17 Oct 2019, 5:55 pm
I haven't been on here in a long time, mostly due to losing interest and not being sure what to discuss on here anymore but a lot of stuff has happened to me over the past year and few months, so I will just get it all off my mind.
I've been doing my usual things like going on my computer, doing various drawings, playing games, watching movies/shows, listening to music and generally sitting around in my room, which is usually a day in my life but it has been happening loads often, because things have changed for me. I finished up college back in June/July when I finished off my Media course, which was a fun experience and I am glad I passed the course, but after finishing college over the months it feels like I am bored and looking for a purpose in life, which is something in the back of my mind since I don't think too much of it, but my parents see it a lot and even though I keep myself entertained at times, they want me to get out and be more active but I just like sleeping in and staying in the house, which is how my life usually is.
I am now in a time where I will have to get myself a Job and work which sounds interesting but I am really unsure about it and it worries me. I started working at one of the local charity shops up my road in February, and it has gone really well since the staff there are really nice, and I work the simple stuff like sorting out the clothes and putting out new donations, I usually handle the books and dvds since I am familiar with them. I love my job there, but it's a voluntary one and eventually I will have to get myself a real paid job, which I am really worried about because of the places location and schedule since I will have to walk there and working full time would stress me out. I am also terrible with money since I don't know how much is needed when I need to pay for something and it's so confusing, makes me have a hard time when I pay for stuff I get in shops by myself and I would much rather have someone else help or do it for me, like my parents or the staff. I'll have to see how it goes but this is something that really concerns me at the moment.
I haven't been worrying too much about things over the month since they have usually gone out of my head and I have been taking my medication as normal so it helps suppress it to great levels and helps me keep positive, although I am still worried about many things like going down to the city, travelling to far places, really bad events like gang crime/stabbings, family health problems and the new one in having to work and get paid so that I can look after myself and eventually get my own home where I will have to support myself like looking after the place, getting shopping and keeping safe, which is worrying and confusing since I don't know much about that stuff, it all sounds confusing and the fact that this will eventually happen really scares me, it's just too much and makes me want to stay in my dream world.....
It's been good for me this year, and I hope more good things can happen to me this year although these worries greatly concern me and I hope that when the time comes, they will be easy on me and that I will have many help and support as I evolve in life and more things continue, hopefully positive.
That's all for me, Goodnight 
