When an nt says “nice” do they mean “non threatening”?

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I’ve noticed that people never describe as “nice”- however the irony is that I’m the nicest person on the planet. I’m free of manipulation, deceit, gossip, and have a high sense of justice for marginalized groups. However, I’m awkward say inappropriate things and have an angry look on my face- I’m described as a “b***h”.

I’ve noticed they have described the most fake, manipulative, “polite” people as “nice”. Girls who have done horrible things to me- like pretended to be my friend to embarrass me etc. In fact I believe most people are not nice and only think about themselves. They also have described racists, abusers, and rapists as “nice”.

What do nts mean by “nice” anyway? Non threatening?

"Nice" began as a term for a win with almost no margin - a well-judged effort. Now, a "nice person" is one who does enough to make others feel good without getting too involved. Good manners are almost required, but there are also unexpected compliments, general helpfulness, and passing on only positive gossip. Rather than non-threatening, I'd say that there is a positive feeling of safety, and a general lack of anything unfamiliar.

It means they enjoy the time they spend with the other person. They don't care what that person is really like when they are apart, they just know that they like spending time with them. That experience is nice for them.

Nice=likable, don't be insulting, respect others, don't bully, don't spread rumors, use manners.

NTs can mistake your poor social skills as meanness because you say the wrong things and because of your body language so they think there is hostility involved. So when they say "be nice" they are saying don't insult people and be friendly.

It depends on the context. It could be a "dog-whistle" for...

... men to inform each other that a woman is either boring or doesn't "put out" -- usually both.

... women to inform each other that they suspect a man of being gay, or that the man in question is well-mannered and polite, but doesn't excite them.

... employers to inform each other that an employee is pleasant enough to work with, but has mediocre performance.

... employees to inform each other that their place of employment is okay, but that something else could be better.

... parents to inform each other that their child is acting uncharacteristically pleasant and cooperative (i.e., maybe Christmas is coming?).

Yes I think non-threatening is pretty close to the true definition. I think it's generally taken to mean friendly, pleasant, courteous, innocuous. It's often seen as a positive label, though perhaps not necessarily the best label a person can have. The word smacks of damnation by faint praise. I think a lot of people expect more from their favourite people than plain niceness. You'd hope it would be enough, but people are often also looking for firmness, strength and courage, and an extremely nice person might have trouble showing those qualities. I think people can feel quite suspicious of somebody who acts too nice, in the sense that they feel somebody who brings you nothing but good news can't possibly be telling you the truth. I think that can be a valid attitude. There's also the excitement factor that some folks see as lacking in a nice person, to well-behaved and placid to be any fun. And it's possible for a nice person to be valued for the wrong reasons - i.e. valued as somebody who can easily be pushed around and dominated. There are always vacancies for that kind of thing.

I think I'd possibly be too nice for most people's taste if it weren't for my mind-blind tendency towards bluntness. It's not courage, but sometimes it looks as if I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Sometimes I do know the risks, but not always.

The etymology of the word has the idea of "not thinking". It is similar to considering a mentally ret*d person as non-threatening because they lack the ability to be duplicitous.

The word today carries with it some of the original, but also the idea of someone who is pleasing or courteous. This adds an active component of intentional good will.

It is sad that politicians, sociopaths, and salesmen often present themselves as "nice" to gain trust so that they can betray it.

Truth can be difficult to discern without adversity. Someone once said that before a couple gets married, they should travel together around the world. Their thesis was that the difficulties in travel (particularly in third world countries) creates such difficulties, that no one can long hide their true nature.