! I just used a whole bunch of will power to move an item in the garage elsewhere so I could put my bike in more easily. That was a win! See, I'm winning all the time here. Ate a relatively decent meal (oatmeal and egg), got dressed (in backup capris), went biking (20 min) -let my NT son lead- and now back to my current interest. I still haven't taken that shower, maybe tonight... or more likely I'll try to get through until my exercise class tomorrow (I always shower after a sweaty group class - I got the locker closest to the shower, so happy!).

I do this a lot too. But I am usually on time. Sometimes the steps of getting ready to go overwhelm me and I *know* what I should be doing and in what order but it feels too daunting to start because I'm so overwhelmed. It helps if I run through stuff in my head the day before, set a time in my phone that I HAVE to leave by, break down each step of getting ready and make a checklist and check stuff off that I do as I go along. It helps to have your clothes picked out the day before too but sometimes it's not gonna happen and I get that, for sure.
Checklists and having schedules to look at help me a lot, and phone reminders that pop up at certain times. A lot, a lot.

I found this on the interweb the other day, It describes me 100%

"Why do people with Asperger’s sometimes smell like the inside of an onion that has been rotting in a graveyard for a century? Or to put it another way, why do people with Asperger’s often struggle with hygiene issues?

It’s not that they aren’t motivated. It’s not that they don’t care. Often, it’s just that they are so deep into Defense Mode that they don’t have enough energy to care. Their energy is completely spent just getting through the day, and defending against the world in general.

Hygiene is on their priority list! It’s just #27, and they only have enough energy for #1-3, which would be basic life functions (eating, sleeping, etc), getting through the day (school or work), and keeping it all together. Often there simply isn’t enough energy left to do anything else."

Sorry if this is gross but I rarely shower. Maybe once or twice a week. Good thing I don't really smell (my mom would probably tell me if otherwise). Also, my hair never really gets oily.

I have to be regularly reminded by my mom to engage in regular hygiene: bathing, deodorant, brushing my teeth, a few other things. It's a combination of both forgetfulness and a general dislike of the process.

What adaptive skills do you all lack?

What adaptive skills do you all lack?

I have troubles with dressing myself sometimes. It takes me a while to choose something to wear and then I have a hard time with buttons and belts. I also have a hard time with tying my shoes. I have to ask for help with that stuff. I also don't go to the doctors office alone or book my own appointments. I brush my teeth a lot. I also struggle with clipping my nails. I also am always late for school during the school year.

I suck at a lot of things. My whole life my mom has nagged me about my hygiene; I'll shower maybe twice a week and will only do laundry a couple of days after I've run out of clean things to wear. It gets past 90 degrees where I'm at and a few times this summer I've gone out in pants and long sleeves because they were the only clean items of clothing in my closet.

I'm really bad with eating, I generally only get around to eating one proper meal per day, and tend to snack on whatever is immediately available and requires no preparation otherwise.

I also have terrible time management. I'm late literally everywhere I go, no matter how hard I try. I'll start to do a task, then get sidetracked by something else and suddenly discover twenty minutes have gone by. I've found myself responding to irrelevant texts or playing "just one more round" of some game on my phone whilst wearing nothing but a t-shirt, underwear and one sock, or some combination thereof, because I got distracted while in the middle of getting dressed.

I really need some in-home help, but the only company that offers it has been dragging their feet for over a year now.