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KanyeWestFan
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04 Sep 2019, 2:24 am

My social skills used to be non-existent until I became 21. That was the age, I have gotten more chances to be social so it was like practice and it worked. I can finally hold a conversation but of course, it's not perfect and it probably will never be perfect. And I am content with that, I am just glad I can actually hold a conversation.



PurpleReject
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04 Sep 2019, 2:33 am

Technically yes, but I still don't socially function like a 30 year-old at all, more like a kid, but I guess it's far better than it was when I was actually a kid.



aquafelix
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04 Sep 2019, 4:04 am

Compared to that pathetically awkward, creepy confused teenager who had no idea how to interact with people, absolutely.

But it was a very long, hard slog of failure after failure after mild success after failure. I'm stubborn, and had it in my mind that if I just kept trying (think Edisons efforts to create a working light bulb) that I'd finally understand what most others seemed born with.

It wasn't until about age 30 that I think I had built up enough trial, error and correction cycles of learning that I began to be flexible enough in my social responses to not make a fool of myself and be accepted and respected by people.

I'm still awkward socially, but I think I've crossed the "good enough" line.



Sahn
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04 Sep 2019, 4:55 am

Hardly, I still spend a lot of energy avoiding contact.



rowan_nichol
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04 Sep 2019, 5:02 am

It might appear so, but that id because thr older I got the more ibteractionn I would have in "Professional" contexts where there ate conventions of business courtesu, professional courtesy, need to convey information and get a job done, rather than vague "Social" stuff just to make connnections, acwuaintenshipd etc dometimes in noisy situatiobs which do not help.



MrsPeel
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04 Sep 2019, 5:06 am

Mine improved up to about my mid-thirties, and since then I think I've regressed.
I started getting too burnt-out to maintain the effort needed. And after a while I stopped caring so much about how I came across.



Edna3362
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04 Sep 2019, 5:37 am

Mine is more of a rollercoaster on how much of my social skills are mainly dependent on my current executive function level for the hour/day/week.

It is as if I already do have higher levels of social skills and huge accumulation of quality data, underneath the lack of ability performing the prerequisites of the more basic ones.
If my EF regresses, so do social skills and other important stuff, my past 'experiences' would rendered irrelevant.


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renaeden
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04 Sep 2019, 6:50 am

aquafelix wrote:
I'm still awkward socially, but I think I've crossed the "good enough" line.
This is me. I started volunteering at a second hand shop in June and it was my first lot of interactions with multiple people in a very long time. But they actually like me so I must be doing something right.



shortfatbalduglyman
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04 Sep 2019, 3:35 pm

you can't measure social skills

the older i get the fewer failures i have

the older i get the fewer successes i get


it's like, the best case scenario is, whooptie do

the worst case scenario is, subject to imagination

something might "help" me one dollar.

someone might shoot me with a gun


risk versus reward

cost benefit analysis


f**k mister redelings



lostproperty
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05 Sep 2019, 8:07 am

Mine have probably got worse because I've got better at avoiding people.



Trueno
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05 Sep 2019, 8:17 am

lostproperty wrote:
Mine have probably got worse because I've got better at avoiding people.


This, really. I've also got better at avoiding situations and lost the desire to torture myself by trying to fit in at social functions.


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EzraS
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05 Sep 2019, 8:18 am

Sometimes nowadays I look at people when they are talking to me.



Fireblossom
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05 Sep 2019, 8:36 am

Absolutely. I mean, if my skills were the same now that they were, say, 10 years ago, there is absolutely no way I would have a job.



Bravo5150
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05 Sep 2019, 8:41 am

My social skills seem to vary a large degree to how familiar I am with the topic.



kraftiekortie
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05 Sep 2019, 8:43 am

I have much better "social skills" than I did when I was younger.

It partially depends on motivation.

It's also good to consider that you like to be treated decently----so why not treat people decently.



Fireblossom
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05 Sep 2019, 12:32 pm

Bravo5150 wrote:
My social skills seem to vary a large degree to how familiar I am with the topic.


I think that's about conversation skills, which is just a small part of social skills. When you know some topic well, you can obviously talk about it a lot and give some actual information... as long as you don't end up lecturing; then it's no longer an actual conversation (=socializing), but, well, a lecture.