Stereotypes.

Post Reply New Topic

If you've ever been stereotyped due to your autism, how did you deal with it? What did it feel like? What happened afterwords?

I discovered I had Asperger's Syndrome while I was several months into a relationship with my first boyfriend. I was 19 years old. After that, he treated me differently... After a few more months, he broke up with me, believing that I lacked compassion, even going as far as to say I'd make a poor mother.

I was absolutely devastated. Nothing had hurt as much as that last statement. I'm still deeply hurt and haunted by that. At times, I feel like, even though I try so hard to show compassion and express my feelings, my diagnosis is the only thing anyone sees.

I'm sure you're compassionate. Besides, just because you don't SHOW compassion doesn't mean you don't FEEL it. Not everyone understands that sadly. -Power Girl

Well, according to my nan she knew there was know way that I had aspergers because apparently aspergians have severe behavioural problems but autistics are rather placid (although in my opinion my conduct depends entirely on each situation).

In my english language class I get stereotyped as a genius (from what I can tell anyway), the lecturer has taken to asking me random difficult questions about whatever subject before the lesson has even began; I complained about this last week and my mentor sent the lecturer an email saying that it would be best not to ask me questions about words without any prior warning for the reason that I tend to think in only pictures (that's news to me).

BTW

I get tired when some NT people tend to confuse lack of empathy with lack of compassion, some of my relatives have taken my diognosis as an excuse to dismiss me from any argument, claiming that I lack empathy and so my views are invalid. I've told them several times that my empathy is delayed and random, not instant but selective, but they don't seem to like that either...I suppose it ain't simple enough for them to stomach.

probably behind my back everyday when I was growing up. Today though, most people don't have it unless I tell them.

Stereotypes can be useful in an approximate way. For example, if you had met five Irish people in your life, but each one you met the first time kicked you in the shin, you might take a step back when you are introduced to the next Irishman.

One can make use of stereotypes based on the experiences of others. For example, a college freshman may hear of stories of STDs, traffic citations, unwanted pregnancies, and waking up in vomit associated with collegiate alcoholic bacchanals. As a result, he may decline an invitation to attend one.

We all make use of approximations. However, there are times when we have to apply the work to make an individual assessment. Decades ago I had a supervisor who worked for me comment that she had hired some Vietnamese and the turned out to be good workers so she hired some more. The second group turned out not to be as good. I encouraged her to go to the work of finding out from each applicant their actual work ability and experience. I told her that her laziness was costing the company money.

One of the reasons I am reluctant use the labels Aspergers or Autism is that I would prefer someone to dislike me for my actual personality rather than provide a label that is mis-representative and provides someone a convenient reason to dislike me easily.

Labels are not always accurate or specific. For example, a person may say that he does not like black people. What he might more accurately mean is that he feels uncomfortable with urban drug dealing black culture, but would feel more at home with Southern rural black Christian culture. While making a label more specific tends diffuse simplistic accusations of racism, it shows that there are still inaccuracies due to approximations and generalizations.

One cannot get everyone else not to use stereotypes. However, by refraining from using labels, one might find that one is not so easily dismissed. Rather that declare one has Aspergers (as if it were a disease or a deformity), one might consider saying, "I'm sorry, I have a tendency to focus too much". This is like someone saying, "I'm sorry, I get spacey sometimes." This keeps things individual and personal rather that classified with a group.