People dont want to talk to me

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I joined a group of environmental activists to make some friends (and I do care about the environment) I volunteered to make their posters and another guy volunteered to stick the posters up. So I ask this other guy when he is free to do that so that I know when I need to have the posters ready by, and he told me to go ask someone else in the group. He is one of the founding members. I don't know why he can't tell me when he wants me to make the posters by if he is going to put them up.

This just seems like he doesnt want to make time for me even though I'm making time for him.

We know the posters are to advertise the next meeting and we know when that is. So he really just needs to tell me when he is free to follow through with what he said.

The 'ask someone else' line reminds me of all the goose chases I have been sent on in the past with that line.

I've already been out with this guy sticking up posters in the past so I really thought he would be able to exercise some autonomy when dealing with me but I guess not.

I've been noticing that even here I'm wrong planet, just like everywhere else, I am ignored. Half of my posts usually go on unanswered. Pretty much everyone in RL hates me when be surprised if everyone on here hated me to.

I do have friends who want to talk to me, but I also notice serious communication breakdowns or just plain non-communication when I want specific information.

When someone does not talk to you it could be a good or bad thing

Did you then ask this other person? Perhaps this other person has some official coordinating role and the guy you first spoke to wanted to defer to that person? I wouldn't read anything more into the situation than that, unless there's a good reason to.

That said, making friends in an activist group will likely take some time. You'll need to be patient.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 10 Aug 2019, 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Usually, if someone wants to talk to me, I don't want to answer

If I want to talk to someone , they don't want to talk to me


Not consensual

I don't think you're hated here, or even disliked. I don't recall you saying anything nasty that would cause anyone here to hate you.

You say half your posts usually go unanswered. But the other half of your posts do get answered, right?

Lots of posts, by most people here, go unanswered. If every post by everyone were to get answered, then no thread would ever end, and the response rate would grow exponentially to the point where no one could keep up with it.

You can't take it personally if people don't want to talk to you. That's on them.

There is a possibility that they have a workload (or perhaps even emotional exhaustion) that is making them deprioritize working with you without intending to communicate dislike. They may just have a lot going on at the moment, although it's definitely frustrating when someone reneges on their words.

It may be something else, but I thought I would play devil's advocate and submit this potentiality.

In a prosperous consumer society, interest in other people will often be based on what the other person can provide. For example, someone who is entertaining will have value. With dating, the prospect of romance can sustain interest.

With mission centered activity (like environmentalism) you may find that utility has a value. If you are being dismissed, it may because your particular mission is seen as not having value.

While Aspergers can make forming relationships more difficult, perhaps a greater difficulty arises from the times in which we live. Kindness and compassion have little value in a society with an emphasis on self.

It sounds like you are seeking an increasingly rare commodity, a person who can show selflessness. It used to be that they were more likely to be found in churches. Sadly, this resource is also drying up. You may have to hit many more groups to find even one person capable of reciprocal interest.

Have you tried asking him if you are doing anything that bothers him? Ask him why he told you to ask someone else and if he brushes you off, then maybe talk to someone else who is in charge of the group and tell them how he responded to you.

While I don't have authority over the situation, based on your description, it sounds like, maybe you should, ask someone else


Sometimes it is favorable, when "people" do not talk to you

Could also be neutral reason, neither good morning bad, completely unrelated to you.

It might be that this huy just didn't know.

People don't want to talk to me because they can probably tell I'm not comfortable with it and even when they do i am hesitant or give some poorly communicated response. If you can't smalltalk and arent easy to be around then people don't want to know. It took me until my twenties or even early 30s for this to really hit home.