Empathy and Emotional Memory

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Greetings,

I decided not to post this in teh emotion thread because it refers to a slightly different subject.

One of the biggest problems I have with the NT perception of things is this supposesed lack of caring about other peoples feelings. I would say it is very much the opposite. I remember things with perfect clarity from like 20 years ago which involved other peoples feelings.

Here is one example I dug up last night when trying to explain to someone :-

I was 6 years old. I used to go to the local youth club most saturdays. One day we were standing in the queue for the tuck shop and some money fell on the ground. I was convinced it was mine and the guy in front of me was convinced it was his. We argued for a bit until one of the staff came over. They took my side and told the other guy to give me my money. Then he started crying. The guilt I felt at that point was unbelievable and I still remember it. The staff member resolved the matter by splitting the money between us (never did found out whos it actually was )

Anyway - that is a simple misunderstanding to most people but to see someone upset and to know that I had a part in making them feel that way seriously screws me up. I'm still like that today and I still carry all the guilt with me.

Anyone else feel that way?

I agree with you completely. The funny thing is that people seem to disagree over whether Aspies are emotionally limited or have richer emotional lives than NTs. Based on my own experiences, I would have to say that it is the latter. But I know that some on this site have claimed that they don't understand certain common emotions, e.g. love. I accept that as a valid way of being. But now I wonder: Are there fundamentally different forms of AS?

The funny thing is that everyone thinks I have no emotional life at all. Therapists were telling me to get in touch with my emotions. I bet you that I was more in touch with my feelings than they were with theirs.

A therapist uses body movements to tell if you are “in touch” but that only works if the person they are helping uses the level that the therapist can read. So that could be why they think we are out of touch. Very strong emoting gets thur like anger very happy or disgust. Nonverbal feelings ones that defy words for them or if there are words they are not good for conveying the feeling to a fellow human. Maybe most people are not really feeling the same as the words used to talking about them ?

I know that I don't experience emotions like other people do, but I also have this experience that most people don't which I can't describe as anything but overwhelming - to the point of being painful - empathy. Here is the most recent example of this, the person I like to be around who's son died - I saw him the other day and he started talking to me and started to cry (now, this is a big man's man so the fact that he was crying was bizarre enough) but I got this sensation (which I've experienced before) and I don't know how to describe it at all - the closest thing I can think of is that it is like getting hit in the chest with a baseball bat . . . I hate it - I experienced this with another person that I like to be around when he was EXTREMELY sick and the sensation nearly knocked me down when he walked in the room . . .

Another person that I like to be around says that people with AS are more spiritually connected than other people and that we no longer need confusing emotions like love, because of this connection (i.e. we don't limit caring the way NTs do, so there is no need to define caring for certian people more than others) - I sort of like this idea since sprituality is very important to me though I'm not 100% sure that I agree with it . . .

Greetings,

Thats exactly the kind of thing I was trying to describe. I find funerals particularly hard. I've been to a few where I wasnt particularly close to the person but just went out of respect. And when the close relatives and friends get emotional I find it really hard just to keep my own composure.

Its more or less an added bonus if you have a part to ply in making the person feel that way because theres the guilt attatched to it and that guilt has the same effect as being embarassed in an aquard situation : it stays with you a very very long time.

Another strange thing I've notived is that if there are a bunch of nt's nearby having a conversation and I'm absorbed in my own thoughts, they could come to a point where they all laugh at something but at the same time I'm laughing because of my own thoughts touched on something funny. I thought it was an aquard coincidence at first but it has happened far too many times. It could be that the nt conversation has some subconcious effect - but unlikely since Ive rarely been in a position where I coudl even hear it.

And yes I completely agree about being more spiritually connected, being a spiritual person myself I've also had some profound things said about me by the psychics

Wolfy - if you experience that same 'whacked in the chest' feeling that I do (and it is amazingly cool to find someone else who feels that!) you may try something that I'm trying - that is when you are in a room with someone that you like to be around, try to sence their emotions - usually this works best for me if I stand next to them . . . I've found that the sensations that I get is that if they are in a good mood they feel warm - almost like I can feel their body heat coming off of them. If they are in a bad mood they will feel less warm and also if I back up and look at them from a distance they will appear to be about an inch shorter (I get this sensation from men more than women, possibly only because men are taller than me so I have more of a frame of reference) . . .
The only problem with this is that you sence things that may not be important - for example, I saw one of my favorite people to be around the other day and he had that short look - so I paid attention to him for about 10 minutes and it went away, so I assume what I senced origianlly was maybe that he was too hot (he had just come in from outside) or got a bad cell phone call or ran out of cigarettes or been behind some bad driver on the road or something minor, that he was able to unstress himself from after a short period of time - so if this works for you, don't assume that it means that the person you are sencing bad feelings off of is about to drop dead or something!

I feel that this skill is something I was taught to repress when I was a kid but that it insisted on breaking through in crisis situations so I'm trying to redevelop it . . .

Greetings,

There is something called Synesthesia (blending of the senses) that has been clinically recorded for over 300 years. Only recently is it being seriously researched. It is said to have been scientifically proven to be an actual brain function. Not part of the imagination as some speculated since it is predominantly evident in artists and musicians.

Some are said to taste shapes and colors, or that their letters and numbers flash in different colors. There is evidence of more individualized blending of the senses and is described as being exotic. I believe the current leading world researcher is Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen. In the USA, it is Dr. Peter Grossenbacher.

It is also sometimes spelled Synaesthesia.

I really don't have much of a sence of taste due to my meds, so I'm not sure - but it would make sence that you might get a wierd taste when that happens - remember that epileptics will sometimes taste oranges just before they have a seizure - so a brain function can create taste . . .

I like the synethesia idea - I had always thought of that more as being able to see sounds (which I experience sometimes) but not as what I have been describing - but that makes a lot of sence . . .

Greetings,

Facinating. I'll definately have to read up on synethesia. I've always associated letters and numbers with colours - always the same colours as well.

A is green
B is a reddish colour
C is hard to identify kind of a light greyish blue
D is pretty much the same as B
E is yellow

I wont list the whole alphabet. There are a couple which dont have colours as well.

I'm f****d then.
I already notice some of this 'loss'