Reassurance.

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Yesterday was a day I will never forget. The day I had reassurance and someone to talk to who understands. And because I was understood, I was able to open up. I did not clam up. Though I was nurvous, the right words came to me so I was able to communicate the struggles I had been going through.
I don't know what will happen. How things will pan out. But what I do know is having reassurance means that the weight of the burdens I was carrying has lifted. The worry left.
I can only say that God is involved in this. Yesterday was surreal.

While I was still worked up yesterday, for the first time in a long time I felt hope. It made such a difference. I now feel light and burden free. Today as I write this, I see the sunshine again. I have hope.

Best news ever .

Though as I type this I am half in a partial shutdown which I have been battling with, but I don't have the worries with it. It makes a huge difference.

Something I will say is that while I am feeling the fringe effects of a partial shutdown, I feel like my energy is draining from me, so stimming is naturally illogical to do. However, since I have tried it a few days ago onwards, I have found it very effective. Actually I have been amazed.
The natural thing for me was to lie down as still as I can and wait to recover hoping to eat or drink something to boost my energy (Which is mildly effective but does not always work). What I can't fathom out is why stimming works? As it feels un-natural to do when I feel drained of energy, I have to remember to do it.

Here is a confirmation though. As stimming is so effective, it confirms to me that what I am getting has to be partial shutdowns and not anything else. I was told by a docot years ago that it was "Some sort of allergy" but if it was caused by that, stimming would make things worse as the last thing I would want to do is use more energy by stimming.

It has been such a huge thing for me to be able to hold off the effects of a partial shutdown and stop it progressing into a shutdown. I know what has caused thie event today. There has been a lot going on as my rother and three of his children are here and he has just taken us down the shop near the beach ad back in his 4WD where I went with them... Where I am a little fragile at the moment so this has set off the partial shutdown mode. I went to please my brother and the kiddies, and my mum. It was a nice outing. Ir wasn't far. Brother needs outings as he doesn't get many.

Two things come to mind. One is that "Can a shutdown be caused by bright sunlight? Maybe not initially caused by it, but the bright sunlight contributed to it?" And can the initial believed reason be the car journey as if I could have used my car and joined them down there, I would have been more relaxed. We all went in my brothers 4WD as it has 7 seats and there are 6 of us today, so it saves money between us all.

Anyway. It was fun. I mean the walk on thw beach looking at baby fishes and a baby crab in little pools as the tide is out.

Maybe considering all you’ve been going through, including interaction online even(anything that requires any energy from you, even just the act of “overthinking”) can be draining. Add to that any amount of added stimulation, could be making you feel as you do Glad you were able to go in the car with your brother and his family. Sometimes, it’s good to gently push yourself out there in able to ultimately enjoy a moment with your family. It would be different altogether if you were totally overloaded stimulation/sensory-wise. It’s good to go with the flow wherever you can, and you did. You came away saying”It was fun. walking along the beach, looking at baby fish, and a baby crab at low tide in little pools as the tide is out”. There ... it was worth it... you were with nature in a beautiful setting ... whereas, I am cleaning a shower ...

Why stimming works and is good ... and everyone on the face of this planet does it whether they know it or not ...Stimming for England

Thanks Juliette. I hope you have finished cleaning the shower.

You’re welcome, MG ... and yes, ‘tis done