Sort of annoyed over therapist alluding to diagnosis

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Hi all, M22 here, guess this is a asking for advice/off my chest post.

Look, I think I've brought this up before not just on this site but on others as well. Even though I suspect ASD traits I'm not comfortable/touchy opening up about it to anyone, let alone accepting it myself. Recently, like two weeks ago I went to a therapist who I've been waiting ages for due to vague mood issues and bad ongoing dissociation, and I was telling her I about it and how I had trouble connecting emotionally to others, then I swear whilst totally ignoring what I was talking about I could tell she was alluding to a diagnosis, like asking me these invasive/uncomfortable questions about it, like do you have trouble with expressing yourself, do you have friends etc. To tell you the truth I don't think having an ASD necessarily has anything to do with connecting emotionally to others, think that's more of an attachment disorder thing because I know others with the same thing and they all date fine so I don't see why it's relevant to even bring up, like it's just another way for someone else to feel better than me.

Maybe I'm just being hypersensitive about it (we both agreed I'm emotionally sensitive) but it makes me feel like I'm being 'bullied'/interrogated about my level of verbal ability and other things, like I'm being put on trial and she can't just accept that it's a touchy subject and everyone has their own individual traits and not everyone wants to be pigeonholed into a label nor does it even matter unless it's a full-blown case. Related, but I also apparently look younger than my age, so I already have issues with being seriously and I feel like she was a bit patronizing to me which just worsens my mood/esteem even more. Like I said I could just be being defensive about it because I have issues with self-acceptance but idk.

Am I just being hypersensitive about this and next session how should I approach this? I only have limited sessions available anyway so I just wanna get this thing fixed and leave.

If you don't follow the process wherever it leads, you face the risk of significant negative consequences.

I totally get where you're coming from. I hear you.

Let's take a moment to consider the purpose of the process in a bit more detail. Screener tests are designed to score high enough for anyone who *may* be on the spectrum to recommend they see a specialist.
A specialist worth their salt should administer the correct instruments and use the metrics gathered plus their observations to determine whether a person meets criteria for diagnosis.
We who went through this process and came out with a diagnosis, then join the neurodiversity advocacy movement, find a lot of issues with the medical approach (medical model vs social model) but it seems clear the diagnosis is at least a step in the right direction.

It's very normal to view the diagnosis as something negative, while also talking down its significance - "hey, I'm not like those folks on the autism speaks advertisements". We all carry in some of society's prevailing stigma, I think, at this stage.

It seems like this therapist thinks that getting some certainty about the possibility of an ASD diagnosis would be good for you. Whichever side of the fence you end up on, I heartily agree.

The cost of not correctly identifying an issue is that it's still there, weighing everything else down. I made it to 37 undiagnosed, then almost lost it all to depression and suicide. It just felt like I was working so hard on a playing field that was tilted invisibly against me.

Please, follow the process wherever it may lead, or run the risk of terrible consequences

One quick word about specialists, some seem as good as the next one but say some very counter-productive things. If it goes in that direction, find a clinical psychologist whose practice specializes in ASD and ensure the referral is to them.

Thanks for the response.

Why would there be negative consequences? Give me an example.


As in it doesn't (or didn't) sit well with you either?



Yeah true that, I guess I do view it as something negative but I can't pinpoint why, I mean I could have some other neurological disorder such as epilepsy and the idea of it wouldn't bother me, and yet this does. Apparently I'm not the only one either as some other person (joe) on this forum sees it the same way, and there are other sites online with mom's/parents denying their child's (I'm not a child but same thing) diagnosis. And then you see these ads on TV such as with Katy Price talking about her own son's autism like it's such a horrible thing (even though to be fair he had a severe case I guess), my point still stands. It's seen as a bad thing, especially on a personal level and in my own head.

I guess I have low-esteem or something, and I have identity issues so having this condition could mean any number of things in my own head. I know a few others (lets say several) who have traits and they don't seem to be fazed by it, they know who they are and don't class it as a big deal, like it's just something you have.

The several people/bullies in my life who knew I had this either severely mistreat me or had some weird obsession with me like they would watch me all the time and nitpick my every move. I don't want to be told I'm a 'special person' by anyone, it just makes me feel like a freak. Anyway, off my chest, hopefully my therapist can at least stabilize my emotions tomorrow when I go back because I've been feeling kinda edgy the last few days. Thanks for listening and getting what I'm saying, guess I'll see how it goes.

edit: also, if this post came off as irritable or whatever, I didn't mean to it's just, I'm not feeling myself lately.