Too emotional?

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I always tend to take everything that people say seriously. Almost everything that someone does that is rude or annoying makes me too sad or angered. More than the average person also.
When I was a kid, if somebody sad one rude word to me or even yelled at me I would cry. Any type of critism would make me upset because I take it too seriously. I feel as if people always have to watch whatever they say around me.
Now, I don't cry anymore and learned to hold all my tears in. I haven't cried about anything in months but there was a time where I cried nearly everyday for every stupid reason.
All I do when I get upset is shut my self from the rest of the world and talk less than usual. I never talked that much to begin with but when I'm upset I isolate myself from everyone and people get too concerned.
My mom has said that I'm too melodramatic and make simple problems look like a big deal. I found out that it was true and decided to never speak to her about my problems again. I don't speak to anyone else about my issues either because I know they might feel the same way. I always tell people: "You have problems of your own, don't waste your time on my dumb shallow problems." After that they usually don't go away but then they give up when I repeat "It's nothing"a few times.
I'm usually an angry person. If someone says something that doesn't sound right, I'll either raise my voice (many people think I talk too loud) or keep debating them about why they pissed me off. I do that instead because I know that if I don't do that I'm going to cry. I HATE crying because it embarrases me and it gives people more chances to hurt my feelings.
I've done some outrageous stuff that I regret (and sometimes don't regret) when I get angry. I'm surprised that nobody has locked me up somewhere yet.
People think I'm cold and emotionless because I don't express my feelings unless I lose my temper or isolate myself.
For some reason I like to be serious. I don't know why. Maybe it distinguishes me from other people. The only thing I don't like about it is all the consequences I get for it.
I think that I over analyze and think about everything too much. For some reason, I think that myself getting offended to easy disqualifies my dx of mild autism. I've heard that autistics don't get upset that easily over people saying rude stuff or over harsh critism.
The way I express myself is the thing that separates me from people the most. I feel that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time. As if I should've been lived in a different area or even another time period. The thought of "What the hell am I doing here?" has occured in my mind all the time.
It also frustrates me when I can socialize as well as everyone else and I get angry when my speech impedients get in the way of me having a conversation. I hate repeating myself and having to explain everything all the time. I think that makes me mad more than anything else, people don't understand what I try to say.
What should I do to stop being emotional?
I rant too damn much in this forum, I bet I've annoyed many of you by doing that. I think I'll stop if people here give me that impression.

Hi Enigma

If anyone tells you that you are excessively emotional, retort with "Get Bent"! When you say that you are "too emotional", do you mean sadness dominates? Are you being treated for depression? There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings, as long as they don't cause you problems or impact negatively upon others.

Regards,

Greg

I'm not getting treated for depression at all. Do you think I have it?
What I mean by being too emotional is that I feel as if I get too sad or angry over every conflict that I have with someone, even more than the average person.
When I'm not laughing about something, I'm usually sad so therefore sadness does dominate.

Hey Again

It would be an idea to consult your doctor - a constant "sad sensation" would constitute clinical depression. It seems almost the norm for autistic individuals to experience some degree of depression sometime. Depression can be treated effectively with anti-depressant [and maybe mood stabilising] medications; counselling might also be helpful, depending on you!

Stay positive Ducky

Ashley, if you didn't rant here, where would you rant? Electricity needs an outlet, and to stifle you if you are expressing yourself non-destructively and it's coming from your mind & heart as nicely as you can put it, I'm all in favor for that.

You know what's messed up with society? How crying is so often looked at as a sign of weakness -- I've seen some pretty screwed-up guys who want to cry at times but can't because of fear they'll be seen as "queers" and "sissies" (now there's another screwed-up, related issue with dirty roots).

There are times, many times actually, when I've taken what people have said and blown it WAYYY out of proportion. Too many times I should have treated someone's words as b.s. and took it literally, and ended up being disappointed into the end. I've done crazy, bad stuff myself -- I had this one episode with a huge kitchen knife which is hilarious in hindsight because I used it to chop a countertop up (THANKFULLY not people), but also reminds me of how I have problems being understood and how I've had to struggle for things and improve in my life throughout the years. It's been hard at times, I always knew I was... different. Cliched but true, and that comes from my heart -- and don't you EVER equate "cold and emotionless" with not expressing yourself. Isn't that stoic resolve a kind of anti-emotion, yet an emotion all to its own on a flipped plane (kind of like matter and anti-matter)? I don't know for sure but tossing an idea out to you.

Here's something for you to ponder, Ashley:

If you make small things look big, how do big things look to you?

It's okay to be serious. Some people joke too much and never get work done. Do you ever wanna laugh more? Just find a balance that works for you and feels right, but if your'e sad a lot, you should look more into that. You know, I used to get upset over rude stuff too, but the more happened to me, I eventually became de-sensitized and numb to it. I can't say that's the same for everyone, but what I can say is that you eventually become used to some things in life, and perhaps especially in Aspies, start to see these patterns whirling within the chaos. That makes life -- or some of it, anyway -- easier to figure out, or at the very least, more tangible to deal with.

Have you seen Greg's post about that new Autistic book coming out which is a collection of essays by people with Autism and people who know Autistics? I've not checked it out thoroughly enough yet, but sounds to me like you've got a perfectly worthwhile contribution on your hands (if you can come up with 1500 words, which I believe you can), and your rant is just the tip of an iceberg!

Okay, ongoing... I wish you the best in the meantime.

I do the same thing - and, as I've said before, I'm bipolar - so I don't know if the two things are related . . . I think, maybe, what we are experiencing are meltdowns . . .

I think that I'm going to write the essay for the book. I hope that they put my essay onto the new book because I don't want all that hard work to be for nothing. I expect there to be like hundreds of essays that they have to choose from.
Oh well, no harm in trying anything.

Do not worry, your hard work will most certainly be for something. Regardless of whether it's chosen or published or what, you'll have it always to keep with you and share with others, and you will have learned something from expressing yourself within it. And oh yeah, I'm sure you know we have an Articles section here. As long as you wrote it, you wrote it -- provided proper computer backup, it's not like it's going to disappear into thin air or anything!

I get emotional very easily. I just don't show my emotions to my friends or my family members. When life gets to be too much for me, I'll either wait until I'm alone or I'll go into my room and have a good cry. That happens about once every three months. I don't want to cry in front of the fridgid people of the NT world. They wouldn't understand.

I am overly emotional. If someone who I have become friendly leaves, I get extremely upset. I, too, in the proccess of being overly emotional have done some things that I regret (the only difference here is I did get locked up when I was 9 - for your sake, don't let yourself ever get to that point it was the worst two months of my life that I will unfortunately never be able to forget). If you think it is something that you cannot control, seek help. While it is hard to seek help and admit that you may need it, it is worth while and better than feeling down all of the time.

I think you and I have the same mother! My mother has told me on serveral occasions that I am too sensitive. Now, she will call and want to know what is going on, and I only tell her "small talk" stuff. And, once when I told a psychologist that my family thinks I am too sensitive, she replied that the next time they say that to me, I should reply, "Thank goodness someone in this family is sensitive!! !"

I sounds to me like you might ask a psychiatrist or a psytchiatrist physician's assistant about anxiety. I recently posted a question to ask people what luck they have had with drugs, and one Aspie responded that antidepressants are not the best drug for those with aspergers. You sound too sad, however, and that is a burden you should not have to shoulder alone. I hope you can talk to a professional about it because it sounds like it's currently in control of you, instead of you being in control of it.

Keep us updated on how things are going with you. I know that on this site, we all have seudo names, etc., but we each are humans just like you and we all belong to this same club...and we care about our "buds." Keep coming here to vent. It is easier to tell a stranger than it is your own mom sometimes. We don't judge anything and quite often we're in the same boat.

I am very familiar with being disappointed by people, and with anger. I am very angry over the number of psychologist and psychiatrist we have seen that have never correctly diagnosed my husband as having Asperger's so we could know what the heck we were even dealing with.
Try to disperse the anger in an appropriate manner. Try WRITING the person with whom you are angry and tell them why you feel that way. Writing is a great way not to have to deal with them giving you a defensive look. They can't mouthe back at you with you standing there trying to TELL them. And, it lets you gather your thoughts and get it just as you'd like to say it without getting flustered. With your thoughts on paper, when they read it, they don't have anything to distract them from exactly what you mean to say. (I tried this with my mother once and it helped.) My grandparents told me something once that has served me really well in life. Never put into writing anything that you would not want read in a court of law. So long as you don't make a threat, and just deal with the facts of how they make you feel and why, you may make enroads toward improved communication.

Wish I could offer more.

Stay well.

I think half of all the garbage we deal with ( Including NT people ) Is leftover trauma from earlier life experiences.

You feel sad because you accept everyone's criticism as valid. You feel angry because you are still dealing with the criticisms of previous life experiences. Everyone, including NTs drag these around with them, and they affect how you interact with people. Carry this long enough, and they become habit. You have to deal with the problem in the core of your being. And it's not all your fault, or your parents fault, it's a combination of everything.

Looking back on life, you probably remember the experiences that caused you to become too cautious, or always fight authority figures, etc.

INteractions with your father, harassment at school, etc. Well, real life is not at all like those experiences all the time. You'll run into bad people, but they are far and few between. The problem is, these severe experiences will cause you to act out a script, you'll respond and feel the same way as that kid you were years ago. You KNOW you shouldn't but you do.

One exercise, is to 'write' a letter to that child ( sounds goofy, but it's a way to do self analysis ). Imagine yourself as that young kid, bright, fun spontaneous, and trying to deal with some big problem that just occured. Write him a letter, tell him what you felt, you understand what he feels, etc. In doing this, you'll confront those emotions, and they will lose their hold. But really, WRITE a letter. And if your dealing with emotions from someone who hurt you, or you hurt, do the same. Apologize, confront, etc. You don't have to send the letter to them, it's there to allow you to process the emotional baggage.

It's a common psych trick, and it works.

I am also extremely sensitive. I can't take criticism/rejection, I get highly upset if anyone else is upset (or I think he/she has a reason to be upset) and I cry at anything. It's difficult and it makes me look weird. But I like being concerned about other living creatures. I need to learn to control my emotions better, though, because it really limits me. Social interactions can easily upset me, as is just witnessing social interaction. I have very strong emotions and I go into sensory overload very quickly and that just turns my emotions on full blast (usually it comes out, as I stated, as crying). Although most people don't understand it, there's a lot of good things about being sensitive. It often makes you more caring

I used to have a harder time dealing with criticism/rejection, but I found I have been able to "learn" it and over time, I have become numb to such things -- to some degree, of course. I've seen so many talented people stop short of their goals because the criticism got to them. Necessary evil and perhaps one of those blessings in disguise, huh? Eventually you get so fed up you're like "I don't care anymore what they say, I'm just going to live my life like it's my life -- which it is!!" and go onwards . . .

Do you like to be hugged, Bridgett?

That's actually an interesting question. Yes, by people I trust, I love to be hugged But that didn't happen until I was around 18. Before then I was pretty touch-phobic (I still am around most people; I'm either smothering or won't let someone near me, depending on who that someone is )

Ahhh thanks. Me too. I don't care much to be hugged by strangers, and the darned shaking hands thing is just sooo intrusive.