Cannot calm down after being angered

Post Reply New Topic

I get really really angry when people on the internet accuse or call me all sorts of things.
Words like "stupid", "sexist", "racist", etc can make me really angry for hours, and I cannot calm down.
Especially the word "stupid".

I'm already an adult and I still cannot calm down myself effectively.

Do I need anger management?
Or do generalized autism therapy help?
I was in some sort of therapy, but they didn't cover this topic.

There is no way for strangers on the Net to give constructive feedback on this post without more info.

You have a short history on this site. So we don't know you that well.

But there are two obvious issues in your post.

One is: why do folks call you out so often?

The second is: how should you react to folks calling you out?

The first is subdivided into multiple issues: Do you DESERVE to be called out for racism, and sexism, and seeming stupidity? If not then why do folks mistakenly accuse you of such on a regular basis?

Deserved or not, you must have a talent for drawing negative attention upon yourself. Sumpin you're doing just isn't working.

I get angry when I get called certain things when I don't deserve it. Like when people (who know me well) say I'm "like a child" when I am hyper (I have ADHD). I just find it insulting like I can't be myself any more because of my age. I don't mean acting irresponsible or babyish, I just mean when I am quite ecstatic. When people critically say anything to do with me being like a child, I feel angry and the words they used repeat over in my head for the rest of the day. I even got angry at my boyfriend when he criticised me for wearing a stripy t-shirt that said "Miami" on the front in pink. He was like, "why are you wearing that? You're a 29-year-old, not 16!" He had had a few drinks but even so, I got offended because I didn't see anything childish about my t-shirt.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on about myself here. I was just saying that I can relate to you about getting angry at certain remarks.

The anger and inability to calm down is driven by stress. This stress energy is stored in your body unless you learn to vent it. So if you vent the stored stress energy, you should find that the anger dissipates and your body should calm down. The next question is HOW?

So where is it stored? I suspect that it is stored in your neck/jaws. Your natural inclination is to SCREAM. That is probably a solution to your dilemma.

One needs to vent the stored stress energy in their neck muscles, vocal cords, and jaw. The best way is to scream at the top of your lungs several times. But this must be done in a socially acceptable manner. Never scream at a person. I live in the rural countryside and my dog is a free-range dog. When it is mealtime and my dog is up and about; I call my dog very loudly.

R-o-c-k-y. Come here puppy. R-o-c-k-y.
R-o-c-k-y. Where are you puppy? R-o-c-k-y.
R-o-c-k-y. Come here puppy.

I yell so loud that I can hear my voice being echoed back to me from nearby hills and mountains. My voice carries about a mile. The call is so strong that it borders on a roar. It is a very good feeling. It gives me a sense of great strength, like I could split a mountain in two just with my voice alone. I feel strong to my core. It is a great stress reliever or normalizer. And it is socially acceptable in the countryside.

One might try howling like a wolf at the moon. There is an individual in New York City that howls at the subway cars as they pass by deep down in the subway stations. But there are other ways to scream in a socially acceptable manner. A singer can do this if it is a very powerful song. A barker in the county fair can do this. A fan at a rock concert can sing along at the top of their lungs. Some commuters sing along to the tune on the radio at the top of their lungs while they are driving down the road. A spectator at a sports event can do this in cheering on their team. Even a Girl Scout can practice barking in front of the local grocery store when she sells Girl Scout cookies. Or find yourself a soundproof room.

excercise. Pumping iron, Jogging, or swimming, can be a good vent for anger.

You might need anger management or therapy


But not for those reasons



Counseling is a money making service

Business


Counselors , of course would insist that you need counseling


Counseling could "help", "hurt", or stay the same

Only one out of the three is to your advantage


And if it "helps", is it worth cost benefit analysis