Judgement for sensory issues.

Post Reply New Topic

So, I'd like to tell you about a conversation that happened earlier this month.

However, I should give you some context. My parents suspect that I may have dyscalculia, and they have suspected this since I was eight years old. Now, my dad in particular tends to use this to explain my sensory issues. Personally, I have only ever found a few sources claiming a potential connection between the two, so I have my doubts. They do not suspect autism.

I was in a restaurant with my parents and my sister. Now, I had ordered a lemonade and it was a little sharp. I was trying to not let that show on my face. Unfortunately, it did a little. My sister got annoyed at me. The following conversation ensued:

Dad: You have to give her some leeway with these things, she has sharper senses due to-

Sister: That's just your opinion! Look, I have friends who are actually diagnosed and none of them act like her.

Dad: I can assure you I don't research things half-way.

Sister: You can't keep using this to give her an excuse to act like a nutcase!

Me: *Sitting there, regretting ordering lemonade*

*Bickering continues*

I often feel like I'm expected to apologise for showing any sign of over-sensitivity. Sometimes people misinterpret it as complaining. I'm not. Why it bothers my sister so much I don't know.

People can be understanding, but others get annoyed and demand that I improve my tolerance for things. The thing is, I was tolerating that lemonade, I was trying not to let the sharpness show and drink it at a regular speed. I'm trying dammit.

Anyone else get negative responses for showing over-sensitivity?

All the time! I get it when it actually causes trouble for others, like when I couldn't eat all the foods mom made when I was a child and she had to make me something else, but why is it a problem when I make a separate salad in to a different bowl for myself because I need smaller pieces and can't handle the ingredients mixing!?

I've even been bitched at by a member on this forum about my sensory issues with the person saying that it's not possible for sensory issues to affect in certain ways.

"I can assure you I don't research things half-way"

The force is strong with this one.

Yes, sometimes but not by my family so much anymore. Its good you have an ally in your dad who has done his research. Is your sister intolerant of lots of things or just your sensory stuff?

My sister treats me with disgust... regularly. Publicly she sings my praises (not in m presence), so it's a mind F that way. She is disgusted by my sensitivity in all ways: my physical sensitivity and emotional sensitivity. In my late 40s my therapist advised that the world needs sensitive people like you and I and has instilled some pride for me. In fact she's a bit sad for my sister at her insensitivity. (I'm still fairly scared of it.)

I think the trick is for us to put it out there: "Wow, this lemonade is tart for me!! !" (then change or accept) rather than hiding it. Validate ourselves and the bullies fade away.

I got that sort of thing constantly growing up. Whenever lights, sounds, or tastes bothered me, I'd get told off for "over-reacting".

We have our squabbles, but we usually see eye-to-eye in the end. Small things can annoy her, like how I have a tendency to sometimes swirl a drink slightly before drinking it (I usually do so in a absent-minded manner). However, it's mostly my sensitivities that rub her the wrong way.

Although, she has complained before about my hand-flapping. I've noticed that on occasion she has shown the same behaviour. Guess I must be having an influence after all these years. My dad has also been known to hand-flap, more so than my sister but seemingly a lot less than me. She's become more tolerant of it over time, rather than telling me off she asks me what the issue is. Either that or she'll tell me to stop stressing. I don't mind that, sometimes it can snap me back to reality in that moment and stop me spiralling.

My sister doesn't mind it when I take things literally, she usually finds it amusing. However, we have clashed before over me sounding passive-aggressive or sarcastic when I am not trying to be. She understands this though as she is aware that I'm not always great with tone.



I don't consider my sister a bully.

Admittedly I somewhat understand where she is coming from. She worries that our parents coddle me and that I need to get used to the real world. My sister thinks that I am over-dramatic and simply need more exposure to things I dislike. However, she's never complained about my emotional sensitivity. Not for a while anyway, not since I was in my early teenage years. Although I have been told that I can be rather illogical when it comes to emotions, and I don't always explain them clearly enough. I've gotten better at that though.

People have complained that I am not sensitive enough. Admittedly I'm not great at comforting others. One time I delegated the task of comforting a crying person to someone else because I didn't know how to deal with them myself.

I can be resilient and often roll with the punches. However, I think that some people forget that I can be emotionally stirred as well. I have a soft side to my personality despite the years of bullying I went through in school.

My mother has worried before about me potentially being deterred from continuing with university due to certain situations that have occurred, but my sister never had any doubts about me handling them.

If I had just been with my parents, I might have said something. However, I didn't want to come across as ungrateful. My dad did offer to get me a water to go with the lemonade, but I decided to just grin and bear it instead. It wasn't bad. Besides, I didn't want to be a bother.