Growing out of it

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In the past, I've always been told that I'd grow out of it. It being ADHD, Aspergers, friendlessness and another of the things I was concerned about, this sentence seemed to be the go-to answer for a lot of concerns in my life.

What do you guys think about growing out of certain conditions or behaviors or situations? Have you ever been told you'd grow out of it by somebody? Is time truly a cure for certain ills in your life?

Might not be the right place to post this, hopefully a moderator can move this post to random discussion. Although it does sort of relate as I was told I'd grow out of ADHD and that I'd grow out of many symptoms of my Aspergers, they'd tell me I'd learn and get over some things.

A job counselor had the nerve to tell me that "I don't think you are autistic. You are a late late late bloomer"

At that time I was about 26 and now I am 36

Still have not bloomed

Maybe ten years later

Or maybe not at all

Something that is reiterative (recurrent) like interaction with the world from a less common neurological configuration, offers constant opportunities to experiment with different responses. As a person accumulates more effective responses, it may appear that he is growing out of his "condition". However, by this measure, one might also say that the defective condition of the selfishness of childhood is usually "cured" by becoming an adult.

Learning better management and coping skills is not a "cure". One can also make the case that difference is not the same as defect.

I, seemingly, "grew out" of some aspects of my autism. Owing to an ability to adapt to the "wider" world.

I know at 58 I am better adapted than I was. I have a pretty active social life being in groups of people with a common interest and I understand relating to women better. I sometimes wonder if I am still autistic. I am a very late bloomer, but then I can still find myself isolated in a big room where everyone else is talking. I still embrace pursuing knowledge for the sake of knowledge like learning Latin. I still have quirks like doing something like reading, stop do some task. Read again, stop do two tasks, etc. and realize I indeed still have it. But that is who I am and I don't want to change it.

My autism actually seems to have gotten worse over time, or at least become more apparent due to different life circumstances. Granted I'm only 26.

You don't grow out of it, but over time, you can get better at dealing with things. At my last birthday I finally qualified for the senior discount at the restaurant my relatives took me to, so I've had 6 decades to acquire coping skills, and I have gotten better at it over time, but it sure took a long time to do so.

Various life experiences can help with your life journey. For most of my work life I was a temp, so I worked at a lot of different places with a lot of different people. I believe this helped me to better deal with new people, and new experiences. It also exposed me to people of all different races and countries, and I found I was almost always able to get along with all of the different people I worked with.

I've never lost the feeling of discomfort of being in new situations, but I can definitely cope with it much better, when I do have to be in such situations. Due to health issues tho, I seldom go out anymore, and was no longer able to drive, so I sold my car to a relative for enough money to pay the security deposit on a govt. subsidized handicapped apartment in a very nice apartment complex. Both my relative, and I got a good deal out of the sale, as I really like my new home, and he has a good, but very old vehicle out of the sale.

Sorry to digress. I think that over many years, as we mature and grow older, we can often develop coping methods, and a level of tolerance that help us to deal with the normal world. It's still not a perfect situation, but it's better than when we are young. I still have some problems dealing with the normal world, but I am better at it than when I was a kid, or teen, or young adult.

I do think there are plenty of norms out there who don't really believe in the Autism spectrum, and think it is something we will grow out of, but if they are waiting for that to happen, they will have a very long wait.

There are others who think we are just acting up, and that we should stop doing so, and behave ourselves, like the rest of the norms. Met plenty of those. They'll have a long wait, too, as I am not capable of being completely normal, but do a good job of being near normal on the rare occasions I have to be with other people. I know that after I'm done with whatever the occasion is, I'll be able to go home and be alone, and be myself, so I put up with the discomfort of dealing with normal people for the little while involved.

The funny thing is, I can't stand to be with people much, but at the same time, I don't hate people. I am non social, not anti social, and just prefer to be alone. My not hating people has been a big help, and my former job history has also helped me to deal with other people better than when I was young.

I'm 60 years old and I don't know what to say to people who think we will just grow out of it. Guess we are still growing.

Social skills improve with practice. And get worse if you don't use them. So, if you continue to practice as you get older, they should get better. Or get worse if you don't interact with anyone.

My uncle seems to believe that only children have things like ASD, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and other disorders like that. He believes that as soon as you reach about 17 or 18 you should have 100% control over your mind, and be able to handle everything life throws at you and be capable of achieving everything and anything. He even believes adults shouldn't have any irrational phobias.

He's very intelligent, my uncle. But he's very ignorant when it comes to the emotional thoughts and feelings of others. I often wonder if he has alexithymia.