Sense of belonging
When you learned that you were autistic, did you have this sudden sense of belonging? Like you finally fit somewhere in the world. You were free in a sense.
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I felt justified in always feeling I was standing alone and not sharing the same experience as those around me.
I want to belong, but autistic people are not that different from the flock.
I'd like somewhere we could just let it all out and not be judged, but here is not it, virtue signal, waves.
Yes. 100% definately. I found this when asking questions on this site where I realized that many aspects I had assumed were part of my character were actually autistic traits.
I have not been assessed yet though... But 100% YES to what you said once I had shock after shock after shock to realize I had trait after trait after trait of autism. I could not believe it! I thought when I first joined this site that there was a possibility that the events I was struggling through which I now know are partial shutdowns, could be linked to asperges/autism, and I had faceblindness... But what I found out since then. Things I had but didn't think too much of them... And as I was rought up on a smallholding which was quite unusual, I just assumed I was naturally different!
dragonsanddemons
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I thought I did for a little while, when everything I read about Asperger's syndrome/HFA seemed to be describing me, but once I joined a social skills group consisting mostly of people on the autism spectrum, it wasn't long before I realized I don't even fit in with others on the spectrum.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
((Hugs)) You fit in here well.
Also I do have a thought. Think of this. The ones who may go to events are far more likely to be people who are on a more sociable end of rhe autistic spectrum? It is just a guess.
dragonsanddemons
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((Hugs)) You fit in here well.
Also I do have a thought. Think of this. The ones who may go to events are far more likely to be people who are on a more sociable end of rhe autistic spectrum? It is just a guess.
I still feel kind of "other" even here, though it certainly is the closest I've come to fitting in.
I think part of the problem is that most of the people in the social skills group are younger and/or higher functioning than I am. They're all finishing up high school or attending college and looking for or already have jobs while I'm on SSI and looking into assisted living.
_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
I think part of the problem is that most of the people in the social skills group are younger and/or higher functioning than I am. They're all finishing up high school or attending college and looking for or already have jobs while I'm on SSI and looking into assisted living.
We're all so unique, so different from each other as well as different from NT's, that we'll never "fit in," even with each other, in the same way that most NT's can fit in with other NT's of the same cultural background, economic class, educational level, etc.
But we can still "fit in" in the sense of mutual acceptance, on the basis of recognizing that we are all different and not expecting conformity to any narrow norm.
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- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)
Last edited by Mona Pereth on 26 Sep 2019, 11:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Let's just say I don't resonate well with the majority, nor most of them ever relate let alone understood and belonged in a deeper sense.
Autistic groups do understood, relate and belong to some extent, but not entirely resonate with.
Observations of the world are mainly similar, familiar.
Yet the lack of emphasis on comorbidity is one thing, the difference towards reaction to circumstances is another.
The 'reaction', the human reaction, is what makes the majority of autistics are 'no different' to others though.
It's just that many of those others don't experienced it first hand, let alone know what they'd react. They don't know they'd react similarly if they're on the same experiences and circumstances.
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Autistic groups do understood, relate and belong to some extent, but not entirely resonate with.
Observations of the world are mainly similar, familiar.
Yet the lack of emphasis on comorbidity is one thing, the difference towards reaction to circumstances is another.
The 'reaction', the human reaction, is what makes the majority of autistics are 'no different' to others though.
It's just that many of those others don't experienced it first hand, let alone know what they'd react. They don't know they'd react similarly if they're on the same experiences and circumstances.
Resonates with so many, even if not intended.
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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I think part of the problem is that most of the people in the social skills group are younger and/or higher functioning than I am. They're all finishing up high school or attending college and looking for or already have jobs while I'm on SSI and looking into assisted living.
We're all so unique, so different from each other as well as NT's, that we'll never "fit in," even with each other, in the same way that most NT's can fit in with other NT's of the same cultural background, economic class, educational level, etc.
But we can "fit in" in the sense of mutual acceptance, on the basis of recognizing that we are all different and not expecting conformity to any narrow norm.
Yep, WP is the one place where I feel like I can truly be myself and not be judged too harshly for it
_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
Deleted.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)
Last edited by Mona Pereth on 27 Sep 2019, 1:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
No, quite the opposite. As soon as I was told I have this Asperger's syndrome thing, I felt like I'm not me any more, I'm the label. Everybody else around me didn't have a label, they were just these normal beings getting on with life, while I felt like having a label separated me from my peers. I felt I was a problem that needed to be fixed. I felt like I was a burden on my mother, a demanding, clingy, overemotional pest I was.
Maybe feeling good about oneself when receiving a diagnosis works on adults, but I was so little when I was diagnosed, so I've always felt defined by this label.
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Feels sense of belonging here , a sort of commonality .
Besides anatomically ..these symptoms , the structural parts of the brain.
That give us our preceptions .albeit we are all different people .
The commonality of affectations , is enough for me to feel less judged by the peeps on this wrongnplanet . Whereas , has not found a more likely place other than this one. A hug to one and all .
I think part of the problem is that most of the people in the social skills group are younger and/or higher functioning than I am. They're all finishing up high school or attending college and looking for or already have jobs while I'm on SSI and looking into assisted living.
We're all so unique, so different from each other as well as NT's, that we'll never "fit in," even with each other, in the same way that most NT's can fit in with other NT's of the same cultural background, economic class, educational level, etc.
But we can "fit in" in the sense of mutual acceptance, on the basis of recognizing that we are all different and not expecting conformity to any narrow norm.
Yep, WP is the one place where I feel like I can truly be myself and not be judged too harshly for it
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