Living with fear about violence on the streets?
I guess this is a concern deeply rooted to my OCD or something any NT would feel, but think my diagnosed Aspergers plays a part of it.
So I've realised I never really do things or activities outside the house in the evening times, or when it's dark. When its daytime I feel comfortable walking about even the most busiest of places but when the sun's down I'm worried when the cover of darkness comes that I will be a victim of crime. I am most fearful about being robbed or definitely worse, being attacked. I keep thinking stuff like what if I would get a permanent injury from a knife, scarring or taken advantage of at night, thinking about the worst that can happen. I'm below average height, skinny and not strong to say the least and don't know how I'd defend myself in a fight for example.
I'm going to be moving down to my University for the next year and this is the biggest worry I have. Where I'm going to is a city and I'm from a small town with barely any crime. I have to keep looking at the local news and high crime stats in the assumption I will protect myself somehow from something dreadful and I'm obsessed with it. Again I feel safe now walking around in broad daylight and just see normal people going about their day however I assume this will change in the dark.
It is during the evenings though that activities relevant to my interest are mainly during this time. People have offered to me if I wanted to go somewhere these times and I have said no and I prefer to do things in daytime. This is where my Aspergers comes in I think. When I'm talking to someone, especially a group it takes me a lot of effort to process what they are saying and keep up and if this would happen at night I would think I would be less aware of my surroundings as I'm talking to them. This affects relationships with me too, as I would likely feel uncomfortable having a date in the night, in fear I and the person with me will be subject to harm.
Is this all irrational or do I have a right to feel worried? The city I'm going to has a lot of reported crime, but I really want to make the most of the year to build my confidence and live away from home.
Thanks!
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Diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome (mildly)
I can't be out at night on my own without feeling worried. If I have someone else with me, I'm alright.
Interestingly I've only ever once been almost a victim of crime, and that was during the day, so I think fear of being out in the dark is a bit irrational. People don't seem to hide under cover of darkness so much any more - the kind of people that are going to commit crimes seem cocky enough to commit them in daylight. I hope that has a positive effect, rather than ALSO making you as worried about being out during the day...
So I've realised I never really do things or activities outside the house in the evening times, or when it's dark. When its daytime I feel comfortable walking about even the most busiest of places but when the sun's down I'm worried when the cover of darkness comes that I will be a victim of crime. I am most fearful about being robbed or definitely worse, being attacked. I keep thinking stuff like what if I would get a permanent injury from a knife, scarring or taken advantage of at night, thinking about the worst that can happen. I'm below average height, skinny and not strong to say the least and don't know how I'd defend myself in a fight for example.
I'm going to be moving down to my University for the next year and this is the biggest worry I have. Where I'm going to is a city and I'm from a small town with barely any crime. I have to keep looking at the local news and high crime stats in the assumption I will protect myself somehow from something dreadful and I'm obsessed with it. Again I feel safe now walking around in broad daylight and just see normal people going about their day however I assume this will change in the dark.
It is during the evenings though that activities relevant to my interest are mainly during this time. People have offered to me if I wanted to go somewhere these times and I have said no and I prefer to do things in daytime. This is where my Aspergers comes in I think. When I'm talking to someone, especially a group it takes me a lot of effort to process what they are saying and keep up and if this would happen at night I would think I would be less aware of my surroundings as I'm talking to them. This affects relationships with me too, as I would likely feel uncomfortable having a date in the night, in fear I and the person with me will be subject to harm.
Is this all irrational or do I have a right to feel worried? The city I'm going to has a lot of reported crime, but I really want to make the most of the year to build my confidence and live away from home.
Thanks!
I believe crime is down pretty much everywhere in the western world, despite the news where if it bleeds, it leads. This makes people think it is unsafe in the world. This must be ignored. The odds of being a victim of a crime is smaller than many think. You might start by finding a person to go with you to start.
Jacoby
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It's interesting the worries you folks across the pond have about crime considering your stringent gun laws and even further than that with knives and such, probably a lot more fist fighting and false bravado. Out here it's all gun play, people typically don't rob random people for fear of getting popped in the dome themselves. That purse is not worth lunging for if it could mean their life.
I've lived in pretty rough areas, I've never really had too many problems since I mind my business and try to avoid situations that put me at risk. I wouldn't worry too much as long as the place you live is secure and don't involve yourself in any people or activities that you shouldn't be.
Sweetleaf
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I think that extent of concern is a bit irrational, I could see not wanting to go out at night alone depending on the area, but to the extent you wouldn't even go out at night while accompanied does seem a bit unreasonable. Being in a group or with another person is safer than being alone, for one....also though yeah it would put a damper on people being able to spend time with you since a lot of activities young adults like are during the evening, not to mention if you're studying in school all day evening and nights are the only real time to go out or hang out with people.
Just try and be aware of your surroundings, try and get to know the area around your campus but don't go to far beyond that until you're more familiar with the area and sort of know where the worse areas to avoid are. Also always have a phone with you.
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Sweetleaf
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I've lived in pretty rough areas, I've never really had too many problems since I mind my business and try to avoid situations that put me at risk. I wouldn't worry too much as long as the place you live is secure and don't involve yourself in any people or activities that you shouldn't be.
When guns aren't as available, people find other often times more brutal ways to maim/kill each other, there are a number of ways to do that without guns.
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I see it as two things:
1) Our fear is mostly irrational. I'm not scared of being out in the dark because I believe I'm actually at any considerable risk. I'm scared of being out in the dark because it's 'creepy' and there's a small risk. I imagine someone following me, though it likely wouldn't happen. Same reason I run upstairs after I've turned the lights off downstairs, because I'm fearful of someone outside the house who, quite clearly, wouldn't exist. Also can't go past my kitchen window at night without feeling a bit creeped out.
2) If I get seriously hurt in this country, it's just me. Our criminals typically fight with their fists, or occasionally knives. That's not going to harm multiple people, in most cases. Guns can harm many people in quick succession. Also, a gun takes a second to kill - anything else has to be closer range and will take longer, providing more opportunity to get help/get away. You don't stand a chance against a gun, really
I dont like violence on the streets either. I live in a big town where fights and stabbings are common at night in the town center, and I stay at home where it is safe. That is why I only do day shifts, night shifts I avoid. My manager doesnt mind, as he knows night shifts arent for everyone, and there are plenty of employees in our company who dont mind night shifts.
Having been in a large number of such situations . As seems i present as a target , i really am not sure why . Perhaps a desperation for friends of anykind . Has marked me , now am much more
cautious too little too late . Brain is wired in a flight fight response most of the time. Yes people even hang about outside my house. Less lately . Was warned about getting blinds on my windows.
By widow next door. CAUSE THEIR FRIGGIN STANDING IN HER YARD TO SEE IN MY WINDOWS.
Yes i witnessed this eventually . Why she did not call the police? They were adult children of other neighbors . More police activity regarding this has slowed some of this ,down, considering 2 of these houses , down street was dealing meth. For a time figured police just wanted regular places they could score felony busts, to make their own personal arrest record look better? But i digress .
Am quite happy the gun laws here are what they are . Am less subject to random attacks ,criminals fear armed victims . I figure . So if dark is where they find advantage . And when to be more alert .
My ptsd induced insomnia serves me well . Many times has been doing nothing but reading at night.
And my security camera might pick up movement . Out in the yard . Yes have lotsa security system .
Capabilities , as am electronic tech besides other skills . These individuals ,seen just prior to their acts . And if they are surprised or caused to think just as they start,that they are being watched, or startled . It goes a long ways towards being a deterrent. Used this successfully . In past.
But timing is key , they have trouble seeing in the dark aswell . have access to a capgun ,, but it might not work its old . So never ever have had to use it . Employing these methods. But do keep this very loud cap gun handy , in a dry place . POLICE just show up late, after the fact, But have interacted many times regarding these events . Not a courageous person , just dumb and tired of abuse. Not intended as Advise , just sharing . And confronting criminals is whyfore and what we pay Police to do !
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I've had bad experiences before, so I take it seriously too. And I have the same dilemma, in that the few group activities I might enjoy, tend to be held at night (and I don't drive, so it's a long walk in the dark from the bus stop).
At the moment, I'm choosing to only get involved in daytime activities, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
Never in my case.
Not ever worried about the streets, more like worried about other people's reaction who are worried about the streets themselves.
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One of the characteristics of Aspies or High Functioning Autistics is that we are often "in our own world" and lack common sense. This makes us a little more vulnerable to violence.
There is a term called "street smart". We hosted a girl from Brazil as a foreign exchange student several years ago. They have a lot of violence in Brazil. Some of it was out in the open in broad daylight. Gangs of males would walk down the street and accost and attack others at random. I asked her how she dealt with it. She said she was aware of everything going on around her. If she saw trouble coming her way, she changed course and went in the opposite direction. That is street smart.
In a perfect world, no one would have to be street smart. We'd all be able to walk alone in strange cities, or casually stroll home after parties without a care. But, for many reasons, this is simply not a reality. While I'm not saying there is danger at every turn, it is often necessary to glance over your shoulder, or to walk a bit faster when in lonely parking garages. Far from paranoia, these are simply precautions that keep you safe.
And that's exactly what street smarts are. "A great synonym for street smarts is having common sense," says SafeWise safety expert Sarah Brown, in an email to Bustle. "Having street smarts means knowing how to respond in different situations ... and paying attention to your surroundings."
It also means acknowledging worst-case scenarios and then taking steps to prevent them — in the most casual way possible. Because again, this doesn't mean you have to live in fear. But keeping in mind how thing might go wrong will make you less likely to have a problem. So, do you know how to keep yourself safe?
The following link provides 13 steps to becoming street smart: 13 Signs You Have Street Smarts & Stay Aware Of Your Surroundings
So you might do a simple search on the Internet for "street smart" and learn to adopt this guidance.
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Ok as rule , this is even well known in the old days , no visitors after dark . Period . Dark spectres are always a bad omen . If you have to confront someone you do not expect ,at night,a bright flashlight in their eyes while you speak . Cops do it , too. Do not respond to questions . Speak in statements or irritated demands . You will sound confident . All the while keep escape in mind. Just repeating what my father in law taught me.
Be Safe all plz.
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Diagnosed hfa
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