Have you experienced death? How did you cope?

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Has anyone here experienced the death of a loved one? If so, do you mind sharing that experience, specifically of how you dealt with it like the massive change of that person no longer be a part of your life. My mum is very sick and she isn't going to get better and we've been told to prepare for when she passes away and now I am feeling a mixture of emotional discomfort and feel overwhelmed by it all. I don't want her to go and the more I think about life without her the worse I feel. My head is a mess and I don't know how I'll be when she is gone.

I am experiencing that one right now: my mother was is terminally ill, given one year last Christmas and it is obvious that she is going downhill fast even if she holds on for 4-5 more years. I am convinced her grandchild (my son) is the only thing keeping her going. I honestly not sure how I will react: it will be sad but at the same time it will be an immense relief that her suffering will finally be over. I have also lost a number of relatives and my first child was stillborn. The best way of coping in my experiences was knowing there was/is literally nothing you can do and accept the emotions are going to hit you head on rather than try to fight or run from it. Sorry I can't really give you any specific advice but at least you can know you are not alone.

Four years ago my mom dropped dead

It was not too hard to cope

If you want, keep going about everyday life

Please do not act like it is the end of the world

Counseling

Support group

My mom passed away in 2011. It was very difficult in the beginning. The sad thing is that my mother will never see the changes I have made since then.

My father died several years ago. My mother died a few months ago. It's hell being an orphan, even at my age. While my wife and I have our own home, it isn't really Home to me -- that's where my parents lived and raised us. Now there is another family living there, and just seeing ground-level pictures of it on Google Maps makes me feel sadness.

Sorry for what you folks are going through.

My father passed away a little more than a year ago. I feel like I'm taking it "too well." I have my little mourning moments----but, most of the time, I'm pretty impassive about it.

When my Dad passed away a neighbour passed away six days later so we had to help his widow.About 6 months later my grandmother passed away. Both aunts and uncles also passed away either just before or just aftet. Also about a year or two before my other grandmother had died. (My grandads had died much earlier. One died when I was a year old and the other when I was bout 18 or 19... Maybe 20 years old). We went to 43 funerals of close family and friends within a couple of years. We ended up with only a few people we knew left.
I was totally numb. I had no feelings. I could not feel. I could not cry. I could not feel at all. It was a surreal time because I also had given up work (In a good well paid job) and I was planning to start a business. But then every plan and opportunity were withdrawn from me and I ended up with several years of no income. All money saved was gone. (I had to pay out for nearly a year of hospital visits because my grandmother and dad were ill before this... And Mum does not drive... So... Well. If a Hollywood movie was made about my life and my Mums life during those times no one would believe it was true. So many disasters happened along with a few miracles.
I call those years my "Numb" years. I have not recovered since then. I have gone downhill since those days. It does not mean I have no hope for a great future. It just means that at this moment, things have hit me so hard, and it has been 12 years since my Dad died and all those other people died. We used to have a whole wall full of Christmas cards each year. I think we had about six rows up via string from wall to wall. Today we can hardly fill a single row. Lots of others died that we know as well but we had to stop at 43 funerals as both my Mum and I could not cope with any more.
I have said before that because I am not married and would not know how I can cope, if my Mum dies I will probably go as well, even if it is through starvation as at the moment (Until benefits come through) I have no income and I can no longer work the way I feel as I am a bit too fragile. I tried this summer with a temporary part time low hours job (The type where no way could one earn enough to live on) and I struggled too much... If circumstances in life change then I will feel different.

But I hope soo much that your Mum does not die. If my Mum is willing, you could share my Mum if she does. I don't know what else to say. If there was one thing I could change... Oh how I hate death and illness. How I hate dying and suffering.
The good thing is that without any doubt I know that Heaven is real. I have been there. I can't deny it. It is true.

My grandmother died in my front room, but she was ill for weeks beforehand. Apparently it was supposed to be obvious that she was coming home from the hospital to die at home but I didn't assume that at all, I thought she was going to get better. Even so, it's hard for me to describe how I felt/feel about her death as she was a big part of my life. What I can say is that I didn't cry or "mourn", at least I don't think I did. I don't think I employed any coping strategies actually. I always worried that I was some kind of psychopath for not breaking down and being all emotional.

I suppose it's different because you're only a child and it's your actual mother who is dying. Perhaps speak to a counsellor?

Thank you so much for such a lovely message and gesture. This actually made be cry a little. It is really beautiful and kind of you to say.

I am so very sorry that you, and your family experienced so much loss and grief I'm such a short space of time. My heart goes out to you and your mum . I think despite all you have been through you are doing so well and should be proud of yourself for coping as well as you have so far. I really hope that I can find the strength to keep going like you have.

It is just mum and I since I was three. My dad passed away but at the time I was too young to grieve or understand it. For that I am grateful. Sadly with my mum it is very hard. I am finding it so difficult already and can't imagine how I will be after she passes.

My teacher at school is the closest I have to a friend. She has said I can talk to her if I need to but I find it hard opening up to her.

Thank you for your reply. I am on the waiting list to see a counsellor but it is a long wait and will likely be in 2020 when I finally get to see someone. I am hoping it will be sooner than that though. Fingers crossed.

You may find that if you start to open up it will all come out.

Yes it is possible. I tend to be unable to speak to people in person but I can try to work on that.