How have you changed since joining this forum?

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I used this place at first so that I don't burden my friends too much. I used to send them long sprawling emails on my thoughts on stuff. This forum helped me channel my thoughts elsewhere.

As I've got older I feel more sure of myself and have less long sprawling ideas about things. I'm not trying to find my feet anymore. I stand on solid ground.

I find it easier to talk to people face-to-face now. I used to suck at small talk. But practice has helped me. I still don't like small talk, but I know better what to say.

I've developed a bad habit of butting in when other people are talking. It's because I used to be so quiet that I'm now over-compensating. I'm amazed when I can think of something to say so I spit it out in excitement! In the past I had such trouble thinking of things to say to people.

I find it easier to make friends... or I've met nicer people... I don't know. I have a handful of good friends now. I have people to fall back on. I spent a lot of years being lonely. I've had to learn how to make friends. Yet I still can't be friends with regular extrovert NT women. Still can't click with them.

I get on better with my employment now. Im not floyndering anymore. I used to feel like I didn't understand what was expected of me. I've learned over the years what to do in certain situations.

I had to learn from experience and by making mistakes. I find life a bit less stressful now that I can draw on that experience.

I'm still me. I still have the same interests, but I feel like I can integrate with other people better than I did 10 years ago.

The only area I haven't progressed in is my love life. That's all still a mystery to me. I don't feel so much that the problem is me now. I've stopped internalizing the blame. I'm more confident in who I am.

-I have become a lot more self-confident.
-Became more articulate.
-Learned a tremendous amount from the residing denizens.
-Researched a hell of a lot and gained a great deal of enlightenment.
-Found a place to develop my critical thinking skills.

There you go.

I've moved closer to being my real self, ie pre self diagnosis I held myself to the creulest of standards and was stuck in a cycle of self hatred.
As soon as I started to view the world through the autistic perspective it became a less confusing place. In a nutshell I've grown, in ways that are kinder for a person with my abilities.

i've slowed down a great deal, aging has something to do with it though, aside from the maturity-enhancing qualities of the first website forum which accepted me warts and all.

The only real change I have is being more knowledgeable, the awareness and knowing more terms for certain concepts.

That's it and that's all.

The rest goes either for better or worse over the course of time, and only few had anything to do with my interaction in this forum on which most of those changes never lasts.



From maturity to competency to, well, possibly personality -- I just keep gaining things, losing what I've gain, to only regain it again, then lose it again. And so forth.
It's just this annoying -- it's more of an often feeling now, annoying fluctuation of changes between the good, the bad, and the meaningless isn't entirely any external factor -- not upbringing, not experiences, not the way of the world's fault.


At the moment, I'm still questioning myself if I ever scared someone in this forum for whatever reason.

And at the next day or week, I may think this question silly or worrying or neither. I may or may choose not care, I may or may not change based on this.
These words may mean too much, or just a bunch of letters and patterns to me that I just happened to type and posted. I wouldn't know until it happens -- or not.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I've managed the difficult task of being more of "myself" while blending in with others. Or more accurately, not sticking out as different to the typical NT that doesn't care or pay attention.

Because of this forum or in general?

In general, I've... well, gotten much closer to being what I consider a proper adult as I'm now able to take care of myself and my every day things far better than a few years back. In fact, I dare say I'm close to a normal woman my age if we can overlook the fact that I'm most likely a lot slower. The picture of what I want from my future has gotten a lot clearer too, as has the fact that reaching it will be harder than I thought.

My gosh. If only I had time right now to describe it.

My conception of who autistic people are and who I could have been has completely changed. The tragic stories I always knew. The stories of autistic people not being able to form relationships, of getting taken advantage off, of suffering from extreme anxiety and depression I knew all this. Indeed when I first came on to the forum I was so proud of myself for just having a wife, a job and a child on the way.

What I didn't know was that autistic people could be free. There are many autistic people who have had sex with many partners, that drink and use drugs, and travel and...that just have fun. Sometimes there are painful consequences to such adventures, and some of them still suffer from the many problems that I have suffered from, but even so I envy and am humbled by their freedom. It has forced me to rethink of what my life would have been. Also, it has made me rethinking, how I am going to raise my son.

I would like to think I've changed quite a bit from the first time I joined this forum (under a different username) and now. While I have made great strides, I realize that, in some ways, I'm very much the same. I have come to a realization that I may have come as far as I will ever come and that I don't know what I will do if the situation doesn't improve.

I've undergone some changes since joining but I don't believe the changes are the result of forum participation. I've come to accept the downward slope of my life and I've become more tolerant of other people, even when they irritate me. I'm more patient with my husband's dementia. I'm less sad and more resigned.

For me the forum is a place to hang out for a while, a respite. I'm not here for personal growth.

It's made me go from bad to worse. The success stories do not inspire me because my own efforts never pay off and I don't fit in with the Aspie world despite not fitting in with the NT world either.

What a great question.

Discovering for the first time that there were many other people like me was actually something that I assumed I'd never experience in my life.

WP and my diagnosis have helped me be more accepting of myself and validating for who I am. It's helped me to like me for me.

It's been extremely positive for me.