Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Would you say a person with Autism would react like this?

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Azureth
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2013
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

03 Sep 2019, 10:41 pm

On another forum there's a topic about if a woman would date a guy with Autism and someone mentioned something I found a bit odd:

Quote:
I belong to an online group of people, mainly women, none of whom knew when they married that their new partner was autistic. I certainly didn't know.

Example: A woman in our online group had a brain seizure. Her husband suggested she drive herself to the hospital because he didn't want to pay for an ambulance. Then he stepped over her body on his way of out of the room. She survived and got a divorce.

We were watching TV one evening, eating dinner from trays. I choked on a piece of meat and kept trying to dislodge it. He kept eating, shoveling food in as fast as possible, the way he always eats. I was coughing and straining with my entire body trying to rid myself of the obstruction. He was smiling at the TV screen in rapt attention.

Finally, I did expel the offending object. When I got my breath back, I asked him why he hadn't called 911. "I could hear you breathe," was his response. And if I had stopped breathing, I would have been dead by the time an ambulance arrived. Their average response time is 14 minutes.

He would have called 911 if someone had told him to do it. I couldn't talk. So things had to change.

He took a CPR class and learned the Heimlich maneuver. I decided I would have to train him so that his brain would automatically know how to react to emergency situations. So when I had an asthma flare, I'd have him take me to the ER. Now, he asks if he should take me if I seem to be having trouble breathing. The old DH would have just ignored it and kept watching YouTube videos. Though now that we've moved to a different city, I will have to retrain him because there are two ERs fairly close by and he might not be able to decide between them.


And:

Quote:
Comedian Amy Schumer married a man with autism, they just had a baby. Her latest standup special called “Growing” ” talks about his autism how she found out about it ( after she fell flat on her face during one of their dates and when she looked at him he was just staring at her and didn’t make a move to say anything or help her up LOL) how she reacted and the impact it has on their relationship. It’s very funny.


Perhaps it's just me, but even if Autistic, the vast majority would be able to recognize if someone's having a brain seizure or choking and be able to at least call 911. Or if someone you are with falls on their face you should help them up.



Magna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,932

03 Sep 2019, 11:02 pm

I agree with you.

I for one would have HYPER-EMPATHY if someone I cared about was having a seizure or choking. I would be the OPPOSITE of how that person described the alleged autistic person. I would try to snap into action and be freaking out at the same time. I would be beside myself with every fiber of my being focused on trying to help the person but I would possibly be frozen in inaction not being able to think of what to do.

About ten years ago there was a two car collision that happened right in front of me. It was very bad and one person fell out of one of the cars and was lying on the road moaning in pain. I think someone else was screaming. I had the common sense to call 911 on my phone immediately and report the accident, telling the operator there were multiple people hurt and then I told the people who were hurt that help was on the way. My point is that even though I didn't know any of the injured people I did something. I will say that I could not empathize with their pain because I'd never experienced that, didn't know how much pain they were or were not in, etc but I could clearly see they were in trouble.



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,469
Location: New York City (Queens)

04 Sep 2019, 1:22 am

Here's a link to the forum page quoted by the O.P.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.


Zakatar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 May 2019
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA

04 Sep 2019, 10:29 am

Example: A woman in our online group had a brain seizure. Her husband suggested she drive herself to the hospital because he didn't want to pay for an ambulance. Then he stepped over her body on his way of out of the room. She survived and got a divorce.

Seems like the guy in this story is just a douchebag. Not all autistics are saints. If I were to witness someone I care about having a seizure, I’d call 911 immediately.


_________________
When anti-vaxxers get in my face, I say ... Have a Nice Day!

#palestinianlivesmatter


Borromeo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,440

04 Sep 2019, 11:07 am

I'm an autistic man and something of a metaphorical douchebag, but when I see somebody hurting I'm going to try to help even if I just get in the way.

But I don't have the empathy to understand how somebody would be so obtuse as the person mentioned by the OP.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

04 Sep 2019, 12:02 pm

Yeah, my Dad is like this. He can be completely totally and utterly oblivious to things goibg on around him.

Or be aware, but just not know how to react.

These scenarios are totally believable.

It's not malice, it's not being a douchebag, it's just not really understanding the situation



psychogirl
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 28 Aug 2019
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 66

04 Sep 2019, 1:13 pm

Magna wrote:
I agree with you.

I for one would have HYPER-EMPATHY if someone I cared about was having a seizure or choking. I would be the OPPOSITE of how that person described the alleged autistic person. I would try to snap into action and be freaking out at the same time. I would be beside myself with every fiber of my being focused on trying to help the person but I would possibly be frozen in inaction not being able to think of what to do.

About ten years ago there was a two car collision that happened right in front of me. It was very bad and one person fell out of one of the cars and was lying on the road moaning in pain. I think someone else was screaming. I had the common sense to call 911 on my phone immediately and report the accident, telling the operator there were multiple people hurt and then I told the people who were hurt that help was on the way. My point is that even though I didn't know any of the injured people I did something. I will say that I could not empathize with their pain because I'd never experienced that, didn't know how much pain they were or were not in, etc but I could clearly see they were in trouble.


I think I experience the same 'hyper-empathy' and would be panicking and trying to do something (but might not necessarily know what)! I feel a lot for other people, even if most of the time my perception of their feelings are incorrect (e.g. I might guess that someone is feeling upset about something, and then I feel upset, when actually they're fine and didn't even notice whatever it was!)



dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan

04 Sep 2019, 2:02 pm

I might not know what to do in a situation, like if I was panicking I might not think to call 911, but I would at least be visibly distraught in both situations, I'm sure, not just sitting there obliviously or saying that someone experiencing a medical crisis should drive themself to the ER. Granted I have anxiety in addition to autism, but I can't even imagine being so nonchalant about those situations.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

04 Sep 2019, 2:05 pm

Quote:
A woman in our online group had a brain seizure. Her husband suggested she drive herself to the hospital because he didn't want to pay for an ambulance. Then he stepped over her body on his way of out of the room. She survived and got a divorce.


I would also divorce his ass. Medical bills suck but sometimes you don't have a choice and if you have insurance, call for one and most medical places offer financial assistance on your medical bills and they can't garnish your wages or charge you late fees so you can pay as much as you can. The only thing is it will ruin your credit. This is why i want national healthcare like Canada has and Australia and the UK. If the man thought she should drive herself, he should have taken her himself. This was an as*hole move IMO than being oblivious because it was all about not wanting to pay for the ambulance. Very selfish.

Quote:
We were watching TV one evening, eating dinner from trays. I choked on a piece of meat and kept trying to dislodge it. He kept eating, shoveling food in as fast as possible, the way he always eats. I was coughing and straining with my entire body trying to rid myself of the obstruction. He was smiling at the TV screen in rapt attention.


So he couldn't see her face getting all blue or turning red or her grabbing her throat? When someone is choking, the thing you do is slap them in the back.

It boggles me how much common sense someone can lack. I would also break up with him too because if they are this dumb, I don't want to be with an idiot. I would wonder what else they would be stupid about. It doesn't matter if they have a Ph D or a degree in science or whatever.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.